Sewing Tutorial: Charming Trivet

 Have a pack of charm squares and need a project? Here's a way to use six of them to make a little trivet to protect tabletops from hot serving pans.

Three charm squares per side

SUPPLIES

6 charm squares
Batting
Insul-brite
Cutting tools: ruler, rotary cutter, cutting board, and iron

For this trivet, I have two sets of three matching squares

DIRECTIONS

Cut four of the charm squares in half diagonally, making eight right triangles.

One side will have the US flag in the center with the stars on the edge,
and the other the reverse

Now cut the triangles to fit against the uncut charm square: center the right angle on your cutting mat and trim so that the hypotenuse (opposite the right angle) is five inches long. You'll be cutting about an inch off the smaller angles of the triangles.

Does that make sense? Like in the picture.

And cut half an inch off the hypotenuse. Repeat these steps for all eight triangles.

Three inches tall, five inches long at the widest part

    
Now sew four triangles to each side of the two remaining charm squares, right sides together.

I have my needle in the default position, and the fabric lined up with the foot.

Iron both sides flat.

And of course, square up the sides if needed.

Layer the two pieces with the batting and Insul-brite: both pieces of fabric right sides together, then batting, then Insul-brite.

Or Insul-brite then batting; doesn't matter

Stitch around the edges, leaving room for turning. Flip right side out, iron, then top stitch.

Stitch along the seams too; it holds the layers together better and looks nice.

Trim any loose threads, give it another press, and you're all set!

Gifts for Anniversaries

 Anniversaries are a great way to mark partners' commitments to each other. While the people celebrating the anniversary usually know each other well enough to find the right way to mark to occasion, it can be useful or fun to look to lists of "traditional gifts" for the different anniversaries, and brainstorm from there. As with any event when people exchange gifts with each other, the critical part is that all parties agree on the type and level of commemoration: whether everyone agrees to an exorbitant and opulent celebration, a small and intimate private function, or no acknowledgement at all--it's all good.

There are non-traditional ideas too. For example, items made in the year you were married (or when your relationship started) like wine or coins minted that year: give a penny for your first anniversary, a nickel for your fifth, and so on. Take a trip to a place that was special early in your relationship, or somewhere you've always wanted to go. Enjoy a recreation of the first meal you shared together. Set aside time to look through mementos of the time you've spent together. You can throw a party to celebrate with people important to you, or have an intimate evening alone. A vow renewal can be a lavish event or a few minutes set aside after a standard religious ceremony--I've attended both, the latter only because I happened to go to church that day, and both versions are touching. You can (several months in advance) request anniversary greetings from heads of state in some countries--check the relevant office's website for information on how to request a letter of congratulations.

First: Paper (traditional) or clocks (modern)
Books, letters, origami or other paper crafts, printed tickets to an event, stationery, magazine subscription
Promise of time--commit to spending time doing something with your partner

Second: Cotton or china
Anything sewn or otherwise handmade out of cotton; clothing, bedding, etc
Fancy meal on fine china dishes--either at home or a restaurant

Third: Leather or crystal/glass
Jewelry, clothing, accessories, shoes, etc made of leather
Personalized glassware, wine-tasting trip

Fourth: Fruit or flowers; or appliances
Plant a garden or fruit tree together, enjoy local produce at a farmer's market or locavore store, make a meal of local foods
Shop together for needed replacements, find useful accessories for current appliances, use current appliances for something you both enjoy (e.g.; cooking a nice meal)

Fifth: Wood or silverware
Buy or make a sculpture or home décor, take a trip to forest or museum that features wooden art, play a game with wooden pieces like Jenga, build something together
Enjoy a fancy meal with the "good" silver

Sixth: Candy or iron; wood
Candy bouquets, homemade candy, gourmet sweets; iron décor or garden art, tools
Buy or make a sculpture or home décor, take a trip to forest or museum that features wooden art, play a game with wooden pieces like Jenga, build something together

Seventh: Wool or copper; desk sets
Storebought or handmade wool clothing or accessories, wool craft supplies, a trip to the countryside or a farm (or if you already live on one, do you want a new sheep?); copper décor, cooking supplies, garden art, or tools
Monogrammed stationery, fancy pen or even an inkwell with a feather pen, computer accessories or upgrades

Eighth: Pottery or bronze; linen or lace
Storebought or handmade pottery for the kitchen, garden, or for décor; bronze tools or art
Table linens with monograms or other personalized touches, new clothing or accessories, décor

