Gifts for Pets and Pet Owners

 If you're giving gifts to someone with a pet, it can be fun to include the animal as well. Any pet store will of course have a multitude of toys and treats, and many grocery stores or supermarkets will as well. There are also myriad craft ideas online for inspiration!

TREATS

As with people, you need to be aware of allergies and intolerances for any edible gift. Also remember that many things people eat aren't good for animals. Most people know that dogs and cats can't eat chocolate, but fewer know that garlic, onion, and grapes are also verboten. Less commonly-kept animals, like fish, reptiles, amphibians, birds, small mammals, and invertebrates have restrictions as well, and with most exotic pets being smaller than dogs and cats, smaller amounts of dangerous foods pose risk (the dose makes the poison). Larger animals like livestock can eat a lot of things out of the garden, but potatoes and rhododendrons are dangerous to them; horses are especially known for having delicate digestive systems. Other foods to watch out for include ones that contain xylitol (often found in sugar-free gum and peanut butter) or large pits and seeds like avocado (choking hazard), alcohol, coffee, tea, stems and leaves of potatoes and tomatoes, rhubarb leaves, mustard and apple seeds, macadamia nuts, walnuts, yeast dough, mushrooms, and foods with excessive fat, sugar, or salt. Especially for exotics, look up information specific to the species. Once you know you have a safe food in mind, run it past the pet owner to check for allergies.

Of course, there are lots of treats available at stores. If you have the time and ingredients, you can also make your own! Here are a few recipes:

Dog Treats

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Mix together 2 1/4 whole wheat cups flour, 1/2 cup powdered milk, 1 egg, 1/2 cup vegetable oil, 3/4 cup beef bouillon or beef stock, and 1 tbsp packed brown sugar until well blended. Roll out dough onto floured surface and cut into dog bone shapes (or whatever shape you want). Bake for 30 minutes, cool on rack, and store in airtight container. Makes about 30-40 treats.

Cat Treats

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix together 12 oz canned tuna, 1 egg, and 1 whole wheat cup flour. Form dough into small balls (cat-treat sized) and place on baking sheet. Bake for 20 minutes until slightly browned. Let cool for at least ten minutes before offering to cat.

Recipes for reptiles, small rodents, herbivores like rabbits, carnivores like ferrets, and birds can be found at this great site: https://avianandexoticvets.com/recipes and some of my favorites are below.

Supercharged Salad (for reptiles)

Combine 1/2 c shredded raw green beans, 1/2 cup shredded raw pumpkin (or other orange-fleshed squash), 1 medium shredded raw parsnip, 1/4 cup minced raw melon, 1/4 cup raw diced carrot, and 1/2 cup alfalfa rabbit pellets (soaked in water to soften). Dust with multivitamin or calcium powder meant for reptiles.

Rodent Rhapsody (for mice, rats, cavies, etc)

Slice one baby carrot or small carrot stick so it can lay flat on a surface. Carefully scoop out a middle portion of the carrot, making it like a long shallow dish. Fill cavity with peanut butter, cream cheese, or other similarly-textured rodent-safe spread. "Plant" small rodent-safe treats like Cheerios or seeds in the cavity.

Raspberry Cookies (for rabbits or chinchillas)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mash 1/3 cup frozen raspberries, mix in 1-2 tbsp chopped fresh mint. Crush or grind 1/3 cup timothy hay-based rabbit pellets and 1 cup Weetabix cereal (do not use a coffee grinder that has been used for coffee; the coffee remnants will contaminate the pellets). Add dry ingredients to raspberry mixture and mix thoroughly. Drop by teaspoon onto parchment-paper lined baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes or until browned on the bottom. 

If the idea of making food is too intimidating, you can do a semi-homemade treat for hot summer months: simply freeze some store-bought treats you already know are safe in a bowl. The result is a large ice cube that the animal will have to lick or nibble to free the treats from, providing a refreshing drink and some mental stimulation. For warmer months, you can drill holes in a length of plastic pipe (be wary with gnaw-happy animals like rodents; they might eat the pipe) just the right size for treats to fall through--the animal will have to worry the pipe to get the treats out.

TOYS

When I was about six years old, I found an old tennis ball while out on a walk with my family. I took it home, wrapped it, and gave to our dog for Christmas. You don't have to wait for serendipity to provide you with a toy--most stores have dog and cat toys readily available, and it isn't too difficult to find toys for birds and small mammals. Pet stores and veterinary offices will cover more exotic animals.

You can also make toys. My kids have sewn little catnip pouches out of charm squares, stuffing them loosely with cotton and adding in a tablespoon or two of catnip. You could also knit a small ball, or attach some ribbon to a stick--just be sure any string, thread, yarn, or ribbon is very firmly attached, as cats are prone to eating loose string which can become tangled in their intestines. Another idea is stacking together cardboard pieces into a scratching post.

A worn-out t-shirt, towel, or pair of jeans can be cut and braided into a tug-of-war or chew toy for a dog. A rubber ball (big enough to not be a choking hazard) can be tied in an old sock. If you're really feeling creative about an idea for a high-energy dog, you can make a few obstacles for the dog to jump over or through!

Small animals like rodents, fish, reptiles, amphibians, and invertebrates like places to hide and to climb. A little cave can be fun to decorate, provided you use materials that are safe for the animal. Rodents are known for chewing, amphibians absorb a lot through their skin, pine wood naturally contains oils that are dangerous for hermit crabs, water can dissolve toxins...be careful.

BEDS

Similar to small animals liking places to hide, animals like a comfortable place to sleep. Dog and cat beds aren't difficult to sew, knit, or crochet, though they can be time-consuming depending on the size of the animal. For cats and rodents especially, be aware of loose string or parts that can become loose with chewing: you don't want the pet to choke or get intestinal blockages. 

I knitted and felted the the bowl-shaped bed he's sitting in,
and helped my kids strip-quilt the blanket. (The fancy tuna was for his birthday.)

CLOTHES

Usually, pets don't really need--or want--clothes. But if an animal often accompanies its owner outdoors in inclement weather, a coat or booties (to protect paws from cold and from thawing chemicals that are used to melt snow and ice on roadways) might be warranted. Dogs are more likely that other pets to need accommodations like this, as most other pets either stay indoors or are bred to be outside (like livestock). If you have a friend who likes hiking with a dog, maybe the dog needs a raincoat--or a collapsible bowl for food and water!

FOR THE OWNERS

When I got my first dog as an adult (I had one as a kid, but my parents did most of the work), one of my aunts gave me a year's subscription to The Bark magazine, and a friend gave me a book about training scent hounds.

Because she's a redbone coonhound.
(I swear we didn't notice the sign until we looked at the picture later.)

If a pet owner is going out of town or is injured and you're willing and able to help out, you might offer to care for a pet for a time. Remember that some pets need much more attention and care than others, so don't commit if you can't do it. 

How does the pet owner show love for the pet? Some people might like books or movies related to animals like the memoirs by James Herriot, some might like household decorations, or jewelry, or calendars or artwork featuring their favorite creatures. Maybe a donation to a rescue group devoted to particular animals will be meaningful (especially in memory of a pet). If you see something that makes you think of a friend's beloved pet, go for it!

Gifts for Anniversaries

 Anniversaries are a great way to mark partners' commitments to each other. While the people celebrating the anniversary usually know each other well enough to find the right way to mark to occasion, it can be useful or fun to look to lists of "traditional gifts" for the different anniversaries, and brainstorm from there. As with any event when people exchange gifts with each other, the critical part is that all parties agree on the type and level of commemoration: whether everyone agrees to an exorbitant and opulent celebration, a small and intimate private function, or no acknowledgement at all--it's all good.

There are non-traditional ideas too. For example, items made in the year you were married (or when your relationship started) like wine or coins minted that year: give a penny for your first anniversary, a nickel for your fifth, and so on. Take a trip to a place that was special early in your relationship, or somewhere you've always wanted to go. Enjoy a recreation of the first meal you shared together. Set aside time to look through mementos of the time you've spent together. You can throw a party to celebrate with people important to you, or have an intimate evening alone. A vow renewal can be a lavish event or a few minutes set aside after a standard religious ceremony--I've attended both, the latter only because I happened to go to church that day, and both versions are touching. You can (several months in advance) request anniversary greetings from heads of state in some countries--check the relevant office's website for information on how to request a letter of congratulations.

