Gifts for Pets and Pet Owners

 If you're giving gifts to someone with a pet, it can be fun to include the animal as well. Any pet store will of course have a multitude of toys and treats, and many grocery stores or supermarkets will as well. There are also myriad craft ideas online for inspiration!

TREATS

As with people, you need to be aware of allergies and intolerances for any edible gift. Also remember that many things people eat aren't good for animals. Most people know that dogs and cats can't eat chocolate, but fewer know that garlic, onion, and grapes are also verboten. Less commonly-kept animals, like fish, reptiles, amphibians, birds, small mammals, and invertebrates have restrictions as well, and with most exotic pets being smaller than dogs and cats, smaller amounts of dangerous foods pose risk (the dose makes the poison). Larger animals like livestock can eat a lot of things out of the garden, but potatoes and rhododendrons are dangerous to them; horses are especially known for having delicate digestive systems. Other foods to watch out for include ones that contain xylitol (often found in sugar-free gum and peanut butter) or large pits and seeds like avocado (choking hazard), alcohol, coffee, tea, stems and leaves of potatoes and tomatoes, rhubarb leaves, mustard and apple seeds, macadamia nuts, walnuts, yeast dough, mushrooms, and foods with excessive fat, sugar, or salt. Especially for exotics, look up information specific to the species. Once you know you have a safe food in mind, run it past the pet owner to check for allergies.

Of course, there are lots of treats available at stores. If you have the time and ingredients, you can also make your own! Here are a few recipes:

Dog Treats

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Mix together 2 1/4 whole wheat cups flour, 1/2 cup powdered milk, 1 egg, 1/2 cup vegetable oil, 3/4 cup beef bouillon or beef stock, and 1 tbsp packed brown sugar until well blended. Roll out dough onto floured surface and cut into dog bone shapes (or whatever shape you want). Bake for 30 minutes, cool on rack, and store in airtight container. Makes about 30-40 treats.

Cat Treats

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix together 12 oz canned tuna, 1 egg, and 1 whole wheat cup flour. Form dough into small balls (cat-treat sized) and place on baking sheet. Bake for 20 minutes until slightly browned. Let cool for at least ten minutes before offering to cat.

Recipes for reptiles, small rodents, herbivores like rabbits, carnivores like ferrets, and birds can be found at this great site: https://avianandexoticvets.com/recipes and some of my favorites are below.

Supercharged Salad (for reptiles)

Combine 1/2 c shredded raw green beans, 1/2 cup shredded raw pumpkin (or other orange-fleshed squash), 1 medium shredded raw parsnip, 1/4 cup minced raw melon, 1/4 cup raw diced carrot, and 1/2 cup alfalfa rabbit pellets (soaked in water to soften). Dust with multivitamin or calcium powder meant for reptiles.

Rodent Rhapsody (for mice, rats, cavies, etc)

Slice one baby carrot or small carrot stick so it can lay flat on a surface. Carefully scoop out a middle portion of the carrot, making it like a long shallow dish. Fill cavity with peanut butter, cream cheese, or other similarly-textured rodent-safe spread. "Plant" small rodent-safe treats like Cheerios or seeds in the cavity.

Raspberry Cookies (for rabbits or chinchillas)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mash 1/3 cup frozen raspberries, mix in 1-2 tbsp chopped fresh mint. Crush or grind 1/3 cup timothy hay-based rabbit pellets and 1 cup Weetabix cereal (do not use a coffee grinder that has been used for coffee; the coffee remnants will contaminate the pellets). Add dry ingredients to raspberry mixture and mix thoroughly. Drop by teaspoon onto parchment-paper lined baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes or until browned on the bottom. 

If the idea of making food is too intimidating, you can do a semi-homemade treat for hot summer months: simply freeze some store-bought treats you already know are safe in a bowl. The result is a large ice cube that the animal will have to lick or nibble to free the treats from, providing a refreshing drink and some mental stimulation. For warmer months, you can drill holes in a length of plastic pipe (be wary with gnaw-happy animals like rodents; they might eat the pipe) just the right size for treats to fall through--the animal will have to worry the pipe to get the treats out.

TOYS

When I was about six years old, I found an old tennis ball while out on a walk with my family. I took it home, wrapped it, and gave to our dog for Christmas. You don't have to wait for serendipity to provide you with a toy--most stores have dog and cat toys readily available, and it isn't too difficult to find toys for birds and small mammals. Pet stores and veterinary offices will cover more exotic animals.

You can also make toys. My kids have sewn little catnip pouches out of charm squares, stuffing them loosely with cotton and adding in a tablespoon or two of catnip. You could also knit a small ball, or attach some ribbon to a stick--just be sure any string, thread, yarn, or ribbon is very firmly attached, as cats are prone to eating loose string which can become tangled in their intestines. Another idea is stacking together cardboard pieces into a scratching post.

A worn-out t-shirt, towel, or pair of jeans can be cut and braided into a tug-of-war or chew toy for a dog. A rubber ball (big enough to not be a choking hazard) can be tied in an old sock. If you're really feeling creative about an idea for a high-energy dog, you can make a few obstacles for the dog to jump over or through!

Small animals like rodents, fish, reptiles, amphibians, and invertebrates like places to hide and to climb. A little cave can be fun to decorate, provided you use materials that are safe for the animal. Rodents are known for chewing, amphibians absorb a lot through their skin, pine wood naturally contains oils that are dangerous for hermit crabs, water can dissolve toxins...be careful.

BEDS

Similar to small animals liking places to hide, animals like a comfortable place to sleep. Dog and cat beds aren't difficult to sew, knit, or crochet, though they can be time-consuming depending on the size of the animal. For cats and rodents especially, be aware of loose string or parts that can become loose with chewing: you don't want the pet to choke or get intestinal blockages. 