Ninth: Willow or pottery; leather
Storebought or handmade pottery for the kitchen, garden, or for décor; pooden furniture, walk through a forest or arboretum, woven basket filled with...anything! 
Jewelry, clothing, accessories, shoes, etc made of leather

Tenth: Tin or aluminum; diamond jewelry
Tins of gourmet food, homemade food wrapped in foil, trip to places where tin or aluminum souvenirs are made, equipment or tools made of tin or aluminum (lower-priced bicycles are often made of aluminum; perhaps a biking trip), metal container to hold...anything!
The obvious like rings, earrings, bracelets, and necklaces--or art or décor

Eleventh: Steel or fashion jewelry
Stainless steel kitchen supplies or tools, artwork, car accessories or a car trip
Jewelry for a night out, jewelry fashioned into artwork or décor

Twelfth: Silk or linen; pearls
Silk undergarments/lingerie, silk bedding, silk outergarments like ties or shawls, personalized linens
Jewelry, art, or décor with pearl or mother-of-pearl inlay; oysters, trip to a beach

Thirteenth: Lace, textiles
Lace lingerie or other clothing, lace-trimmed décor, "laced-up" shoes for a walk, anything wrapped in lacey doilies, lace-looking treats like delicate cookies
Monogrammed or otherwise personalized home décor, new clothing or other fabric-based home needs, shopping trip, fabric for crafts

Fourteenth: Ivory, gold jewelry 
Of course, it's best to avoid actual ivory as it should stay on the animals it comes from--but perhaps a trip to wildlife refuge or zoo or museum where the animals are found (ivory comes not only from elephants, but other animals including walruses, narwhals, and elk, plus extinct animals like mammoths and mastodons), or a trip to a concert hall, or to a museum that has ancient artwork is in order.
Aside from the usual jewelry like rings, earrings, bracelets, necklaces, and watches, gold can be made into artwork and décor.

Fifteenth: Crystal, watches
Jewelry, décor, vases, stemware, a meal at a fancy restaurant, artwork
Any time-keeping instrument, or a gift of time

Sixteenth: Coffee or tea (both traditional and modern)
Matching mugs, date to a coffee/tea shop, fancy brew, coffee/tea making machines or accessories, treats that go with the drinks (or other drinks like hot chocolate if coffee and tea aren't your...cup of tea)

Seventeenth: Wine and spirits (both traditional and modern)
Date to a nice bar, wine-tasting, tour of a brewery or winery, bottle of high-end alcohol (or other drinks like sparkling cider if alcohol isn't wanted or appropriate), picnic lunch with a toast

Eighteenth: Appliances (both traditional and modern)
Shop together for needed replacements, find useful accessories for current appliances, use current appliances for something you both enjoy (e.g.; cooking a nice meal)

Nineteenth: Jade (both traditional and modern)
Meal at any of the numerous restaurants with "jade" in the name, jade jewelry or art, jade-colored clothing or other items, bonsai jade tree, trip to a place where jade is a popular souvenir item

Twentieth: China, platinum
New dishes (especially if after two decades, yours need replacing), personalized dishes, figurines or other décor made of china
Art, jewelry, or décor made of platinum; music from a "platinum" record

Twenty-first: fire, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Candle-lit dinner, date around a fire pit or at an open-flame grill, barbecue tools or foods, trip to see fire-related things like volcanos

Twenty-second: water, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Visit to an aquarium or natural body of water like a lake or ocean, kayaking or canoe trip, drinkware, cruise, fountain for a garden or the home, swimming adventure like scuba diving or snorkeling, trip to a wishing well or fountain

Twenty-third: air, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Balloons, trip on an airplane or hot air balloon, sky-diving or parachuting trip, something breath-taking or a way to indicate "you take my breath away"

Twenty-fourth: stone, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Pizza or other food cooked on a baking stone, hot stone massage, rock climbing or similar adventure, go out for drinks "on the rocks," visit to a place with stone sculptures, precious stones made into décor or jewelry, stone artwork, a way to indicate "you're my rock," anything given in a stone box

Twenty-fifth: silver (both traditional and modern)
Anything wrapped in silver-colored paper, silver art or jewelry, silver décor or dinnerware

Twenty-sixth: art (both traditional and modern)
Handmade or storebought artwork, trip to an art museum, art classes to take together