First: Paper (traditional) or clocks (modern)
Books, letters, origami or other paper crafts, printed tickets to an event, stationery, magazine subscription
Promise of time--commit to spending time doing something with your partner

Second: Cotton or china
Anything sewn or otherwise handmade out of cotton; clothing, bedding, etc
Fancy meal on fine china dishes--either at home or a restaurant

Third: Leather or crystal/glass
Jewelry, clothing, accessories, shoes, etc made of leather
Personalized glassware, wine-tasting trip

Fourth: Fruit or flowers; or appliances
Plant a garden or fruit tree together, enjoy local produce at a farmer's market or locavore store, make a meal of local foods
Shop together for needed replacements, find useful accessories for current appliances, use current appliances for something you both enjoy (e.g.; cooking a nice meal)

Fifth: Wood or silverware
Buy or make a sculpture or home décor, take a trip to forest or museum that features wooden art, play a game with wooden pieces like Jenga, build something together
Enjoy a fancy meal with the "good" silver

Sixth: Candy or iron; wood
Candy bouquets, homemade candy, gourmet sweets; iron décor or garden art, tools
Buy or make a sculpture or home décor, take a trip to forest or museum that features wooden art, play a game with wooden pieces like Jenga, build something together

Seventh: Wool or copper; desk sets
Storebought or handmade wool clothing or accessories, wool craft supplies, a trip to the countryside or a farm (or if you already live on one, do you want a new sheep?); copper décor, cooking supplies, garden art, or tools
Monogrammed stationery, fancy pen or even an inkwell with a feather pen, computer accessories or upgrades

Eighth: Pottery or bronze; linen or lace
Storebought or handmade pottery for the kitchen, garden, or for décor; bronze tools or art
Table linens with monograms or other personalized touches, new clothing or accessories, décor

Ninth: Willow or pottery; leather
Storebought or handmade pottery for the kitchen, garden, or for décor; pooden furniture, walk through a forest or arboretum, woven basket filled with...anything! 
Jewelry, clothing, accessories, shoes, etc made of leather

Tenth: Tin or aluminum; diamond jewelry
Tins of gourmet food, homemade food wrapped in foil, trip to places where tin or aluminum souvenirs are made, equipment or tools made of tin or aluminum (lower-priced bicycles are often made of aluminum; perhaps a biking trip), metal container to hold...anything!
The obvious like rings, earrings, bracelets, and necklaces--or art or décor

Eleventh: Steel or fashion jewelry
Stainless steel kitchen supplies or tools, artwork, car accessories or a car trip
Jewelry for a night out, jewelry fashioned into artwork or décor

Twelfth: Silk or linen; pearls
Silk undergarments/lingerie, silk bedding, silk outergarments like ties or shawls, personalized linens
Jewelry, art, or décor with pearl or mother-of-pearl inlay; oysters, trip to a beach

Thirteenth: Lace, textiles
Lace lingerie or other clothing, lace-trimmed décor, "laced-up" shoes for a walk, anything wrapped in lacey doilies, lace-looking treats like delicate cookies
Monogrammed or otherwise personalized home décor, new clothing or other fabric-based home needs, shopping trip, fabric for crafts

Fourteenth: Ivory, gold jewelry 
Of course, it's best to avoid actual ivory as it should stay on the animals it comes from--but perhaps a trip to wildlife refuge or zoo or museum where the animals are found (ivory comes not only from elephants, but other animals including walruses, narwhals, and elk, plus extinct animals like mammoths and mastodons), or a trip to a concert hall, or to a museum that has ancient artwork is in order.
Aside from the usual jewelry like rings, earrings, bracelets, necklaces, and watches, gold can be made into artwork and décor.

Fifteenth: Crystal, watches
Jewelry, décor, vases, stemware, a meal at a fancy restaurant, artwork
Any time-keeping instrument, or a gift of time

Sixteenth: Coffee or tea (both traditional and modern)
Matching mugs, date to a coffee/tea shop, fancy brew, coffee/tea making machines or accessories, treats that go with the drinks (or other drinks like hot chocolate if coffee and tea aren't your...cup of tea)

Seventeenth: Wine and spirits (both traditional and modern)
Date to a nice bar, wine-tasting, tour of a brewery or winery, bottle of high-end alcohol (or other drinks like sparkling cider if alcohol isn't wanted or appropriate), picnic lunch with a toast

Eighteenth: Appliances (both traditional and modern)
Shop together for needed replacements, find useful accessories for current appliances, use current appliances for something you both enjoy (e.g.; cooking a nice meal)

Nineteenth: Jade (both traditional and modern)
Meal at any of the numerous restaurants with "jade" in the name, jade jewelry or art, jade-colored clothing or other items, bonsai jade tree, trip to a place where jade is a popular souvenir item

Twentieth: China, platinum
New dishes (especially if after two decades, yours need replacing), personalized dishes, figurines or other décor made of china
Art, jewelry, or décor made of platinum; music from a "platinum" record

Twenty-first: fire, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Candle-lit dinner, date around a fire pit or at an open-flame grill, barbecue tools or foods, trip to see fire-related things like volcanos

Twenty-second: water, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Visit to an aquarium or natural body of water like a lake or ocean, kayaking or canoe trip, drinkware, cruise, fountain for a garden or the home, swimming adventure like scuba diving or snorkeling, trip to a wishing well or fountain

Twenty-third: air, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Balloons, trip on an airplane or hot air balloon, sky-diving or parachuting trip, something breath-taking or a way to indicate "you take my breath away"

Twenty-fourth: stone, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Pizza or other food cooked on a baking stone, hot stone massage, rock climbing or similar adventure, go out for drinks "on the rocks," visit to a place with stone sculptures, precious stones made into décor or jewelry, stone artwork, a way to indicate "you're my rock," anything given in a stone box

Twenty-fifth: silver (both traditional and modern)
Anything wrapped in silver-colored paper, silver art or jewelry, silver décor or dinnerware

Twenty-sixth: art (both traditional and modern)
Handmade or storebought artwork, trip to an art museum, art classes to take together

Twenty-seventh: music (both traditional and modern)
Playlist of favorite or meaningful music, date to a concert or orchestra, new music equipment (either or listening or making your own), music lessons, a song you composed yourself

Twenty-eighth: linens (both traditional and modern)
New dining linens, new bed linens, a meal out at a fine restaurant, textiles for crafting, handmade linen items

Twenty-ninth: tools  (both traditional and modern)
Tools for any hobby or pastime: crafting, woodworking, cooking, et. al.; working on a project together, using your creativity and talent to create a gift

Thirtieth: pearl or diamond
Décor, art, jewelry, or home goods with pearl or mother-of-pearl; oysters, trip to a beach
Décor, art, jewelry, or home goods with diamond; diamond-tipped tools, trip to a museum with diamonds like the Smithsonian with the Hope Diamond

Thirty-first: travel/tourism (both traditional and modern)
Any trip near or far, items for traveling like new luggage or a travel toiletry set

Thirty-second: bronze (both traditional and modern)
Bronze artwork or décor, bronze jewelry, bronze home goods, bronze-colored clothing or accessories, anything wrapped in bronze paper, history lecture about the bronze age

Thirty-third: iron (both traditional and modern)
Iron décor or home goods, cast iron cookware, hobby items made of iron like golf clubs, a meal together high in iron, history lecture about the iron age

Thirty-fourth: food (both traditional and modern)
Any meal together, whether home or away, elaborate or simple; anything to make food

Thirty-fifth: coral or jade
Trip to a beach (bonus points if it has coral), a seafood meal, anything coral-colored or wrapped in coral-colored paper
A meal at any of the numerous restaurants with "jade" in the name, jade jewelry or décor, anything jade-colored or wrapped in jade-colored paper