I knitted and felted the the bowl-shaped bed he's sitting in,
and helped my kids strip-quilt the blanket. (The fancy tuna was for his birthday.)

CLOTHES

Usually, pets don't really need--or want--clothes. But if an animal often accompanies its owner outdoors in inclement weather, a coat or booties (to protect paws from cold and from thawing chemicals that are used to melt snow and ice on roadways) might be warranted. Dogs are more likely that other pets to need accommodations like this, as most other pets either stay indoors or are bred to be outside (like livestock). If you have a friend who likes hiking with a dog, maybe the dog needs a raincoat--or a collapsible bowl for food and water!

FOR THE OWNERS

When I got my first dog as an adult (I had one as a kid, but my parents did most of the work), one of my aunts gave me a year's subscription to The Bark magazine, and a friend gave me a book about training scent hounds.

Because she's a redbone coonhound.
(I swear we didn't notice the sign until we looked at the picture later.)

If a pet owner is going out of town or is injured and you're willing and able to help out, you might offer to care for a pet for a time. Remember that some pets need much more attention and care than others, so don't commit if you can't do it. 

How does the pet owner show love for the pet? Some people might like books or movies related to animals like the memoirs by James Herriot, some might like household decorations, or jewelry, or calendars or artwork featuring their favorite creatures. Maybe a donation to a rescue group devoted to particular animals will be meaningful (especially in memory of a pet). If you see something that makes you think of a friend's beloved pet, go for it!

Gifts for Anniversaries

 Anniversaries are a great way to mark partners' commitments to each other. While the people celebrating the anniversary usually know each other well enough to find the right way to mark to occasion, it can be useful or fun to look to lists of "traditional gifts" for the different anniversaries, and brainstorm from there. As with any event when people exchange gifts with each other, the critical part is that all parties agree on the type and level of commemoration: whether everyone agrees to an exorbitant and opulent celebration, a small and intimate private function, or no acknowledgement at all--it's all good.

There are non-traditional ideas too. For example, items made in the year you were married (or when your relationship started) like wine or coins minted that year: give a penny for your first anniversary, a nickel for your fifth, and so on. Take a trip to a place that was special early in your relationship, or somewhere you've always wanted to go. Enjoy a recreation of the first meal you shared together. Set aside time to look through mementos of the time you've spent together. You can throw a party to celebrate with people important to you, or have an intimate evening alone. A vow renewal can be a lavish event or a few minutes set aside after a standard religious ceremony--I've attended both, the latter only because I happened to go to church that day, and both versions are touching. You can (several months in advance) request anniversary greetings from heads of state in some countries--check the relevant office's website for information on how to request a letter of congratulations.

First: Paper (traditional) or clocks (modern)
Books, letters, origami or other paper crafts, printed tickets to an event, stationery, magazine subscription
Promise of time--commit to spending time doing something with your partner

Second: Cotton or china
Anything sewn or otherwise handmade out of cotton; clothing, bedding, etc
Fancy meal on fine china dishes--either at home or a restaurant

Third: Leather or crystal/glass
Jewelry, clothing, accessories, shoes, etc made of leather
Personalized glassware, wine-tasting trip

Fourth: Fruit or flowers; or appliances
Plant a garden or fruit tree together, enjoy local produce at a farmer's market or locavore store, make a meal of local foods
Shop together for needed replacements, find useful accessories for current appliances, use current appliances for something you both enjoy (e.g.; cooking a nice meal)

Fifth: Wood or silverware
Buy or make a sculpture or home décor, take a trip to forest or museum that features wooden art, play a game with wooden pieces like Jenga, build something together
Enjoy a fancy meal with the "good" silver

Sixth: Candy or iron; wood
Candy bouquets, homemade candy, gourmet sweets; iron décor or garden art, tools
Buy or make a sculpture or home décor, take a trip to forest or museum that features wooden art, play a game with wooden pieces like Jenga, build something together

Seventh: Wool or copper; desk sets
Storebought or handmade wool clothing or accessories, wool craft supplies, a trip to the countryside or a farm (or if you already live on one, do you want a new sheep?); copper décor, cooking supplies, garden art, or tools
Monogrammed stationery, fancy pen or even an inkwell with a feather pen, computer accessories or upgrades

Eighth: Pottery or bronze; linen or lace
Storebought or handmade pottery for the kitchen, garden, or for décor; bronze tools or art
Table linens with monograms or other personalized touches, new clothing or accessories, décor

Ninth: Willow or pottery; leather
Storebought or handmade pottery for the kitchen, garden, or for décor; pooden furniture, walk through a forest or arboretum, woven basket filled with...anything! 
Jewelry, clothing, accessories, shoes, etc made of leather

Tenth: Tin or aluminum; diamond jewelry
Tins of gourmet food, homemade food wrapped in foil, trip to places where tin or aluminum souvenirs are made, equipment or tools made of tin or aluminum (lower-priced bicycles are often made of aluminum; perhaps a biking trip), metal container to hold...anything!
The obvious like rings, earrings, bracelets, and necklaces--or art or décor

Eleventh: Steel or fashion jewelry
Stainless steel kitchen supplies or tools, artwork, car accessories or a car trip
Jewelry for a night out, jewelry fashioned into artwork or décor

Twelfth: Silk or linen; pearls
Silk undergarments/lingerie, silk bedding, silk outergarments like ties or shawls, personalized linens
Jewelry, art, or décor with pearl or mother-of-pearl inlay; oysters, trip to a beach

Thirteenth: Lace, textiles
Lace lingerie or other clothing, lace-trimmed décor, "laced-up" shoes for a walk, anything wrapped in lacey doilies, lace-looking treats like delicate cookies
Monogrammed or otherwise personalized home décor, new clothing or other fabric-based home needs, shopping trip, fabric for crafts

Fourteenth: Ivory, gold jewelry 
Of course, it's best to avoid actual ivory as it should stay on the animals it comes from--but perhaps a trip to wildlife refuge or zoo or museum where the animals are found (ivory comes not only from elephants, but other animals including walruses, narwhals, and elk, plus extinct animals like mammoths and mastodons), or a trip to a concert hall, or to a museum that has ancient artwork is in order.
Aside from the usual jewelry like rings, earrings, bracelets, necklaces, and watches, gold can be made into artwork and décor.