Twenty-seventh: music (both traditional and modern)
Playlist of favorite or meaningful music, date to a concert or orchestra, new music equipment (either or listening or making your own), music lessons, a song you composed yourself

Twenty-eighth: linens (both traditional and modern)
New dining linens, new bed linens, a meal out at a fine restaurant, textiles for crafting, handmade linen items

Twenty-ninth: tools  (both traditional and modern)
Tools for any hobby or pastime: crafting, woodworking, cooking, et. al.; working on a project together, using your creativity and talent to create a gift

Thirtieth: pearl or diamond
Décor, art, jewelry, or home goods with pearl or mother-of-pearl; oysters, trip to a beach
Décor, art, jewelry, or home goods with diamond; diamond-tipped tools, trip to a museum with diamonds like the Smithsonian with the Hope Diamond

Thirty-first: travel/tourism (both traditional and modern)
Any trip near or far, items for traveling like new luggage or a travel toiletry set

Thirty-second: bronze (both traditional and modern)
Bronze artwork or décor, bronze jewelry, bronze home goods, bronze-colored clothing or accessories, anything wrapped in bronze paper, history lecture about the bronze age

Thirty-third: iron (both traditional and modern)
Iron décor or home goods, cast iron cookware, hobby items made of iron like golf clubs, a meal together high in iron, history lecture about the iron age

Thirty-fourth: food (both traditional and modern)
Any meal together, whether home or away, elaborate or simple; anything to make food

Thirty-fifth: coral or jade
Trip to a beach (bonus points if it has coral), a seafood meal, anything coral-colored or wrapped in coral-colored paper
A meal at any of the numerous restaurants with "jade" in the name, jade jewelry or décor, anything jade-colored or wrapped in jade-colored paper

Thirty-sixth: antiques (both traditional and modern)
Any vintage piece, décor reflecting important parts of the past, a trip to a place known for antique souvenirs, anything that fits in the theme of "old fashioned" including old fashioned doughnuts or the drink old fashioned

Thirty-seventh: books (both traditional and modern)
Autographed and/or first edition of a favorite book, e-reader, audio book to listen to while on a trip, a story you've written yourself

Thirty-eighth: luck, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Shamrock or lucky penny or other symbol of luck, trip to a casino (as with any gambling trip, agree on an amount of money you're comfortable losing and take only that in cash to avoid temptation)

Thirty-ninth: laughter, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Watch a comedy together, go see a comedian live, tell jokes together, reminisce over happy memories--and get ideas for making more

Fortieth: ruby (both traditional and modern)
Ruby jewelry or artwork or décor, a meal of red-themed foods like red wine and ruby grapefruits, a bouquet of red flowers

Forty-first: office or desk décor (both traditional and modern)
Personalized picture frames or pen holders, computer equipment, stationery

Forty-second: clocks or watches (both traditional and modern)
Personalized/engraved watch, artful wall clock, setting time aside for each other

Forty-third: entertainment, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Take in a movie or a live show, have an entertainment date at home with popcorn and snacks

Forty-fourth: electronics (both traditional and modern)
Replace worn-out electronics or buy the ones you've always wanted, upgrade your electrical outlets or do other needed electrical work, "fun" electronics like digital photo frames or entertainment-themed devices

Forty-fifth: sapphire (both traditional and modern)
Artwork, décor, home goods, or jewelry with sapphire; blues or rhythm-and-blues concert, anything blue-colored or wrapped in blue-colored paper

Forty-sixth: games (both traditional and modern)
Any game to play together, attending a sporting event, a personalized treasure hunt, a murder mystery dinner theater or escape room date

Forty-seventh: garden or plants (both traditional and modern)
Walk through a garden or park, National Parks pass, gardening supplies, houseplants or garden plants or seeds, a bouquet of flowers utilizing flower messages (e.g.; red chrysanthemums symbolize "I love you")

Forty-eighth: home improvement, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Depending on your budget and needs, anything from a new piece of home décor to a remodel--or just spruce up your house with a solid cleaning, either together or from a cleaning service

Forty-ninth: copper (both traditional and modern)
Home goods, tools, décor, jewelry, or artwork made with copper; anything copper-colored or wrapped in copper-colored paper

Fiftieth: gold (both traditional and modern)
Artwork or jewelry made with gold, gold-colored flowers, anything gold-colored or wrapped with gold-colored paper, anything that represents elegance and longevity

Fifty-first: photos or cameras (both traditional and modern)
Scrapbook or collage of treasured memories, professional portraits, a trip together (with a camera) to create memories