Thirty-sixth: antiques (both traditional and modern)
Any vintage piece, décor reflecting important parts of the past, a trip to a place known for antique souvenirs, anything that fits in the theme of "old fashioned" including old fashioned doughnuts or the drink old fashioned

Thirty-seventh: books (both traditional and modern)
Autographed and/or first edition of a favorite book, e-reader, audio book to listen to while on a trip, a story you've written yourself

Thirty-eighth: luck, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Shamrock or lucky penny or other symbol of luck, trip to a casino (as with any gambling trip, agree on an amount of money you're comfortable losing and take only that in cash to avoid temptation)

Thirty-ninth: laughter, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Watch a comedy together, go see a comedian live, tell jokes together, reminisce over happy memories--and get ideas for making more

Fortieth: ruby (both traditional and modern)
Ruby jewelry or artwork or décor, a meal of red-themed foods like red wine and ruby grapefruits, a bouquet of red flowers

Forty-first: office or desk décor (both traditional and modern)
Personalized picture frames or pen holders, computer equipment, stationery

Forty-second: clocks or watches (both traditional and modern)
Personalized/engraved watch, artful wall clock, setting time aside for each other

Forty-third: entertainment, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Take in a movie or a live show, have an entertainment date at home with popcorn and snacks

Forty-fourth: electronics (both traditional and modern)
Replace worn-out electronics or buy the ones you've always wanted, upgrade your electrical outlets or do other needed electrical work, "fun" electronics like digital photo frames or entertainment-themed devices

Forty-fifth: sapphire (both traditional and modern)
Artwork, décor, home goods, or jewelry with sapphire; blues or rhythm-and-blues concert, anything blue-colored or wrapped in blue-colored paper

Forty-sixth: games (both traditional and modern)
Any game to play together, attending a sporting event, a personalized treasure hunt, a murder mystery dinner theater or escape room date

Forty-seventh: garden or plants (both traditional and modern)
Walk through a garden or park, National Parks pass, gardening supplies, houseplants or garden plants or seeds, a bouquet of flowers utilizing flower messages (e.g.; red chrysanthemums symbolize "I love you")

Forty-eighth: home improvement, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Depending on your budget and needs, anything from a new piece of home décor to a remodel--or just spruce up your house with a solid cleaning, either together or from a cleaning service

Forty-ninth: copper (both traditional and modern)
Home goods, tools, décor, jewelry, or artwork made with copper; anything copper-colored or wrapped in copper-colored paper

Fiftieth: gold (both traditional and modern)
Artwork or jewelry made with gold, gold-colored flowers, anything gold-colored or wrapped with gold-colored paper, anything that represents elegance and longevity

Fifty-first: photos or cameras (both traditional and modern)
Scrapbook or collage of treasured memories, professional portraits, a trip together (with a camera) to create memories

Fifty-second: bath or spa, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Anything for a relaxing bath (alone or together) like fancy soap or a good book, spa day, new towels or other bath needs, heated towel rack

Fifty-third: plastic (both traditional and modern)
Just about any item can be made of plastic--including plastic gift cards to a nice restaurant

Fifty-fourth: glass (both traditional and modern)
Home décor, serving pieces, or artwork made of glass

Fifty-fifth: emerald (both traditional and modern)
Jewelry or artwork or décor made with emerald, trip to the Emerald City or Emerald Isle or similarly-named places, watching the Wizard of Oz, green tea, anything green-colored (including money) or wrapped in green paper

Fifty-sixth: day, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Spending a day together, a movie date watching movies with the word "day" in the titles, remember the wonderful days you've had together--and make plans for more good memories

Fifty-seventh: night, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Spending a night together, a movie date watching movies with the word "night" in the titles, a night out, star-gazing, anything for making sleep better

Fifty-eighth: faith and hope, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
If you're religious anything related to your faith will work, anything uplifting, trips to places that inspire faith and hope

Fifty-ninth: charity/love, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Charitable acts you can enjoy together, donations that memorialize your commitment to each other like a donation of a park bench with your names on it

Sixtieth: diamond (both traditional and modern)
Artwork, jewelry, or décor with diamonds     

Gifts for Little Celebrations Throughout the Year

Most people celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and some sort of gift-giving occasion like Christmas. There are other smaller celebrations you might feel like marking, if only for the excuse of giving someone a present. There are days to celebrate just about any kind of food, profession, animal, plant, condition, cause, and person you can think of; plus nearly every day is the feast day of at least one saint who will the patron of at least one thing. If you feel like you want a reason to give a gift, look up what celebrations are coming up or when different topics are celebrate. Below are some ideas and a few celebrations that stood out to me for various reasons.

GENERAL IDEAS

Candy, baked goods, and other food gifts can easily be tailored to different holidays: green sprinkles for St. Patrick's Day, a pie made with tree fruit for Arbor Day, hot dogs for National Hot Dog Day (like I said in the first paragraph, sometimes you just want an excuse to celebrate something). The food can be ready-made, done except for icing and decorations (cookies are great for this), a jar of dry ingredients, a special dinner, a recipe, baking forms to make specially-shaped foods, gift certificates to restaurants with food the event is celebrating...you get the idea. Here are links to food days, food weeks, and food months.

If navigating food allergies, intolerances, and restrictions is too difficult, as with my job at a school district, it's not difficult to find themed items like pencils, seeds, erasers, candles, notepads, coloring pages, bouncy balls, stamps, puzzles, figures, and other little toys--glow sticks are especially nice for events when people will be out after dark, like Halloween. Dollar stores and Oriental Trading Company are great resources. A simple "thinking of you" call, text, or card is great for the multitude of days devoted to various professions--if you're close with the person, maybe something bigger. A donation to a relevant charity, perhaps in the name of someone whose cause it is, works wells on the many days devoted to different causes.

Depending on how many people you're giving to, you might be able to make things other than food. They can be simple--last Valentine's day, I threaded ribbons through small heart-shaped beads and wrote "I Love Reading" on them to pass out to the kids at school--or elaborate, like handmade decorations in the theme of the celebration. You can make or buy little pins with your country's flag or other national symbols for independence days and similar celebrations. Soaps and candles can be made in many shapes and themes, and woodworking, metalworking, glassblowing, and textile arts such as knitting, embroidery, sewing, and crocheting also lend themselves to small or large decorations, from little suncatchers to paperweights to wall hangings to table runners to serving bowls.

CELEBRATIONS THROUGHOUT THE YEAR
just a sampling--there are a lot!

January
National Soup Month: decorated bowls or spoons, soup mixes (handmade or storebought)
1-7 Diet Resolution Week: a note of encouragement
8-14 Letter Writing Week: stationery set, postage stamps (standard or customized)
1 New Year's Day: small poppers or (legal) fireworks
1 Hangover Day: water and painkillers, your favorite "cure-all" (only for people you KNOW would be amused)
2 Science Fiction Day: see if someone wants to join you for a movie marathon, especially if the genre is new to you
3 Women Rock! Day: send something to an important woman in your life to let her know you care
5 Bird Day: put out some seed or other food for local birds, get pictures for bird-loving friends
6 World War Orphans Day: do something to help orphans, maybe in the name of someone you know
11 Clean off Your Desk Day: offer company, moral support, or help to someone you know wants to get organized; surprise your housemates or spouse with cleaning out an area you've been meaning to
11 Secret Pal Day: find someone who needs a pick-me-up, and let your imagination go wild--but stay secret!
13 Rubber Ducky Day: do something for the Little Yellow Duck Project
19 Good Memory Day: reach out to a friend or family member to recollect something fun you did together, or make or find a memento of it
Last Saturday in January Seed Swap Day: share your garden

February
3 Painters' Day: if you know a painter, give art supplies; if you are a painter, give artwork
4 Letter Carrier Appreciation Day: leave a snack out for your letter carrier
6 Pay a Compliment Day: get in touch with people who need to hear they're appreciated
7 Send a Card to a Friend Day: do just that
7 Wave at Your Neighbor with ALL Your Fingers Day: give cookies or other tokens to your neighbors
11 Make a Friend Day, Homebound Day: reach out to someone who feels isolated
14 Valentine's Day: whatever you do, including ignoring the day, if you're in a relationship just make sure you agree to the level of what you're doing so there's no accidental hurt feelings
29 Leap Day: use things that jump as a "springboard" (sorrynotsorry), like frogs, kangaroos, rabbits, grasshoppers, etc