Fifteenth: Crystal, watches
Jewelry, décor, vases, stemware, a meal at a fancy restaurant, artwork
Any time-keeping instrument, or a gift of time

Sixteenth: Coffee or tea (both traditional and modern)
Matching mugs, date to a coffee/tea shop, fancy brew, coffee/tea making machines or accessories, treats that go with the drinks (or other drinks like hot chocolate if coffee and tea aren't your...cup of tea)

Seventeenth: Wine and spirits (both traditional and modern)
Date to a nice bar, wine-tasting, tour of a brewery or winery, bottle of high-end alcohol (or other drinks like sparkling cider if alcohol isn't wanted or appropriate), picnic lunch with a toast

Eighteenth: Appliances (both traditional and modern)
Shop together for needed replacements, find useful accessories for current appliances, use current appliances for something you both enjoy (e.g.; cooking a nice meal)

Nineteenth: Jade (both traditional and modern)
Meal at any of the numerous restaurants with "jade" in the name, jade jewelry or art, jade-colored clothing or other items, bonsai jade tree, trip to a place where jade is a popular souvenir item

Twentieth: China, platinum
New dishes (especially if after two decades, yours need replacing), personalized dishes, figurines or other décor made of china
Art, jewelry, or décor made of platinum; music from a "platinum" record

Twenty-first: fire, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Candle-lit dinner, date around a fire pit or at an open-flame grill, barbecue tools or foods, trip to see fire-related things like volcanos

Twenty-second: water, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Visit to an aquarium or natural body of water like a lake or ocean, kayaking or canoe trip, drinkware, cruise, fountain for a garden or the home, swimming adventure like scuba diving or snorkeling, trip to a wishing well or fountain

Twenty-third: air, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Balloons, trip on an airplane or hot air balloon, sky-diving or parachuting trip, something breath-taking or a way to indicate "you take my breath away"

Twenty-fourth: stone, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Pizza or other food cooked on a baking stone, hot stone massage, rock climbing or similar adventure, go out for drinks "on the rocks," visit to a place with stone sculptures, precious stones made into décor or jewelry, stone artwork, a way to indicate "you're my rock," anything given in a stone box

Twenty-fifth: silver (both traditional and modern)
Anything wrapped in silver-colored paper, silver art or jewelry, silver décor or dinnerware

Twenty-sixth: art (both traditional and modern)
Handmade or storebought artwork, trip to an art museum, art classes to take together

Twenty-seventh: music (both traditional and modern)
Playlist of favorite or meaningful music, date to a concert or orchestra, new music equipment (either or listening or making your own), music lessons, a song you composed yourself

Twenty-eighth: linens (both traditional and modern)
New dining linens, new bed linens, a meal out at a fine restaurant, textiles for crafting, handmade linen items

Twenty-ninth: tools  (both traditional and modern)
Tools for any hobby or pastime: crafting, woodworking, cooking, et. al.; working on a project together, using your creativity and talent to create a gift

Thirtieth: pearl or diamond
Décor, art, jewelry, or home goods with pearl or mother-of-pearl; oysters, trip to a beach
Décor, art, jewelry, or home goods with diamond; diamond-tipped tools, trip to a museum with diamonds like the Smithsonian with the Hope Diamond

Thirty-first: travel/tourism (both traditional and modern)
Any trip near or far, items for traveling like new luggage or a travel toiletry set

Thirty-second: bronze (both traditional and modern)
Bronze artwork or décor, bronze jewelry, bronze home goods, bronze-colored clothing or accessories, anything wrapped in bronze paper, history lecture about the bronze age

Thirty-third: iron (both traditional and modern)
Iron décor or home goods, cast iron cookware, hobby items made of iron like golf clubs, a meal together high in iron, history lecture about the iron age

Thirty-fourth: food (both traditional and modern)
Any meal together, whether home or away, elaborate or simple; anything to make food

Thirty-fifth: coral or jade
Trip to a beach (bonus points if it has coral), a seafood meal, anything coral-colored or wrapped in coral-colored paper
A meal at any of the numerous restaurants with "jade" in the name, jade jewelry or décor, anything jade-colored or wrapped in jade-colored paper

Thirty-sixth: antiques (both traditional and modern)
Any vintage piece, décor reflecting important parts of the past, a trip to a place known for antique souvenirs, anything that fits in the theme of "old fashioned" including old fashioned doughnuts or the drink old fashioned

Thirty-seventh: books (both traditional and modern)
Autographed and/or first edition of a favorite book, e-reader, audio book to listen to while on a trip, a story you've written yourself

Thirty-eighth: luck, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Shamrock or lucky penny or other symbol of luck, trip to a casino (as with any gambling trip, agree on an amount of money you're comfortable losing and take only that in cash to avoid temptation)

Thirty-ninth: laughter, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Watch a comedy together, go see a comedian live, tell jokes together, reminisce over happy memories--and get ideas for making more

Fortieth: ruby (both traditional and modern)
Ruby jewelry or artwork or décor, a meal of red-themed foods like red wine and ruby grapefruits, a bouquet of red flowers

Forty-first: office or desk décor (both traditional and modern)
Personalized picture frames or pen holders, computer equipment, stationery

Forty-second: clocks or watches (both traditional and modern)
Personalized/engraved watch, artful wall clock, setting time aside for each other