Fifty-second: bath or spa, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Anything for a relaxing bath (alone or together) like fancy soap or a good book, spa day, new towels or other bath needs, heated towel rack

Fifty-third: plastic (both traditional and modern)
Just about any item can be made of plastic--including plastic gift cards to a nice restaurant

Fifty-fourth: glass (both traditional and modern)
Home décor, serving pieces, or artwork made of glass

Fifty-fifth: emerald (both traditional and modern)
Jewelry or artwork or décor made with emerald, trip to the Emerald City or Emerald Isle or similarly-named places, watching the Wizard of Oz, green tea, anything green-colored (including money) or wrapped in green paper

Fifty-sixth: day, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Spending a day together, a movie date watching movies with the word "day" in the titles, remember the wonderful days you've had together--and make plans for more good memories

Fifty-seventh: night, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Spending a night together, a movie date watching movies with the word "night" in the titles, a night out, star-gazing, anything for making sleep better

Fifty-eighth: faith and hope, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
If you're religious anything related to your faith will work, anything uplifting, trips to places that inspire faith and hope

Fifty-ninth: charity/love, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Charitable acts you can enjoy together, donations that memorialize your commitment to each other like a donation of a park bench with your names on it

Sixtieth: diamond (both traditional and modern)
Artwork, jewelry, or décor with diamonds     

Sending Gifts Near and Far

 It's nearly the holiday season in 2020. I don't know about you, but I'm not going to be able to have my usual Christmas Eve party with my extended family this year, which means I need to figure out a way to still distribute the presents I want to give. Every year there are a few cousins I don't see in person, but this year none of us will be gathering together. So...how do you make sure someone gets a present when you can't get together?

DROP-OFFS

There might be a variety of reasons beyond a pandemic that prevents you from conducting a normal visit or family event. If you live close, you can still arrange a time to drop off a gift. I'm already plotting out a map for a day's drive around my area dropping off Christmas cookies to my extended family. 

Things to consider when dropping off a gift: will your recipient be home at the time, and is a visit expected? Can you safely leave the gift--does it risk be stolen or ruined by the elements (e.g.; a plant that could freeze)? If your recipient lives in a gated community or apartment building with secure access, will you be able to get in? Is there parking nearby, or adequate mass transit to get you there and back? Do you need to plan for tolls, parking fees, or bus tickets? Does it make more sense to drop off a gift at your recipient's work or another location instead of the home? And finally, a fun one: is there something interesting you can do nearby? My last stop for delivering Christmas cookies this year is near a zoo!

MAILING OPTIONS

I prefer to mail packages through the post office--I find their services the most cost-effective and reliable. Other people prefer UPS, Fedex, or another shipping company. Regardless of how you send a gift, you need to remember a few things. 

First, what are the delivery estimates? Every late November or early December, USPS posts a list of dates which are the last days to send packages for guaranteed delivery by December 25, based on factors like whether the package is going overseas or whether you choose expedited shipping. For packages staying in the same country, I like to send at least a week beforehand, but you can find overnight shipping services with all the package delivery companies--it'll just cost a lot more. If you're sending to another country, especially one in another hemisphere, you'll need to allow more time for things to get to their destinations.

Second, will the present survive the trip? Delicate items need to be packed carefully, with bubble wrap or newspaper or something similar to cushion them on their journeys. Perishable items need to get where they're going before they spoil--some shipping companies allow a few pounds of dry ice in shipments; check their websites for specifics. And make sure you've properly sealed the shipping box! It would be awful if the box popped open during transit.

Third, are the shipping charges within your budget? Planning ahead is helpful here. As long as the gift isn't something that will spoil for a while, if you have it ready several days before you want your recipient to get it, you can send it the slowest (that is, the cheapest) option. If you don't want a surprise amount when it comes time to pay, then flat rate boxes are your friends--and often cheaper than sending the same item priced by weight. Shipping companies offer various insurance plans, too; consider if you want those when mailing. Some are included automatically, some are extra. Either way, keep your receipt and tracking number until you know the gift has arrived safely.

Fourth, is it allowed? Some areas don't allow certain items in the mail. Alcohol is the go-to example; you can't mail it to specific states or countries. When sending agricultural items like home-grown fruits and vegetables or seeds (homegrown or storebought), you'll need to check if there are restrictions meant to curb invasive species and pests. Restrictions like this are more commonly an issue when sending packages from one country to another, but they can also exist within the same country, especially if the country covers a wide geographical area.