March
March into Literacy Month: give books or gift cards for traditional books, ebooks, and audiobooks
Mother's Day in many countries: in addition to your own mom, consider grandmothers, aunts, godmothers, and anyone who's had a maternal influence (especially if your mother is deceased or you have a strained relationship with her)
First full week: Celebrate Your Name Week: take pictures of, find, or make objects with a person's name or name meaning, give biographies or other mementos like holy cards of people who share the name (or holy cards on the saint's feast day, if giving to people who would appreciate that)
6 National Day of Unplugging: Invite someone to go out on an adventure, give passes to national parks or other outdoor spaces
10 Paper Money Day: send a few dollars (or more) to nieces, nephews, grandchildren, or whoever you feel like
12 Plant a Flower Day: seeds, bulbs, seedlings; send postcard with pictures of flowers
13 Jewel Day: earrings, necklaces, cufflinks, tie bars, et. al.; maybe with jewel in favorite colors or birthstones
14 Pi Day (3/14): Make a pie--pizza pies count
20 Quilting Day: supplies for quilt-making if you know someone who makes quilts, or give quilts if you make them and feel so inclined, give to organizations like Project Linus which gives blankets to children in hospitals.

April
7 No Housework Day: help someone relax
8 Trading Cards for Grownups Day: help someone's hobby
10 Sibling Day: reach out to your siblings or people who are like siblings, send or make momentos
15 One Day Without Shoes: nail polish, pedicure, other foot care
22 Earth Day: help out conservation causes

May
Mother's Day in many countries: in addition to your own mom, consider grandmothers, aunts, godmothers, and anyone who's had a maternal influence (especially if your mother is deceased or you have a strained relationship with her). FYI, the third Sunday in May is Stepmother's Day.
Saturday before Mother's Day: Bereaved Mother's Day: reach out to women who have lost children
4 Star Wars Day (May the "Fourth" be with you): there is just about every kind of memorabilia related to Star Wars, from recipes to collectibles. Go nuts.
12 Night Shift Workers Day: help someone sleep well even during the day with a sleeping mask, blackout curtains, comfortable pillow, handmade blanket or pajamas, or just remembering not to call during a offset sleep time
16 Nickel Day: give a nickel
18 Museum Day: take someone a trip to a museum, give tickets or membership to a museum, donate to a museum
23 Lucky Penny Day: give a penny, leave a penny heads-up for someone to find
29 Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day: this is the perfect excuse to give someone a pillow you've made

June
Zoo and Aquarium Month: take someone to a zoo or aquarium, give tickets to membership or donate to a zoo or aquarium, give things to help a person's fish tank or other animal habitat at home
Father's Day in many countries: in addition to your own dad, consider grandfathers, uncles, godfathers, and anyone who's had a paternal influence (especially if your father is deceased or you have a strained relationship with him)
1 Children's Day: a great excuse to give a child a gift
1 Dinosaur Day: perfect day for any dinosaur-themed gift or card
11 Making Life Beautiful Day: reach out to people to make their days a little brighter
12 Knit and Crochet in Public Day: give yarn supplies and project totes, knit or crochet a gift
14 Blood Donor Day: give blood, donate financially to a blood bank, help with a blood drive
15 Nature Photography Day: take and send wildlife pictures--4x6 prints are the perfect postcard size!
21 Music Day: give instruments, albums, songs, lessons, donations to musical organizations, concert tickets
29 Camera Day: give camera accessories, print pictures you've taken to send 

July
Bereaved Parents Month: reach out people you know who've lost children
Family Reunion Month: reach out to your family, get together if possible
1 US Postage Stamp Day: send a letter or card
15 Give Something Away Day: another good excuse for giving that little thing that made you think of someone
20 Space Exploration Day: take someone on a trip to a space museum or monument, give space-related gifts like astronaut ice cream
21 Craft for Your Local Shelters Day: make something to give to a local shelter
24 Cousins Day: reach out to your cousins

August
Get Ready for Kindergarten Month: help a young child get school supplies, donate to Backpack Brigades
2 Coloring Book Day: give someone a coloring book--maybe one you've made
8 The Date to Create: make something as a gift
10 Lazy Day: help someone relax
24 Pluto Demoted Day: give gifts and experiences relevant to astronomy
30 Grief Awareness Day: reach out to people in mourning to let them know you're thinking of them

September
Classical Music Month: concert tickets, money towards instruments or lessons, donations to concert halls
Last Saturday: Worldwide Day of Play: take someone to a park or playground
1 World Letter Writing Day: send someone a letter
6 Read a Book Day: give a book, send gift certificates for ebooks, traditional books, or audiobooks; take someone to a library, read to a child
7 Feel the Love Day: reach out to people who might need encouragement
8 Star Trek Day: like Star Wars, you can find or make just about anything with a Trek twist
13 Grandparents Day: reach out to your grandparents or other people who have a similar role in your life
19 Bone Marrow Donor: sign up with the bone marrow donor registry, donate to related causes
24 Festival of Latest Novelties: great excuse to give that strange thing you found that reminded you of someone

October
First full week: Postcard Week: send a postcard
4 Feast of St. Francis of Assisi, patron of animals: give something to wild animals or pets, donate to animal shelters or wildlife causes, pets can get blessings at many churches
15 Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day: reach out to bereaved parents, light a candle at seven in the evening your time for solidarity, donate to relevant causes
23 Mole Day (the chemistry kind, at 6:02 10/23): consider chemistry-related gifts and donations
31 Halloween: the obvious candies to pass out to trick-or-treaters, but consider also thinking of kids with food allergies and have non-candy treats like temporary tattoos, little toys, glowsticks, etc

November
Second full week: Geography Awareness Week: take someone for a trip or help someone plan a trip
1 Sports Fans Day: perfect day to give that sports memorabilia you found
2 All Souls' Day: reach out people mourning the loss of loved ones
11 World Origami Day: send origami
13 World Kindness Day: reach out to people who need a bright spot
17 Electronic Greeting Card Day: send one, give the gift of a subscription to a ecard service
23 Fibonacci Day (11/23): give math-related gifts

December
First Saturday: Coats and Toys for Kids Day: Donate something to a child in need
3 Make a Gift Day: make something!
7 Letter Writing Day: write someone a letter
11 Holiday Food Drive for Needy Animals: donate to a pet shelter or wildlife refuge or conservation group
16 Stupid Toy Day: found something weird that you know someone will appreciate? Here's the day for it!
21 Crossword Puzzle Day: make or buy crossword puzzles to give
28 Call a Friend Day: reach out to a friend

Again, I want to emphasize that there is no obligation to observe any days like this. I only mark a handful, and not with anything elaborate (pizza for Pi Day, a candle on October 15, etc). But they can be a good reminder or fun excuse to brighten someone's day.

Gifts for Gardeners

If there's someone in your life you want to give a gift to who enjoys gardening, catering to that hobby is a great starting point. Some things to consider when picking a gift:

How big is the garden? Some are spread out over a person's entire property, some are in a side yard, and some are grown in containers on porches or countertops. All gardeners need to water their plants, but the size of the garden will mean that a watering can is better for some and long soaker hoses and sprinklers are better for others. Just about everyone with an outdoor garden could use sun protection. Many people will find gardening gloves and knee pads useful, but smaller or established gardens are less likely to need trowels and shovels. Gardens that take up only part of a yard are easier to maintain and look nicer with clear garden borders or even raised beds--talk with your recipient to see if those would make good gifts. People with container gardens have less space to work with, so new plants and seeds might not be as welcome, but perhaps some more containers are needed for new plants or ones that have outgrown their current containers. Terra cotta pots are nice for this: you can paint them to customize them for your recipient. Larger gardens can be time-consuming to care for--maybe the owners would like an automated watering system, or even just help and company while weeding. If there's room for more plants in any size garden, perhaps look for "fancy" ones like heirloom varieties or strains of flowers with especially striking patterns like galaxy petunias.