Forty-third: entertainment, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Take in a movie or a live show, have an entertainment date at home with popcorn and snacks

Forty-fourth: electronics (both traditional and modern)
Replace worn-out electronics or buy the ones you've always wanted, upgrade your electrical outlets or do other needed electrical work, "fun" electronics like digital photo frames or entertainment-themed devices

Forty-fifth: sapphire (both traditional and modern)
Artwork, décor, home goods, or jewelry with sapphire; blues or rhythm-and-blues concert, anything blue-colored or wrapped in blue-colored paper

Forty-sixth: games (both traditional and modern)
Any game to play together, attending a sporting event, a personalized treasure hunt, a murder mystery dinner theater or escape room date

Forty-seventh: garden or plants (both traditional and modern)
Walk through a garden or park, National Parks pass, gardening supplies, houseplants or garden plants or seeds, a bouquet of flowers utilizing flower messages (e.g.; red chrysanthemums symbolize "I love you")

Forty-eighth: home improvement, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Depending on your budget and needs, anything from a new piece of home décor to a remodel--or just spruce up your house with a solid cleaning, either together or from a cleaning service

Forty-ninth: copper (both traditional and modern)
Home goods, tools, décor, jewelry, or artwork made with copper; anything copper-colored or wrapped in copper-colored paper

Fiftieth: gold (both traditional and modern)
Artwork or jewelry made with gold, gold-colored flowers, anything gold-colored or wrapped with gold-colored paper, anything that represents elegance and longevity

Fifty-first: photos or cameras (both traditional and modern)
Scrapbook or collage of treasured memories, professional portraits, a trip together (with a camera) to create memories

Fifty-second: bath or spa, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Anything for a relaxing bath (alone or together) like fancy soap or a good book, spa day, new towels or other bath needs, heated towel rack

Fifty-third: plastic (both traditional and modern)
Just about any item can be made of plastic--including plastic gift cards to a nice restaurant

Fifty-fourth: glass (both traditional and modern)
Home décor, serving pieces, or artwork made of glass

Fifty-fifth: emerald (both traditional and modern)
Jewelry or artwork or décor made with emerald, trip to the Emerald City or Emerald Isle or similarly-named places, watching the Wizard of Oz, green tea, anything green-colored (including money) or wrapped in green paper

Fifty-sixth: day, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Spending a day together, a movie date watching movies with the word "day" in the titles, remember the wonderful days you've had together--and make plans for more good memories

Fifty-seventh: night, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Spending a night together, a movie date watching movies with the word "night" in the titles, a night out, star-gazing, anything for making sleep better

Fifty-eighth: faith and hope, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
If you're religious anything related to your faith will work, anything uplifting, trips to places that inspire faith and hope

Fifty-ninth: charity/love, as a theme (both traditional and modern)
Charitable acts you can enjoy together, donations that memorialize your commitment to each other like a donation of a park bench with your names on it

Sixtieth: diamond (both traditional and modern)
Artwork, jewelry, or décor with diamonds     

Gifts for Gardeners

If there's someone in your life you want to give a gift to who enjoys gardening, catering to that hobby is a great starting point. Some things to consider when picking a gift:

How big is the garden? Some are spread out over a person's entire property, some are in a side yard, and some are grown in containers on porches or countertops. All gardeners need to water their plants, but the size of the garden will mean that a watering can is better for some and long soaker hoses and sprinklers are better for others. Just about everyone with an outdoor garden could use sun protection. Many people will find gardening gloves and knee pads useful, but smaller or established gardens are less likely to need trowels and shovels. Gardens that take up only part of a yard are easier to maintain and look nicer with clear garden borders or even raised beds--talk with your recipient to see if those would make good gifts. People with container gardens have less space to work with, so new plants and seeds might not be as welcome, but perhaps some more containers are needed for new plants or ones that have outgrown their current containers. Terra cotta pots are nice for this: you can paint them to customize them for your recipient. Larger gardens can be time-consuming to care for--maybe the owners would like an automated watering system, or even just help and company while weeding. If there's room for more plants in any size garden, perhaps look for "fancy" ones like heirloom varieties or strains of flowers with especially striking patterns like galaxy petunias.

What is the garden for? For food, for relaxation, for landscaping, for beauty? Someone who grows food might appreciate complementary crops to grow, like herbs that can be mixed with the already-planted tomatoes to make sauces. If you're near a farmer's market, you might be able to find seeds or starts of local or heirloom plants--I like to find Walla Walla onions to grow over other varieties, for example. People who enjoy spending time in the garden might like garden décor like windcatchers or birdbaths, or some lawn furniture to sit in while appreciating the plants. You can make garden art, too: I helped my kids and my sister-in-law's kids make stepping stones for my mother-in-law to put in her garden. If someone has spent a lot of time and effort transforming an area into a garden, gifts that help keep it nice are great, like mulch and other fertilizer or weed control measures. 

What sort of climate does the garden grow in? Not all plants grow in all environments. An aloe vera won't do well outside in cold climates, and aquatic plants like lilypads are going to be tricky to grow in arid climates. Someone living in a harsher environment might like a greenhouse though, and they come in a variety of sizes. Local plants will be easier to care for and grow better than exotic ones, plus any with flowers will provide good food for local pollinators: bees, butterflies, hummingbirds, and even some bats and other mammals will appreciate local plants along with your recipient. If you know someone whose garden needs extra attention, maybe you can offer to care for it when the person is on an out-of-town trip. 