And finally, make sure you've written the address clearly. If you're concerned about your handwriting, you can type the address, print it out, and tape that paper to the package; or ask someone with neater handwriting to write it for you (also good if you want it to be a surprise and don't want your recipient to recognize your handwriting). If you're worried about the address getting smeared or otherwise rendered illegible, you can also put a slip of paper inside the box with the address. If the shipping company ends up having to open the package to look for clues of where it goes, your paper will be right there to help the gift get back on track.

COMBINED AND COORDINATED EFFORTS

My brother and I live two thousand miles apart, not exactly an easy drive. But my sister-in-law came up with a convenient way to save on shipping costs: buy online, pick up in store. If they want to get us something, they find it at a business that has an online store, pay for online, and arrange for pick up at the location near me, specifying my name as the pick up person. Then I just go to the pick up desk and collect it. Super easy! In another instance, I moved out of state, and as a going-away present was given a zoo membership in the new state. The family who gave it to me bought it through the zoo's website and printed out the proof of purchase, which I took with me to the zoo on my first visit, and then was given a membership card.

The business doesn't necessarily have to be huge for this to work. Once, my brother wanted to get our dad a gift card to his favorite restaurant, which only has one location run by a husband and wife. I live near it, he's two thousand miles away. My brother called the restaurant, explained the situation, paid for the gift card via credit card over the phone, and I picked it up the next time I was in the area. Considering other restaurants in the past have wanted to charge shipping costs nearly equal to the gift card itself, having the local person pick it up is far more cost-effective! And with the ability to pay over the phone or online, there's no need to remember to pay anyone back. If you're not sure whether paying over the phone or online is an option, call the business and ask. You'd be surprised how much can be done remotely--my best friend was able to pay the adoption fee for a kitten in an animal shelter across the country over the phone, and her friend picked up the cat that day.

You can also coordinate within the same area. In a few weeks when I deliver Christmas cookies, my first stop is a cousin's house. There, I will leave cookies not only for him and his family, but also his dad and his sister, who both live quite a ways away in opposite directions. Going to both their houses would add three to four hours to my day! But he'll see them at Christmas, so he's happy to hang on to those presents for them. In return, I'm going to collect Christmas cookies he and his family have made, and deliver both sets to the rest of my stops that day. And that third family member who lives too far away to pack in to the drive? Both sets of Christmas cookies will fill out a flat rate box easily; they'll get mailed together.

DIRECT FROM THE SOURCE

If you find the perfect gift in a storefront and plan to give it to someone who lives hundreds or thousands of miles away, why not simply have it sent directly from the store to your recipient? It's going to be mailed anyway, so why mail it twice? You can usually specify that you don't want an invoice sent (seeing how much you spent can make recipients feel uncomfortable) and sometimes pay a bit extra for gift wrapping, too. Just be sure to warn your recipient that a package is arriving! 

This is especially a great option for gift recipients in other countries. It can take a while for a package to cross oceans and continents. If you're looking for a gift for someone far away, check local businesses to see if you can shorten the shipping time by purchasing from a store the next town over instead of half a world away.

A word of caution when ordering online: make sure you're purchasing from a legitimate and trusted website, and that your financial information is secure. A product might be an unusually low price on a website you've never heard of because it's being sold on a scam website, or isn't as advertised (e.g.; maybe it's a doll-size dress instead of an adult-sized one). Check your credit card, bank, Paypal, or similar statements for unauthorized use often, and report any instances of fraud. 

Whatever your plans this holiday season, have fun and stay safe! Here's hoping that this time next year will be far less stressful.

Goody Bags, Party Favors, and Other Gifts for Multiple People

Some events call for multiples of gifts, whether as a thank you for coming or as part of the event itself. In general, consumables are a good idea, although if it's food you do need to be considerate of allergies and other dietary restrictions. If you're aiming for more of a keepsake, small is best. You'll need to take into consideration your budget, your audience, and your time.

CONSUMABLES

I have literally dozens of aunts, uncles, and cousins, and I see many of them during the holidays. Buying them all individual gifts would bankrupt me, and making the same by hand would take all year (not to mention the cost of supplies). Instead, I bake three or four varieties of cookies, double or triple batches of each. Each family gets a bag of cookies from me without my needing to take out a loan or spend more than part of a few days baking. Some of them give bags of their own homemade cookies, breads, candies, or jams. Other people I know make vanilla extract (this takes a few months; plan ahead), brownies, fudge, snack mixes, home-brewed beer or other alcohol, small cakes, applesauce, nut butters, spaghetti sauce, spice mixes, home-roasted coffee beans, and even honey from their beehives. You can also put together dry ingredients for baked goods. And of course, there are myriad store bought food treats, often ones made locally.