What is the garden for? For food, for relaxation, for landscaping, for beauty? Someone who grows food might appreciate complementary crops to grow, like herbs that can be mixed with the already-planted tomatoes to make sauces. If you're near a farmer's market, you might be able to find seeds or starts of local or heirloom plants--I like to find Walla Walla onions to grow over other varieties, for example. People who enjoy spending time in the garden might like garden décor like windcatchers or birdbaths, or some lawn furniture to sit in while appreciating the plants. You can make garden art, too: I helped my kids and my sister-in-law's kids make stepping stones for my mother-in-law to put in her garden. If someone has spent a lot of time and effort transforming an area into a garden, gifts that help keep it nice are great, like mulch and other fertilizer or weed control measures. 

What sort of climate does the garden grow in? Not all plants grow in all environments. An aloe vera won't do well outside in cold climates, and aquatic plants like lilypads are going to be tricky to grow in arid climates. Someone living in a harsher environment might like a greenhouse though, and they come in a variety of sizes. Local plants will be easier to care for and grow better than exotic ones, plus any with flowers will provide good food for local pollinators: bees, butterflies, hummingbirds, and even some bats and other mammals will appreciate local plants along with your recipient. If you know someone whose garden needs extra attention, maybe you can offer to care for it when the person is on an out-of-town trip. 

How much access do wild animals have to the garden? If your recipient is tired of rabbits, deer, birds, or other animals sampling the garden, fencing or other deterrents are a good idea. I personally use a dog to keep mammals away from my garden (she doesn't mind the birds and neither do I), but you really ought to talk to people before springing pets on them! For something as permanent and visible as a fence, definitely consult with the gardener first. For smaller and shorter areas, a frame covered in chicken wire and placed over the plants makes it difficult for animals to get in, although depending on the size of the holes, small animals like wrens and mice can still slip in, and of course insects and other invertebrates can as well. Beneficial insects like ladybugs and praying mantids are a good offense as are beneficial nematodes, eating small creatures like aphids that would otherwise feast on the plants, damaging them. There are also sprays, storebought and homemade, that can deter animals. Certain plants, for example crocuses and bluebells, work well to keep animals like deer away too, and marigolds deter slugs and snails; a gift of those plants to make a border might be nice. Used coffee grounds add nutrients to the soil (fresh ones would be too acidic), deter pest insects, and attract worms--a friend of mine works at a coffee shop and often brings me used ground for my compost pile. Motion-activated sprinklers, lights, and sound equipment can also help. On the other hand, if your recipient doesn't mind "sharing" with the local wildlife, maybe you can look for something to encourage the animals: bird feeders, plants that pollinators like hummingbirds and butterflies love, and places for them to roost like bird houses and bat boxes. A nice trail camera or traditional camera could work too.

How particular is the owner about the garden? For example, I grow both food and ornamental plants. There are some fruits and vegetables I don't care to grow, but I'm open to planting almost any kind of flower or succulent or other decorative plant. Some people might have preferences for specific varieties, too: maybe Roma tomatoes are better than beefsteak or cherry. Maybe you love the garden gloves you use, but your recipient likes another. If you're concerned you might not pick the "right" plants or garden tools, a gift card to a garden store is a good choice. You can pair it with the gift of time: take your recipient to lunch, then head to the garden store together. 

Gifts for Athletes, Coaches, and Sports Enthusiasts

A person's hobby or passion is a great starting point for brainstorming gifts. For people into sports, whether they compete themselves or just like to watch, there are a lot of ideas.

SPORTING SUPPLIES

Athletes often go through a lot of supplies: athletic tape, pre-wrap, Band-Aids, and ice packs are a good bet for most. Healthy snacks and water are also a good idea, especially for long competition days. For outdoor sports, sunscreen or other sun protection is a must--people can get sunburned even on overcast days, and it's not uncommon for people to forget how well snow reflections UV rays and end up badly sunburned while participating in snow sports. Depending on how close to nature the outdoor sports get, bug repellant or antihistamine lotion could be good, too. While coaching cross country, I have twice been to meets where the race course ended up going by a hornet nest. Fortunately, the athletes who got stung weren't allergic (the one who was allergic had forgotten his sting kit the first time, but never did again!).

Most athletes have at least a few pieces of equipment they have to transport from one place to another. Whether it's a full set of pads for football or just specialized shoes for racing, it's nice to have a good, sturdy bag (handmade or store-bought) or other way to carry the things around. Some equipment is tougher to carry than others--poles for pole vault aren't heavy but are very long! If you find a creative solution, offer it. My track and field coach saw a large plastic pipe at a construction site while he was on the way home from work, pulled over, and asked how he could buy one. It was wide enough in diameter to fit several poles in, so while it was still a two-person job to carry the poles, they were no longer slipping around as we did. Heavy equipment like weights and throwing implements need very sturdy carrying cases; others might need very large ones. Most athletes have at least two layers for competitions, warming up perhaps in sweats and then competing in a shorts-and-t-shirt sort of uniform. If you're able, you can offer to watch the athlete's things during the competition. When I coached, I bought the team a backpack with lots of pockets to keep jewelry in, as it wasn't allowed to be worn during competition (I also bought pads and tampons to keep in it, given out at the discretion of the girls' team captain).

There is a plethora of sport-specific equipment. A track and field athlete might need replacement spikes to screw into her jumping cleats, a soccer player might need new shin guards, a volleyball team might need a new net. Corporate sponsors often help teams by purchasing uniforms or other supplies in exchange for having the company name advertised at games--plus it helps the often-young athletes learn valuable social, health, and time-management skills.

SPORTING SUPPORT

Athletes and coaches put a lot into their passion. Acknowledging their hard work is a great gift. By simply showing up to a sports event to watch your nephew pitch or your sister come in under par or your friend coach a basketball team, you're demonstrating that you appreciate that time and effort. 

My grandparents had a tradition: when one of their grandchildren earned a varsity letter, they'd buy that grandchild a letterman's jacket. I loved getting mine after working to earn it! 

Supporters might also bring healthy snacks like fruit, or water. Maybe a team has a tournament far away and needs to raise cash to fund the trip--spreading the word about the team car wash or other fundraiser is helpful, as is donating gasoline gift cards or other in-kind help. When I did high school sports, a teammate's parents took pictures throughout the season and gave each of us an envelope with a couple dozen pictures of our season highlights. I still have some of those pictures years later!

FAN GEAR

Someone who supports a team, whether playing the sport or not, is likely to appreciate items with the team's logo on it. You do need to be sure not to go overboard; most people don't like getting the same thing year after year or being defined solely by one aspect of a personality. But if you know someone would like a team shirt (and the person's clothing size!), or beer mug, or home décor object, or team-emblazoned household objects like cooking utensils, you're set. My husband loves the Green Bay Packers cheesehead my brother gave him for Christmas years ago. Maybe a book or movie about the team's history or triumphs exists, or team-themed food. They don't even have to be team-specific: Girl Scouts are told to suggest people buy boxes of cookies in colors that support local teams, like green Thin Mints and blue Trefoils for the Seahawks, Mariners, and Sounders here in the Seattle area.

If the team is local or will be playing nearby, a pair of tickets could be perfect. As with any time-sensitive gift, be sure your recipient's schedule and health allow for the outing. Some teams hold events (in their local areas) for meeting fans; that's another fun option.

A great piece of memorabilia is autographs. They can be pricey on websites like eBay, but that's not the only place to get them. Teams that hold events open to the public like picture days are a good place to find autographs. I've been able to get a few just by writing to the team or athlete and asking (include a self-addressed stamped envelope). My mom got me an autograph of an Olympic athlete the same way, by writing to the college where she now coaches. Keep your eyes open at sporting events: my brother and I have both been at track meets attended by Olympians who were happy to give us autographs when we asked. Another time, I was at the homecoming game for a college football team, and overheard two other people in the stands talking. I told them it sounded like they were reminiscing about having played and it turns out they were two of the more famous past players. They were flattered to be asked for an autograph, and gladly signed my ticket. Any sports fan will love having a piece of history!