How much access do wild animals have to the garden? If your recipient is tired of rabbits, deer, birds, or other animals sampling the garden, fencing or other deterrents are a good idea. I personally use a dog to keep mammals away from my garden (she doesn't mind the birds and neither do I), but you really ought to talk to people before springing pets on them! For something as permanent and visible as a fence, definitely consult with the gardener first. For smaller and shorter areas, a frame covered in chicken wire and placed over the plants makes it difficult for animals to get in, although depending on the size of the holes, small animals like wrens and mice can still slip in, and of course insects and other invertebrates can as well. Beneficial insects like ladybugs and praying mantids are a good offense as are beneficial nematodes, eating small creatures like aphids that would otherwise feast on the plants, damaging them. There are also sprays, storebought and homemade, that can deter animals. Certain plants, for example crocuses and bluebells, work well to keep animals like deer away too, and marigolds deter slugs and snails; a gift of those plants to make a border might be nice. Used coffee grounds add nutrients to the soil (fresh ones would be too acidic), deter pest insects, and attract worms--a friend of mine works at a coffee shop and often brings me used ground for my compost pile. Motion-activated sprinklers, lights, and sound equipment can also help. On the other hand, if your recipient doesn't mind "sharing" with the local wildlife, maybe you can look for something to encourage the animals: bird feeders, plants that pollinators like hummingbirds and butterflies love, and places for them to roost like bird houses and bat boxes. A nice trail camera or traditional camera could work too.

How particular is the owner about the garden? For example, I grow both food and ornamental plants. There are some fruits and vegetables I don't care to grow, but I'm open to planting almost any kind of flower or succulent or other decorative plant. Some people might have preferences for specific varieties, too: maybe Roma tomatoes are better than beefsteak or cherry. Maybe you love the garden gloves you use, but your recipient likes another. If you're concerned you might not pick the "right" plants or garden tools, a gift card to a garden store is a good choice. You can pair it with the gift of time: take your recipient to lunch, then head to the garden store together. 

Gifts for Athletes, Coaches, and Sports Enthusiasts

A person's hobby or passion is a great starting point for brainstorming gifts. For people into sports, whether they compete themselves or just like to watch, there are a lot of ideas.

SPORTING SUPPLIES

Athletes often go through a lot of supplies: athletic tape, pre-wrap, Band-Aids, and ice packs are a good bet for most. Healthy snacks and water are also a good idea, especially for long competition days. For outdoor sports, sunscreen or other sun protection is a must--people can get sunburned even on overcast days, and it's not uncommon for people to forget how well snow reflections UV rays and end up badly sunburned while participating in snow sports. Depending on how close to nature the outdoor sports get, bug repellant or antihistamine lotion could be good, too. While coaching cross country, I have twice been to meets where the race course ended up going by a hornet nest. Fortunately, the athletes who got stung weren't allergic (the one who was allergic had forgotten his sting kit the first time, but never did again!).

Most athletes have at least a few pieces of equipment they have to transport from one place to another. Whether it's a full set of pads for football or just specialized shoes for racing, it's nice to have a good, sturdy bag (handmade or store-bought) or other way to carry the things around. Some equipment is tougher to carry than others--poles for pole vault aren't heavy but are very long! If you find a creative solution, offer it. My track and field coach saw a large plastic pipe at a construction site while he was on the way home from work, pulled over, and asked how he could buy one. It was wide enough in diameter to fit several poles in, so while it was still a two-person job to carry the poles, they were no longer slipping around as we did. Heavy equipment like weights and throwing implements need very sturdy carrying cases; others might need very large ones. Most athletes have at least two layers for competitions, warming up perhaps in sweats and then competing in a shorts-and-t-shirt sort of uniform. If you're able, you can offer to watch the athlete's things during the competition. When I coached, I bought the team a backpack with lots of pockets to keep jewelry in, as it wasn't allowed to be worn during competition (I also bought pads and tampons to keep in it, given out at the discretion of the girls' team captain).

There is a plethora of sport-specific equipment. A track and field athlete might need replacement spikes to screw into her jumping cleats, a soccer player might need new shin guards, a volleyball team might need a new net. Corporate sponsors often help teams by purchasing uniforms or other supplies in exchange for having the company name advertised at games--plus it helps the often-young athletes learn valuable social, health, and time-management skills.

SPORTING SUPPORT

Athletes and coaches put a lot into their passion. Acknowledging their hard work is a great gift. By simply showing up to a sports event to watch your nephew pitch or your sister come in under par or your friend coach a basketball team, you're demonstrating that you appreciate that time and effort. 

My grandparents had a tradition: when one of their grandchildren earned a varsity letter, they'd buy that grandchild a letterman's jacket. I loved getting mine after working to earn it! 

Supporters might also bring healthy snacks like fruit, or water. Maybe a team has a tournament far away and needs to raise cash to fund the trip--spreading the word about the team car wash or other fundraiser is helpful, as is donating gasoline gift cards or other in-kind help. When I did high school sports, a teammate's parents took pictures throughout the season and gave each of us an envelope with a couple dozen pictures of our season highlights. I still have some of those pictures years later!

FAN GEAR

Someone who supports a team, whether playing the sport or not, is likely to appreciate items with the team's logo on it. You do need to be sure not to go overboard; most people don't like getting the same thing year after year or being defined solely by one aspect of a personality. But if you know someone would like a team shirt (and the person's clothing size!), or beer mug, or home décor object, or team-emblazoned household objects like cooking utensils, you're set. My husband loves the Green Bay Packers cheesehead my brother gave him for Christmas years ago. Maybe a book or movie about the team's history or triumphs exists, or team-themed food. They don't even have to be team-specific: Girl Scouts are told to suggest people buy boxes of cookies in colors that support local teams, like green Thin Mints and blue Trefoils for the Seahawks, Mariners, and Sounders here in the Seattle area.

If the team is local or will be playing nearby, a pair of tickets could be perfect. As with any time-sensitive gift, be sure your recipient's schedule and health allow for the outing. Some teams hold events (in their local areas) for meeting fans; that's another fun option.