You do have to be mindful of dietary restrictions. For example, one of my cousins is allergic to peanuts, so I don't add peanuts to any cookies and I don't make peanut butter cookies (for her, other nuts are fine so I can still use almond extract or other nuts). If you don't know the recipients well, in the case of an office party for example, food might not be best. You also need to be sure whatever you give will be okay without refrigeration for at least a few hours. One way around potential food restrictions for a crowd is something like a candy bar. When my brother got married, the wedding favors were organza bags we could fill with our choice of a variety of his and my sister-in-law's favorite candies. At a different wedding, the candy bar was every kind of blue candy the bride and groom could find, as the wedding colors were navy and sky blue. Both times the treats were great for the plane ride home.

Some events give away plants and seeds. While not quite consumable, these are fun for those who have the space to grow them. They're also easy to tailor to the occasion: pots painted in seasonal colors, some of the same flowers as in the wedding bouquets, plants that represent the occasion, that sort of thing.

Other consumables include candles, soap, lotion, sugar scrubs, lip balm, and stationery. As with food gifts, any of these can be store bought or handmade, and you need to be aware of allergies. They don't need to be fancy either, especially if your recipients are more practical. Some years my grandparents have given us simple toiletries like shampoo and shaving cream (with some cash, being grandparents) and it always gets used.

GIFT CARDS

If you have the budget, gift cards in $5-10 denominations are good. The standard is coffee shops, but you don't need to limit yourselves to that. Bakeries, specialty grocery stores, online music services, ice cream stores--as long as your recipients can actually get something for $5 or $10, it can work. One Christmas, a cousin of mine passed out Redbox gift cards with packets of microwave popcorn. 

If you know your recipients would appreciate donations given in their names, you can also pass out notes acknowledging such. One wedding I attended recently had notecards at each table setting stating that in lieu of wedding favors the bride and groom, who had both lost their mothers to cancer, had made a donation to the American Cancer Society. Especially with as extravagant as the wedding and reception was, I thought the donation was far more touching than wedding favor to take home.

KEEPSAKES AND TOKENS

There are a variety of choices for small gifts, some better than others. The issue with gifts meant to be kept is that it's impossible to cater to everyone's tastes. With consumables, people who get something they don't like don't feel as obligated to keep it.

Christmas ornaments are an obvious choice for Christmas parties, and most people aren't too selective about what goes on their trees. Other decorative or household items can be more versatile, like prisms or sun catchers, paper weights, drink coasters, fridge magnets, pins, kitchen accessories, and knick-knacks. Some of these can be handmade, like knit washcloths, sewn hot pads, etched glass coasters, and so on.

If the event is for a specific activity, it's easier to pick out an appropriate favor. For example, a sewing club party could pass out sewing notions; a garden club might give away plant starts. 

For kids' birthday parties, the usual fare seems to be a bag of small plastic toys. I'm not a fan of those myself, as my kids have too many of those already. Goody bags we've found easier to enjoy include more useful items like pencils or other school supplies, a single larger toy, treats like a few cookies or some candy from a piñata, or things that get used up like bubbles and stickers. But don't feel limited to those; feel free to be creative. My brother's birthday is Halloween, so every year his party guests would trick-or-treat. Our parents figured the kids didn't need more candy, especially since they also got birthday cake...so the party favors were toothbrushes and floss! 

If You are an Artist, You Can Make...

Being able to create art is a wonderful talent, and a great way to make personalized and customized gifts. There are myriad possibilities.

HOME DECOR

Provided you know your recipient's tastes well enough, a piece of framed artwork is a lovely addition to a home. It's also a fun way to celebrate major milestones, like new babies or weddings. One of my mom's friends works drawing houses for a real estate company; when my older brother got married she drew professional pictures of his and his wife's childhood homes. One of my aunts is a professional photographer, and she's put together some inspiring pictures of family members, landscapes, and even one series of plants--may sound odd, but they're beautiful. 

If you're unsure quite what would be best, you could also offer your services to paint a family portrait or something similar. Explain you'd love to make something, but you want to be sure it fits with your recipient's aesthetic. Be prepared for some people to decline (politely, I hope).