Left to right: Stacy Dragila, Dave Johnson, Cliff McBride,
Spider Gaines, and Tommie Smith

Gifts for Milestone Birthdays (and other fun events)

While any birthday can be fun in its own right, some have special meaning. These will vary depending on your culture and heritage--some numbers have more significance than others for different people. A person's very first birthday is important in many cultures, and although the child won't remember whatever is done to mark the occasion, most people still enjoy doing something to celebrate. Other ages have special meaning depending on where you live. For example, turning 15 is a big deal in Mexico and other Latin American countries where a girl celebrates with a quinceañera, but isn't as important an age in my culture. If there's a particularly extravagant gift you want to give someone, a milestone birthday is a good excuse to give it.

Reaching the next decade of life often stands out as extra reason to celebrate. I have dozens of aunts, uncles, and cousins, which makes celebrating each of their birthdays individually a bit unwieldy, but I make sure to send them cards for their fortieth, fiftieth, sixtieth, seventieth, eightieth, and ninetieth birthdays (we've had a few of the extended family make it to the century mark, but that was before I learned to read and write). If the importance is the number itself, a gift of that number of items can be nice. When my parents turned 60, my siblings and I gave them each a $60 gift card to mark the occasion, more than we usually spend on their birthdays. While you might normally call or visit around a birthday, big milestones can be the impetuous for more people to be able to visit, or for you to save up for a trip to see the person. When my paternal grandfather turned 80, we all gathered for a party for him--and did the same ten years later when he turned 90. A few years after that, there was a similar party on the other side of the family when my maternal grandfather also became a nonagenarian. 

Sometimes the reason for extra celebration is new privileges the new age brings. In the US, a person can get a driver's license upon turning 16, becomes a legal adult at 18, and is allowed to buy alcohol at 21. It's pretty common to see gifts relating to cars, independence, and drinking at those ages (of course, be mindful of individual's preferences and possible restrictions; not everyone will be able to or want to partake of the new privileges). It can also be fun to celebrate less well-known perks, like turning 25 and being able to rent a car without purchasing extra insurance, or turning 35 and (in the US) being eligible to run for president. 

There are a variety of songs about age. The Silver Beetles song "When I'm 64" asks "Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?" My parents like the song, so I brought them dinner when they hit that age. A currently-teenaged family friend likes Taylor Swift--I'm already looking forward her twenty-second birthday so I can make her a card themed around her song "22." Adele has an album titled 21, Neil Sedaka sang "Happy Birthday Sweet 16." There are also movies related to particular ages or numbers in general that can serve as a springboard for ideas. You might have inside jokes about certain ages that could inspire ideas too.

Golden birthdays are fun to celebrate too. A golden birthday is when a person turns the same age as the date; for example, turning five on the fifth on the month. Of course, people born on the first, second, third, and probably fourth won't remember their golden birthdays, but it can still be a fun excuse for a special gift (or wait for them turn 11, 22, or 33 and call it a platinum birthday). I give my godchildren, nieces, and nephews birthstone jewelry on their golden birthdays. The earliest golden birthday so far was when a nephew turned eight; he got a tie bar with his birthstone embedded in it. A goddaughter got a birthstone necklace when she turned twelve, and a niece got birthstone earrings when she turned seventeen. One niece will have to wait until she's 29 for hers!

If you happen to share a birthday with someone you know, that can also be special. One of my daughters was born on my cousin's birthday, and she sends her "birthday twin" a card every year. I also know a few parents whose children were born on their birthdays and other people (aside from twins and other multiples) who share birthdays and enjoy celebrating with the other person.

Gifts for: Hikers, Campers, and Outdoor Enthusiasts

 If you're looking for a gift for someone who spends lots of time in the outdoors, it makes sense to use that as a starting point. While your recipient probably has most of the basics and knows what works best for a given specific outdoor activities--hiking shoes, a good tent, and so on--you can still think of ways to show that you want to enhance the love of the outdoors. 

EMERGENCY SUPPLIES

I recently saw this idea on a Reddit post, and I love it.

The compass, emergency whistle, and paracord are all on the handle

It's a set of emergency supplies for being out in the wilderness: first aid supplies (including medicine, in the red, green, and blue containers, and antibiotic and burn ointments), an emergency sleeping bag, a knife, water purifying droplets, hand warmers, energy gel snacks, a flashlight, a compass, an emergency whistle, paracord (that doubles as a handle on the water bottle), a lighter, and bright flagging tape to mark your location. They fit into the large water bottle, and the whole thing weighs a negligible amount. You'd hardly notice it in your bag, if at all.

The sleeping bag does fit inside, but there are two in the pouch
so it's easier to hang it by the carabiner

I have this wrapped and ready to put under the tree for Christmas: my husband likes to go hiking, and while he takes the essential precaution of telling me where he's going and how long he plans to be gone, it's always a good idea to be prepared for emergencies.

What sort of emergencies might your recipient want to be prepared for? Are the outdoor adventures in desert areas, dense forests, snowy climates, steep terrain, bear country? Is there any cell phone signal nearby, or is a satellite phone the only option? Does your recipient car camping and might need emergency roadside assistance (you can give AAA memberships as a gift), or is hiking to a primitive campsite preferred (maybe pay for a first aid course)?

REPLACEMENTS

In general, you should trust people to pick out the essentials of their passions on their own--they know what they want and what works best for their situations, and may have preferences on brand or material or other specifics. But if you notice that your recipient's outdoor supplies are in need of repair or replacement or even upgrade, those can make for an easy gift. I prefer to NOT have these sort of gifts be a surprise, in case I've guessed wrong. For example, maybe the hiking boots aren't worn out, they're finally broken in! But when my mother-in-law noticed our little camp cooking set was very subpar for a family with kids and offered to get us a proper camp stove, we were thrilled. If you're not sure you can get the specifics right, a gift card to a store that sells outdoor gear works well.

What might be past its prime? Is the tent too small now that a couple has children--or too big now that the kids are grown? Is the hiking backpack fifteen years old and showing its age? The boots might be in good shape, but are the laces? What about clothing?

You might even be able to make a replacement yourself. My husband had been trying to replace the carry bag for our tent for over a year to no avail. Looking at it, the bag was just four long rectangles with squares at either end, and a zipper. I got my seam ripper, took off the handles and zipper from the frayed and ripped bag, and sewed a new one out of duckcloth (a stronger material than the original).

Old bag (with cat for scale)

New bag--and the tent even fits!
Plus I was able to stitch our phone number into it.

CONSUMABLES

Outdoor adventures usually require snacks at the very least. There are myriad granola bars, trail mixes, and other snacks available to buy. Or maybe you know how to make some yourself! Homemade beef jerky, fruit leather, or nut mix offer quick energy. For overnight trips, dessert or breakfast items work too. As with any food items, be aware of allergies, intolerances, and other dietary restrictions. Also keep in mind that there won't be much refrigeration outside of coolers, and that crumbly food might not hold up well. If your recipient is going to be in an area with lots of large predators like bears or big cats, make sure the food can be stored safely.

Other things that might need to be replenished include insect repellent, sunscreen, firewood, batteries or lightbulbs for flashlights and other such items, water, propane or other fuel including gasoline for the driving part of the trip, first aid supplies, bear spray, ammunition, special cleaning supplies, yearly state or national park passes, and so on.

EXTRAS

Especially for hiking, most people don't want to bring more than the essentials. But there are a few things that are worth the extra weight and space. For example, a rain fly for a tent makes a huge difference if the weather turns bad while camping, as does a small fan when nighttime temperatures don't drop low enough to sleep comfortably. As I've gotten older, I vastly prefer to bring a camping cot rather than a sleeping on a mat on the ground. A brimmed hat is great for sun protection, but one that offers neck and ear covering is a nice addition for very hot or sunny areas (or anywhere for fair-skinned people). If your recipient likes to take a dog along, a dish for the dog to drink water from is great. or maybe a coat for the dog or balm for its feet. There are even sewing patterns to make collapsible bowls and coats--you could customize them to fit your recipient's interests or for visibility.