A great piece of memorabilia is autographs. They can be pricey on websites like eBay, but that's not the only place to get them. Teams that hold events open to the public like picture days are a good place to find autographs. I've been able to get a few just by writing to the team or athlete and asking (include a self-addressed stamped envelope). My mom got me an autograph of an Olympic athlete the same way, by writing to the college where she now coaches. Keep your eyes open at sporting events: my brother and I have both been at track meets attended by Olympians who were happy to give us autographs when we asked. Another time, I was at the homecoming game for a college football team, and overheard two other people in the stands talking. I told them it sounded like they were reminiscing about having played and it turns out they were two of the more famous past players. They were flattered to be asked for an autograph, and gladly signed my ticket. Any sports fan will love having a piece of history!

Left to right: Stacy Dragila, Dave Johnson, Cliff McBride,
Spider Gaines, and Tommie Smith

Sending Gifts Near and Far

 It's nearly the holiday season in 2020. I don't know about you, but I'm not going to be able to have my usual Christmas Eve party with my extended family this year, which means I need to figure out a way to still distribute the presents I want to give. Every year there are a few cousins I don't see in person, but this year none of us will be gathering together. So...how do you make sure someone gets a present when you can't get together?

DROP-OFFS

There might be a variety of reasons beyond a pandemic that prevents you from conducting a normal visit or family event. If you live close, you can still arrange a time to drop off a gift. I'm already plotting out a map for a day's drive around my area dropping off Christmas cookies to my extended family. 

Things to consider when dropping off a gift: will your recipient be home at the time, and is a visit expected? Can you safely leave the gift--does it risk be stolen or ruined by the elements (e.g.; a plant that could freeze)? If your recipient lives in a gated community or apartment building with secure access, will you be able to get in? Is there parking nearby, or adequate mass transit to get you there and back? Do you need to plan for tolls, parking fees, or bus tickets? Does it make more sense to drop off a gift at your recipient's work or another location instead of the home? And finally, a fun one: is there something interesting you can do nearby? My last stop for delivering Christmas cookies this year is near a zoo!

MAILING OPTIONS

I prefer to mail packages through the post office--I find their services the most cost-effective and reliable. Other people prefer UPS, Fedex, or another shipping company. Regardless of how you send a gift, you need to remember a few things. 

First, what are the delivery estimates? Every late November or early December, USPS posts a list of dates which are the last days to send packages for guaranteed delivery by December 25, based on factors like whether the package is going overseas or whether you choose expedited shipping. For packages staying in the same country, I like to send at least a week beforehand, but you can find overnight shipping services with all the package delivery companies--it'll just cost a lot more. If you're sending to another country, especially one in another hemisphere, you'll need to allow more time for things to get to their destinations.

Second, will the present survive the trip? Delicate items need to be packed carefully, with bubble wrap or newspaper or something similar to cushion them on their journeys. Perishable items need to get where they're going before they spoil--some shipping companies allow a few pounds of dry ice in shipments; check their websites for specifics. And make sure you've properly sealed the shipping box! It would be awful if the box popped open during transit.

Third, are the shipping charges within your budget? Planning ahead is helpful here. As long as the gift isn't something that will spoil for a while, if you have it ready several days before you want your recipient to get it, you can send it the slowest (that is, the cheapest) option. If you don't want a surprise amount when it comes time to pay, then flat rate boxes are your friends--and often cheaper than sending the same item priced by weight. Shipping companies offer various insurance plans, too; consider if you want those when mailing. Some are included automatically, some are extra. Either way, keep your receipt and tracking number until you know the gift has arrived safely.

Fourth, is it allowed? Some areas don't allow certain items in the mail. Alcohol is the go-to example; you can't mail it to specific states or countries. When sending agricultural items like home-grown fruits and vegetables or seeds (homegrown or storebought), you'll need to check if there are restrictions meant to curb invasive species and pests. Restrictions like this are more commonly an issue when sending packages from one country to another, but they can also exist within the same country, especially if the country covers a wide geographical area.

And finally, make sure you've written the address clearly. If you're concerned about your handwriting, you can type the address, print it out, and tape that paper to the package; or ask someone with neater handwriting to write it for you (also good if you want it to be a surprise and don't want your recipient to recognize your handwriting). If you're worried about the address getting smeared or otherwise rendered illegible, you can also put a slip of paper inside the box with the address. If the shipping company ends up having to open the package to look for clues of where it goes, your paper will be right there to help the gift get back on track.

COMBINED AND COORDINATED EFFORTS

My brother and I live two thousand miles apart, not exactly an easy drive. But my sister-in-law came up with a convenient way to save on shipping costs: buy online, pick up in store. If they want to get us something, they find it at a business that has an online store, pay for online, and arrange for pick up at the location near me, specifying my name as the pick up person. Then I just go to the pick up desk and collect it. Super easy! In another instance, I moved out of state, and as a going-away present was given a zoo membership in the new state. The family who gave it to me bought it through the zoo's website and printed out the proof of purchase, which I took with me to the zoo on my first visit, and then was given a membership card.

The business doesn't necessarily have to be huge for this to work. Once, my brother wanted to get our dad a gift card to his favorite restaurant, which only has one location run by a husband and wife. I live near it, he's two thousand miles away. My brother called the restaurant, explained the situation, paid for the gift card via credit card over the phone, and I picked it up the next time I was in the area. Considering other restaurants in the past have wanted to charge shipping costs nearly equal to the gift card itself, having the local person pick it up is far more cost-effective! And with the ability to pay over the phone or online, there's no need to remember to pay anyone back. If you're not sure whether paying over the phone or online is an option, call the business and ask. You'd be surprised how much can be done remotely--my best friend was able to pay the adoption fee for a kitten in an animal shelter across the country over the phone, and her friend picked up the cat that day.