Lots of people like inspirational quotes and images; if you have talent in graphic design, calligraphy, or wood-working this could be a good avenue for you. I have a few friends who make gorgeous home decor like this. 

If your talent leans more toward three dimensional pieces, decorative bowls, vases, candle holders, frames, paperweights, coasters, or other such items work well. Small boxes or bowls to hold things like keys, jewelry, and coins are useful and easy to store. If your items are more utilitarian, make sure your recipient knows that, for example, the plate can safely hold food without leeching anything into food, and how to care for it (handwashing vs dishwasher, proper kinds of soap). Little trinkets like prisms, whose primary purpose is to be beautiful, are also good ideas.

OUTDOOR ITEMS

A family moving to a new house might appreciate a handmade address sign, stepping stones, decorated planting pots, wind chimes, bird feeder, or garden sculpture. Of course, be sure your recipient knows the pieces are safe for the outdoor weather, and take a moment to think about the climate and any pets who might try to chew on something.

OTHER IDEAS

You might be able to craft toys or even board games for children, or make a piece reflecting the child's favorite animal or hobby. You might even be able to illustrate a short book. For babies, perhaps a piece to help parents mark milestones like the first time a baby sits up, smiles, crawls, etc.

I have a few family members who make stationery. Whether made with rubber stamps, graphic design programs, found items like pressed flowers, individual drawings and paintings, homemade paper, other card cut into collage pieces, or anything in between, they're useful and beautiful.

Throwing a Wedding Shower

Not everyone marks weddings with showers, but if someone close to you (it's generally frowned upon to throw your own shower) is engaged and you feel like celebrating, here are some pointers:

TIMELINE

Generally, showers I’ve hosted go like this:

First hour:
Guests arrive
Socializing/snacking
Maybe a game to break the ice and/or introductions if people don’t know each other (If there are a lot of people who don’t know each other, get the “formal” part of the party started by having guests introduce themselves by how they know the bride. "I’m Sally, I’ve known Jane since high school." "I’m Mary, Jane’s aunt.")

Second hour:
Open presents
Maybe another game
More socializing and snacking as people gradually leave

WHO TO INVITE

Showers are traditionally events for women, although co-ed showers exist, and the guests of honor may well not include women at all. For the stereotypical female-only shower, think about inviting mothers, grandmothers, sisters/-in-law, aunts and cousins, and friends. If men are also invited, extend the list appropriately: fathers, grandfathers, etc. (Of course, not everyone has a good relationship with their families; you should exclude people who are abusive)

Ask the guest of honor for a list, and suggest these to start. I say that because I asked a friend for an invite list for her bridal shower and we both forgot to invite her fiance’s mother! As to whether you should invite men as well; check with you guest of honor. Only invite people who have been invited to the wedding, with some exception for destination weddings, as fewer people can make it.

Send out the invitations about a month in advance, after clearing the date with the guest of honor. Make sure to send one to your guest of honor as well--imagine the bride-to-be not knowing when or where to show up! Of course, you will want to be keeping her in the dark for a surprise shower, but think carefully before doing that. A surprise shower means that she won't be able to remind to invite her godmother or tell you that her aunt is allergic to chocolate; she won't be prepared for being the center of attention, she might have other plans, and she won't be dressed for the occasion. If she's really hoping for a shower and never hears any plans for one, she might feel forgotten before she realizes the surprise. Some people love surprise parties, but unless you're sure, don't risk it.

GAMES 

Have two to three games IF the bride wants them. If you play games, have prizes for the winner. Remember, neither the guest of honor nor the host can win, although they can play. Easy prizes include soap, lotion, $5 coffee gift cards, fancy candles, a set of blank note cards (for writing letters or for taking notes), a set of small rubber stamps, that sort of thing. Don't forget to account for ties.

The best games don't interrupt the flow of the party. Gift bingo is good, or you can have a timer go off every three minutes or so during gift opening (the giver of the gift being opened “wins”), especially if there are a lot of gifts. Or give everyone a safety pin and set a rule like “no crossing your hands” or “no elbows on the table” and anyone who catches another guest “breaking” a rule gets that person’s safety pin; the guest with the most after X time wins.

I’ve also done a game with extreme close-up pictures of wedding-related things, like a diamond seen through an electron scanning microscope; guests are to guess what the pictures are of (word bank optional). 