If they wouldn't add too much weight or take up too much space, field guides can be fun. Especially if your recipient might encounter new plants or animals or likes to stargaze, consider locally-geared books and pamphlets or topography and star maps. For the US, I really like the field guides by Stan Tekiela, full of pictures and arranged in easy-to-understand categories (the birds are arranged by color!). There are also hiking books specific to states and other locales that help people find hikes with particular geological features and explain how the landscape came to be. Astronomy guides help people identify stars, planets, and other celestial bodies, and mark the best times to watch for meteor showers, eclipses, and other exciting features. Binoculars and telescopes, if not too unweildly, might be a nice addition--if a solar eclipse is in the plans, be sure your recipient has the proper equipment to view it safely!

The August 2017 solar eclipse, viewed from Wyoming, USA--
I had eclipse glasses not only for me, but for the camera, too.

For other ideas, consider the off-season and the times surrounding outdoor adventures. Maybe your recipient needs some storage space and you know how to build shelves. Maybe the car is packed too full and a roof rack or trailer hitch carrier would be helpful. If it's a long trip, how about a gift card to grab food along the way? Or if you live between the adventure destination and your recipient's home, a shower after the trip!

If you're not sure whether your idea is a good one or something that will be annoying, check with your recipient. Surprise gifts are lots of fun, but it's better to know that your gift will be appreciated. And sometimes your idea is exactly what your recipient wants--but already has! At least in that case you know you had a good idea.

Gifts for Emergencies

When disaster strikes, be it a friend losing a job or an earthquake leveling a city, it's natural to want to help. But what can you do, especially if the people you want to help are far away? What can you give that will be helpful rather than burdensome and respect the dignity of those you're trying to help? How do you safely get it to the right people?

STRAIGHT CASH

In many cases, the immediate need is money. People might need a hotel to stay in while escaping an abuser, new clothes after surviving a fire with only their pajamas, or food and medication to make it through to the next day. When people can choose their own things to buy, it ensures they get the correct items to meet their needs, like correct shoe sizes or things that won't aggravate allergies. It also allows the victims some dignity: asking for help requires a lot of humility. When a wide-spread disaster affects a whole region, buying necessities locally also helps the business owners and employees who are struggling with the same problems. Gift cards are also helpful this way. 

Monetary gifts can also be funneled through various charities, which have the advantage of being more efficient through the use of economy of scale, buying in bulk, and already-established connections. However, it is imperative that you be sure the charities are legitimate and reputable. It's all too common for fake charities to pop up in the wake of disasters and scam people who want to help. Be very suspicious of new charities you've never heard of before, and research them. Charity Navigator, Charity Watchdog, and Guidestar are good sources to check, as well as Consumer Reports and news outlets. If you're unsure the legitimacy or efficacy of a given organization, don't give it a cent. If you have reason to believe it's an outright scam, contact someone who can do something about it, like a news reporter, law enforcement, or the attorney general's office (or local equivalent).

IN-KIND DONATIONS AND MASLOW

There is a place for physical gifts--money isn't the only thing that can help. Right after a catastrophe, what's needed? What gets priority? Don't assume that the thing you want to give is the thing that's needed. The season nine M*A*S*H episode "Death Takes a Holiday" drives this point home (spoilers alert: go watch the episode if you're able; it's really good): a main character donates exquisite handmade chocolates to a local war-torn orphanage, continuing his family tradition of giving such luxuries to the less fortunate. He's initially outraged to learn that the orphanage director sold the chocolate on the black market, but softens quickly when the director points out the happiness from the treat would have lasted a moment or two, but the money from their sale will provide food for an entire month. The donor apologizes for his outburst with an eloquent epiphany: "It is sadly inappropriate to give dessert to a child who has had no meal." 

https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

Maslow's hierarchy of needs puts the needs at the base of the pyramid as the first priority: food, water, medical aid, shelter; what we need to survive. After addressing these--that is, ensuring the disaster victims stay alive--psychological and self-fulfillment needs can be addressed. They don't need to be strictly linear though; you can comfort someone while providing food, for example.

In the immediate aftermath, there might not be time to go shopping, or even the ability, depending on the time and scope of the disaster. But if you have on hand extra food, blankets, clean water, or a spare room--and you can safely share them--feel free to. Be sure your items are appropriate: you'll have to search long and hard to find someone who wants used underwear, no matter how new it looks. Heat-and-serve meals can be convenient and are often comfort foods, but not very easy to make if there's no home to cook it in. Don't give just the sake of giving; give something useful. 

As the recovery progresses, there is likely to be ongoing needs. This is when hand-made items might be more appropriate--you can invest the time needed to make something after basic needs are met (either by you or someone else; you don't have to do it alone). Sometimes groups will auction off a large items made for a specific. For example, after the 2014 Oso mudslide in Washington, a small group of people came together to commission and sew a quilt that was auctioned off with other donations at a gala (https://www.heraldnet.com/news/oso-memorial-fundraiser-seeks-to-help-build-a-place-to-heal/). All the proceeds, including ticket sales for entry, went to help the community that had been destroyed and build a very moving memorial for the 43 people who died. Similarly, groups like the Linus Project provide handmade blankets to children in hospitals, and other charities make other keepsakes to help families through difficult circumstances. Pre-existing social groups like churches and guilds often organize meal trains or house cleaning when a member is beset by financial, medical, or other catastrophe.

Currently, the world is still dealing with the already months-long COVID19 pandemic. People are stressed over the uncertainty of...everything, and the end is unclear. Initially, the concern was scrambling to have enough hospital space and medical equipment. While that's still being addressed, there are other issues that need attention too. There's plenty of time for those with the ability and resources to sew masks for people, either for donation or sale (no moral objection from me; people need to be able to buy food). People feeling isolated need phone calls, video chats, or letters to feel connected again.

Along similar lines, some charities help victims of long-lasting or widespread disasters funnel their talents into businesses, setting them up for long-term success. Fair trade items, though not without controversy, are a good example of this, and available in a variety of physical and online stores.

BURNOUT AND OXYGEN MASKS

As you help someone through an emergency, watch out for your own well-being. While you can absolutely make a difference to some people, you can't save the entire world. You also won't do much help in the long run if you, for example, visit a disaster-torn area and end up taking much-needed resources from the actual victims of it. 

Burnout is a real thing. Far too often, family ends up sole caretakers for a loved one who needs professional help, and feels too embarrassed or proud to ask for help, or doesn't realize how much the help is needed until it's too late. It's not wrong or unloving to admit that you can't do it alone; on the contrary, I think it takes more love to be able to let people help--your love for your family member is more important than your pride. Take care of yourself and don't spread yourself too thin. You won't be able to continue helping if you run yourself into the ground. As the saying goes, put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others with theirs.

It's okay to say no sometimes. You don't need to help every single person, especially when doing so is detrimental to yourself. Don't metaphorically set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Sheltering an abuse victim is undeniably selfless, but are you opening yourself up to danger from the abuser? It might be better in the long run to get the abuse victim to a safehouse or professional shelter. 

THE LITTLE THINGS

Depending on your circumstances, you might not be able to do much in the way of monetary or in-kind support. You yourself might be one of the victims of the disaster, or maybe the disaster was of a scale that you really need to step aside and let the professionals handle the matter. Those of us who remember the 9/11 terror attacks might also recall that people lined up to donate blood...but there weren't enough people who survived to use that much and blood banks turned people, including my brother, away and asked them to come back in the next few weeks to keep the baseline blood supply adequate.

So, what happens when it seems like there's nothing you can but you're still drawn to help? You remember that your gesture doesn't need to be huge. Even a five dollar donation to a food bank can be added to the small donations from dozens of others and stretched to help far more than you could do on your own.

As you would with someone grieving, you can also show support just by being there. Even if the disaster doesn't come with actual loss of life, it will be jarring to the victims. A card, a phone call, attending a public memorial--this means something to people trying to put their lives together, and helps with the higher parts on Maslow's hierarchy pyramid.