You can also coordinate within the same area. In a few weeks when I deliver Christmas cookies, my first stop is a cousin's house. There, I will leave cookies not only for him and his family, but also his dad and his sister, who both live quite a ways away in opposite directions. Going to both their houses would add three to four hours to my day! But he'll see them at Christmas, so he's happy to hang on to those presents for them. In return, I'm going to collect Christmas cookies he and his family have made, and deliver both sets to the rest of my stops that day. And that third family member who lives too far away to pack in to the drive? Both sets of Christmas cookies will fill out a flat rate box easily; they'll get mailed together.

DIRECT FROM THE SOURCE

If you find the perfect gift in a storefront and plan to give it to someone who lives hundreds or thousands of miles away, why not simply have it sent directly from the store to your recipient? It's going to be mailed anyway, so why mail it twice? You can usually specify that you don't want an invoice sent (seeing how much you spent can make recipients feel uncomfortable) and sometimes pay a bit extra for gift wrapping, too. Just be sure to warn your recipient that a package is arriving! 

This is especially a great option for gift recipients in other countries. It can take a while for a package to cross oceans and continents. If you're looking for a gift for someone far away, check local businesses to see if you can shorten the shipping time by purchasing from a store the next town over instead of half a world away.

A word of caution when ordering online: make sure you're purchasing from a legitimate and trusted website, and that your financial information is secure. A product might be an unusually low price on a website you've never heard of because it's being sold on a scam website, or isn't as advertised (e.g.; maybe it's a doll-size dress instead of an adult-sized one). Check your credit card, bank, Paypal, or similar statements for unauthorized use often, and report any instances of fraud. 

Whatever your plans this holiday season, have fun and stay safe! Here's hoping that this time next year will be far less stressful.

In-Kind Charitable Gifts

I've mentioned before that money is a great thing to donate to charities, as they can use economy of scale and other resources to stretch their dollars further. But plenty of charities accept in-kind donations, and many people prefer to give something tangible.

HOW TO PICK A CHARITY OR CAUSE

There are so many important charitable causes. Which ones you want to donate are up to you: different people have different priorities and different interests close to their hearts. Start with thinking of what group you want to support: the homeless, veterans, nursing home or memory care residents, people with special needs, hospital patients, marginalized or minority groups, abuse survivors, refugees, animals? What sorts of causes are important to you: conservation, disease research, literacy, youth development? 

 

Some of these groups have well-known, established groups. Others might be harder to find charities for. If you can't find a local, national, or global group, you'll need to investigate further. I find that asking schools, craft guilds, shelters, and the government offices that arrange social services are good places to start. For example, the McKinney-Vento Act provides certain guarantees for US public school students in unstable living situations, and a school district's McKinney-Vento liaison may be able to advise you what donations are needed or what organizations support the district's students. 

NEW OR USED?

Some charities are able to accept gently-used donations, especially ones that sell items in second-hand stores. If you're going through your home and find you don't need some of the clothing, household goods, tools, furniture, or other things, there is probably a charity that can accept them if they're in good condition and clean. Donating worn-out items just means the charity needs to spend its time and resources disposing of them. If you're not sure if your item is too used, think about why you're getting rid of it. Is it the wrong size, a duplicate item, a book or sports equipment you've barely touched, something you changed your mind about? Is it something you don't want to be pack for a move simply because it takes up too much room and you can buy another later? Probably fine. Is it torn, frayed, stained, missing parts, or not working right? Probably not (although Goodwill and other places can take worn out clothing to sell to textile recyclers, and pet shelters can often take old blankets or towels to use as animal bedding). Popular charities that accept donations include Goodwill, St. Vincent de Paul, Habitat for Humanity ReStore, and the Salvation Army. Some will even pick up at your home! Charity shops sell items to support their specific causes; look into what you might be supporting to see what causes are close to your heart.

Other groups must insist on new items. For example, some children's hospital maintain a wishlist of items that can be donated, and due to the fragile health of many patients, it's simply safer to pass on used items. And for reasons I hope are clear, donated underwear should always be brand-new.

Food drives are another example of in-kind donations. Often, you can request a list of greatest needs, which helps the food banks not be overloaded on certain items and low on others: it could be frustrating to have a glut of pasta but no sauces to put on it. Food banks usually are also able to accept diapers, toiletries, pads and tampons, and first aid items. Some can also take kitchen items like plates, cups, cutlery, can openers, and cooking pans and utensils; and some accept toys and cold weather accessories like hats. Expired food and food with damaged packaging (e.g.; dented cans or opened bags) cannot be accepted, and while some food banks can take fresh or frozen fruits, vegetables, and meats or even home-grown food, call first and ask about the food bank's capacity for these non-shelf-stable items.

HANDMADE OR STORE BOUGHT?

If you like to make things, there are many charities happy to accept your creations. Like to knit or crochet? Extreme weather shelters and groups like Joy of Sox and Stand up for Kids are often happy to accept knitted socks, hats, scarves, mittens, and other cold weather gear (store bought items are also welcome). Want to make something bigger? Project Linus collects crocheted, knitted, woven, tied fleece, and sewn blankets to give children in hospitals. There are likely to be many local charities as well. Quilting, knitting, crochet, and other craft guilds are great places to ask for ideas, as are local churches and food banks. You can also look into donating handmade crafts to charity auctions.

Don't have the time, material, skill, or inclination to make something, but still want to give? That's fine too! Around the holiday season, it's common for churches, schools, and other charities to set up Angel Trees or Advent Trees. These allow you to pick the (anonymous) profile of someone in need to buy presents for, which can range from a special toy to new clothing to household appliances, so you can choose what fits your budget and what's on your heart to give. The profiles have information to guide you, like favorite colors, clothing and shoe sizes, and biggest needs and wants. When I was growing up, my parents would have my siblings and me pick profiles for children our age, which made for a fun family tradition. Other groups like Toys for Tots show up around the same time, collecting new items that will be given to those in need. You can also contact schools, churches, community resource centers, homeless shelters, pet shelters, and charities to ask if there's a person or family in need of anything, and purchase from that wishlist.