Another game is setting out common kitchen items on a tray, like salad tongs, a spatula, a dishcloth and letting the group observe it for a few minutes. Then hide it and whoever can write down the most items wins.

You can also fill a toasting flute with small candies and whoever guesses the amount closest wins (and wins the candy--have a bag ready if you don't want to part with the flute).

FAVORS

Showers typically have little favors. Consumables are best (lotions, soap, candies, candles). I’ve knitted up dishcloths in wedding colors; those go over well. Flower seeds or seedlings are good too, especially if they're of flowers that will be at the wedding. If the wedding is near Christmas and the attendees celebrate it, you can get one-inch diameter ornaments at places like Michaels and paint them in the wedding colors.

FOOD 

What sort of food? Go for brunch if it’s around 11:00 (fruit, donuts, quiches; that sort of thing) or light snacks for an afternoon party (cheese and cracker platter, cut vegetables, etc). If you don’t plan it for a meal time, you won’t have to serve a full meal.

Serve dessert while the guest of honor is opening presents. Have someone keep a list of who gives what. You can get or make thank you notes or postcards, stamped and addressed (don’t have the other guests address the envelopes themselves, it will be Talked About), so that all guest of honor has to do is write “Thanks for the X; we'll think of you when we use it!”

Gifts for: a Wedding

Of course, your best bet for a wedding gift is something from the registry. I know some people feel registries are impersonal, tacky, or even selfish, but they're very useful. A wedding invitation isn't a demand for a gift, or even an appearance (rare boorish cases aside). People getting married want to celebrate, and people excited for them tend to want to give gifts. Registries are great for ensuring you buy what the couple can use and enjoy, and to avoid duplicate gifts. But some couples don't use registries, and sometimes you might want to add a personal touch

STOREBOUGHT

If nothing on the registry stands out to you, a gift card to the store is a good idea. Most places that offer registries also have a completion discount, providing the newly-weds a discount on any unpurchased items after the wedding. Cash is good for this too. One of my uncles, having already given us use of his and my aunt's beach-front house for a honeymoon weekend, handed me a stack of bills at the reception, for "gas money"--almost three times what the fuel actually cost. We were very grateful.

In general, gift cards can be useful. Not just to housewares stores either; grocery stores, home improvement stores, restaurants, or for places or events you know the couple likes. 

If you know what the couple likes to do, or where they're going on their honeymoon, you can buy something to facilitate that. Foreign currency for a trip abroad, money for exotic vaccines before overseas travel, a collage picture frame or photo album, tickets to an event, passes for an attraction like a museum, zoo, or sports event--something to help them enjoy their time together.

For couples who are setting up their first home together, housewares are certainly appreciated. If there's no registry to guide you, buying things intended to match, like plates, is tricky. But individual serving platters or bowls or seasonal hand towels or other "one at a time" items could work. For one of my cousins, I found a set of drinking glasses with the logo of her and her husband's favorite sports team: they would like it, and it wouldn't matter if they didn't match their place settings because they were more of a novelty items. Include a gift receipt just in case.

You can also make up a gift basket to stock up a pantry (flour, sugar, etc), bathroom (soap, lotion, shampoo), first aid kit, cleaning supplies; or something more fun like a date night.

HANDMADE

In general, I prefer to make small things as accents to registry items. When I was invited to a wedding last summer, I bought some towels from the registry, green and brown, and knit washcloths to compliment them.

Similarly, my mom often knits seven dishcloths, one for each day of the week, and puts them inside a baking dish bought from the registry. Or adds potholders, embroidered towels, and other kitchen goodies.

There are a lot of things you can add to wedding gifts. Think of what you can make that can be used in a home: picture frames, kitchen utensils, throw pillows, decor, etc. Maybe even a handmade card.

The groom loves dinosaurs. I drew the scales by writing their initials over and over.

And decorated these toys to be a bride and groom.

When someone close to me is getting married, I do a bit more, usually to the tune of a knit blanket in the wedding colors. We got one from a family member embroidered with our wedding date, and still have it over a decade later, so I like to give blankets too. One friend in particular had been through rough patch and things finally started looking up for her. I felt like spoiling her a bit, so I made a blanket in the wedding colors, plus dishcloths, pillowcases embroidered with the wedding date, and bought two registry items in the wedding colors.

They use the decorative box to hold sentimental things.

The point of a wedding gift is to show the couple that you're excited for them and want them to have a happy life together. Keep that in mind, and you'll find the inspiration you need.