When you feel called to help, take care to offer real, meaningful, and useful help--and answer the call. 

Gifts for Delivery People and Other Service Industry Workers

No man is an island, and all of us rely on people to help us at one time or another. Some people have standing appointments with a regular hairdresser or other beautician; some people need or want food and grocery delivery; some people have household help like cleaners, maids, nannies, and maybe even cooks and drivers; many subscribe to newspapers, landscaping and pest control businesses; and waste management services; and most, if not all, get mail and more from the post office and other parcel delivery companies. Often, people want to display their gratitude around the holidays or at other times. Here are some ideas.

COLD, HARD CASH (OR GIFT CARDS)

You can't go wrong with this! Many people add an extra tip for newspaper delivery, beautician services, and household help around the December holidays, or add a bonus to the last paycheck of the year. Make sure your tip gets to the right person--send or hand it directly to your recipient if possible.

It might be more prudent to give a gift card in some cases. I leave envelopes with coffee shop cards taped to our trash bins for our waste management people, for example--it's a little more secure, it's obviously not garbage, and since they don't always come at the same times each week, it's ready when they are. Same for my letter carrier--it's easy to leave a note on my mailbox, as it's on my porch. When I was in an apartment with dozens of other tenants, I was able to figure out our normal delivery time for days I was home (package tracking will tell you what times packages are left), and hang out to meet the letter carrier.

Some companies limit the value of a gift their employees can receive. For example, US postal workers cannot accept gifts worth more than $20. Check to be sure your efforts are within such guidelines.

REFRESHMENTS

Some people make a habit of leaving snacks and drinks for service workers. I try to leave a cooler with water bottles for letter carriers, parcel delivery, and waste management workers if it gets above 90 (hot for my area, and they tend to come in the middle of the day). In the winter, I leave out hand warmers. In that same large apartment building, a UPS driver dropped off a package shortly after I put cookies in the oven. I told him he could come back when he finished delivering the rest of the packages on his cart. He did, and it made my day to be able to give him fresh cookies. During the COVID19 lockdowns when people were ordering more and more online, I put out a basket with (fresh) snacks each day, and sewed face masks for delivery people and waste management workers (those I put in Ziploc bags and taped to the trash bins, with notes).

I also printed out this comic strip to adorn the mailbox

If a service worker is fixing something in your home or you have landscapers outside, it seems only polite to at least offer water and use of the bathroom if needed. 

A PERSONAL TOUCH

If you know the service worker well enough, you can make or buy something more personalized, even if the personalization is limited to a heartfelt note. I used to be a nanny for a particular family, for four years. The first December, I was pleasantly surprised to see a large bonus in my paycheck. The following Christmases, after we knew each other better, I got gift cards to stores the family knew I liked and my children were given fancy Christmas dresses. When I found out my letter carrier liked Cherry Coke, I gave him a six-pack of cans for Christmas. 

Although, one time I got a Christmas bonus of a microfiber throw blanket (not as a service worker, in an office)... some co-workers commented they'd seen the same throws at Costco for very cheap, much less than previous years' holiday bonuses... the office manager was later arrested for embezzlement. You don't need to break the bank to give a thank you gift if you feel so inclined--as these people are doing their jobs and hopefully being paid well to do so, you don't need to give anything at all. But whatever you do, don't embezzle to do it!

Sewing Tutorial: Mermaid, Whale, or Shark Tail

Mermaid, whale, or shark tail blankets/sleeping bag sort of things are widely available to buy ready-made in stores, but they're also not difficult to make at home. Here are the steps I followed to sew a trio of customized mermaid tails.

It's hard to find "panda unicorns in space" mermaid tails in stores.

SUPPLIES

Fleece fabric 

Cotton quilting fabric

Waistband elastic

The amounts you need will vary based on the size you're making--I used less than a yard of fleece for one child who wears a size 3 or 4T, and closer to one and a half yards for the two who wear sizes 8 and 10/12; less than a quarter yard of cotton for each, and one two-yard package of waistband elastic between the three. I've tried making tails with different elastics and with separate fabric for the fin parts, but I find this way works best.
MEASUREMENTS

You'll need to take six measurements:
1: total height
2: armpit to toes
3: around torso with arms at sides
4: around ankles with feet should-width apart
5: over the shoulder (for straps)
6: across chest (armpit to armpit)

These are the measurements for my child who wears a size 8

Next, you need to adjust some of the measurements a bit for the pattern. This is for seam allowance, and to be sure the tail isn't too tight. The tail is made in two halves, so you also need to divide the third and fourth measurements in half, as I did in the picture above.

1: subtract 4-5 inches (10- 13 cm)

2: no adjustment

3: add 2 inches (5 cm); divide by two

4: add 2-3 inches (5-8 cm); divide by two

5: add 1 inch (2.5 cm)

6: no adjustment

CUTTING THE MATERIAL

You will be cutting two identical pieces of fleece, two identical strips of cotton (or one long one cut in half), and two pieces of waistband elastic.

For the fleece, cut two rectangles the length of Measurement 1 by the length of Measurement 3.

In this example, 45 inches long and 18 inches wide.

Mark the center of the the short ends of the rectangle. From there, mark the spot the length of Measurement 2 from one short edge: this second mark will be where the tail starts, and the narrowest part of the tail. Center Measurement 4 on this second mark, and cut a diagonal line to shape the tail. Do the same on the other side. 

Here, the left side is 18 inches wide, tapering down to 11.5 inches wide over 36 inches.
There is still room on the right to cut the fin shape.

With the fabric remaining past the narrowest part, cut a fin shape.

Looking more a like a tail now!

The next two pieces are much simpler. Cut two pieces of cotton quilting fabric six inches (15 cm) wide by the length of Measurement 3. Fold the strips in half (i.e.; 3 inches/7.5cm wide), wrong sides together, and iron. These will be used similar to quilt binding.

Six inches by 18 inches for this tail

Finally, cut two strips of waistband elastic for the straps, using Measurement 5. 

Time to start sewing!

CONSTRUCTION

You'll start by attaching the straps and the cotton to the top of one piece of the fleece--that is, the end opposite the tail fins. Mark the center of the top side, and pin the straps on the wrong side of the fleece, according to Measurement 6. If your waistband elastic has a right side and wrong side like mine does, be sure the wrong sides of the elastic is facing the wrong side of the fleece.

The outer edges are 8 inches apart for this size tail.
Arranged this way, the black side will show--
I ended up changing it around for the silver to show.

Next, position the cotton strips. The cut edges will match up with edges of the top of the tail and the ends of the elastic. Sew these three layers into place.

Fleece wrong side up, elastic wrong side down, cotton with raw edge where the WonderClips are
Again, I actually flipped the elastic, as shown in the picture below.

My needle is in the middle position.

Just like you would do with quilt binding, bring the cotton over to the right side of the fleece. The straps will be sticking out between the fleece and the cotton. Sew the cotton down, both at the top of the tail and at the folded edge.

You could just sew a hem along the top of the tail and attache the straps within the hem,
but I think this looks nicer, and is a sturdier.

That's one side done--now the other one. It's pretty much the same process, except you need to be mindful of the half of the tail attached to the other ends of the straps. Be careful!

Once you're sure the straps aren't twisted, sew them and the cotton on like on the first half.

You should end up with your two tail halves set up like this. If you're making a shark or other fish tail, please be aware that this will make the tail "sideways" from how the animals actually look, as their tail fins are vertical compared to their bodies while whales and dolphins have horizontal tails. This might not matter to you, but it might be important for the child you're sewing for. To correct this, you would attach both ends of the same strap to the same half of the tail. It would also make it easy to add a dorsal fin to the seam that will end up along the child's back.

In retrospect, I should have moved the needle all the way to the left when I sewed the folded edges.

Now it gets easier again: pin (or clip) the two halves right sides together, and sew around the perimeter--except for across the top, of course! You can overcast the raw edges if you want to, but with fleece it's not necessary. It comes to whether you want a bulky seam or a raw seam.

I used a narrow zig-zag, and left the edges raw.

Turn it right-side-out and cut any errant threads, and you're done!

Ready for a movie night.