There are lots of way to help those in need, and lots of items to make or buy. Decide what causes are important to you, and see how you can help.

Gifts on a Budget: Things to Keep on Hand

Giving presents doesn't need to break the bank. Planning ahead lets you take advantage of sales, lower shipping prices, and is less stressful overall. Keeping some gift-related items around will help you be ready faster. Here are some ideas to get you started.

GREETING CARD SUPPLIES

Having ready access to rubber stamps, paint, markers, cardstock (or any paper) makes it easy to whip together a greeting card in minutes. They don't have to be fancy as long as they're from the heart.

It took longer to clean the stamps than to make the card.

And nothing says they need to be handmade. The most expensive of these cards were bought in a pack of six at a dollar store. Some are from thrift stores, some were sent by various organizations encouraging me to donate to their causes, and some are just the front half of cards I've received, with the personalized part torn off. I keep them with my postage stamps, ready for any time I want to drop someone a line, from condolences to congratulations. 

Most of the front halves are just the right size for postcards.

QUICK HOMEMADE GIFTS

What can you make quickly and easily? For me, it's baked goods. Knitting and sewing I can do too, but they take longer and require more concentration. So I make sure to keep baking staples on hand, and pounce on fun extras I see on sale.

Seasonally-colored icing and sprinkles go on sale after holidays and keep well,
and things like cookie cutters and other baking forms are abundant at secondhand stores.

Because I already have the supplies, it's not hard to make a quick batch of treats for a gift.

Some sprinkles, icing, or chocolate chips can quickly turn plain cookies into
 a festive Valentine plate, a Pokemon ball, a favorite animal, or a Minecraft piece.

They also add a nice touch to treats for celebrations like the end of Ramadan,
ready to mail when you can't celebrate in person during state-wide quarantines,.

What can you have on-hand? Do you have a flower patch that you can use for bouquets? Do you like to embroider or silk-screen, and can you keep some plain dish towels or shirts by the machine for quick designs? Do you like to make jewelry, and can you store beads or other supplies you see on good sales? Is there space in your freezer to store an extra casserole that you can either enjoy in a few weeks or give as a gift?

STOREBOUGHT (OR FREE) SAVINGS

If you see something useful on sale, especially clearance, and you have the funds, grab it. Even better for a budget, check groups like BuyNothing, where people give away things they no longer need for free. If you can hang on to a selection of things, you're ready for last-minute baby presents, birthdays, and lots more.

Especially nice when your kids get invited to things at the last minute,
hence my desire to store child-appropriate gifts

And for wrapping the gifts? You can often get away with free. Save gift bags and tissue, or scope out free sources like BuyNothing. Have a place to keep them, and you'll never to need to buy them.

There's also the old standby of newspaper as gift wrap
(mailed ads on newsprint are easier to come by nowadays),
or you can use children's coloring pages.

Don't go overboard: you don't need to be a hoarder. I don't keep more things than can fit in their designated spaces, and I don't let them overflow. And don't buy what you weren't already planning to: spending a ton of money, especially if your budget is tight, on paints is useless if you don't paint. But if you do have a bit of extra space in your home and your budget, it's really nice to take advantage of sales so you can be prepared.

Gifts for Emergencies

When disaster strikes, be it a friend losing a job or an earthquake leveling a city, it's natural to want to help. But what can you do, especially if the people you want to help are far away? What can you give that will be helpful rather than burdensome and respect the dignity of those you're trying to help? How do you safely get it to the right people?

STRAIGHT CASH

In many cases, the immediate need is money. People might need a hotel to stay in while escaping an abuser, new clothes after surviving a fire with only their pajamas, or food and medication to make it through to the next day. When people can choose their own things to buy, it ensures they get the correct items to meet their needs, like correct shoe sizes or things that won't aggravate allergies. It also allows the victims some dignity: asking for help requires a lot of humility. When a wide-spread disaster affects a whole region, buying necessities locally also helps the business owners and employees who are struggling with the same problems. Gift cards are also helpful this way. 

Monetary gifts can also be funneled through various charities, which have the advantage of being more efficient through the use of economy of scale, buying in bulk, and already-established connections. However, it is imperative that you be sure the charities are legitimate and reputable. It's all too common for fake charities to pop up in the wake of disasters and scam people who want to help. Be very suspicious of new charities you've never heard of before, and research them. Charity Navigator, Charity Watchdog, and Guidestar are good sources to check, as well as Consumer Reports and news outlets. If you're unsure the legitimacy or efficacy of a given organization, don't give it a cent. If you have reason to believe it's an outright scam, contact someone who can do something about it, like a news reporter, law enforcement, or the attorney general's office (or local equivalent).

IN-KIND DONATIONS AND MASLOW

There is a place for physical gifts--money isn't the only thing that can help. Right after a catastrophe, what's needed? What gets priority? Don't assume that the thing you want to give is the thing that's needed. The season nine M*A*S*H episode "Death Takes a Holiday" drives this point home (spoilers alert: go watch the episode if you're able; it's really good): a main character donates exquisite handmade chocolates to a local war-torn orphanage, continuing his family tradition of giving such luxuries to the less fortunate. He's initially outraged to learn that the orphanage director sold the chocolate on the black market, but softens quickly when the director points out the happiness from the treat would have lasted a moment or two, but the money from their sale will provide food for an entire month. The donor apologizes for his outburst with an eloquent epiphany: "It is sadly inappropriate to give dessert to a child who has had no meal." 

https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

Maslow's hierarchy of needs puts the needs at the base of the pyramid as the first priority: food, water, medical aid, shelter; what we need to survive. After addressing these--that is, ensuring the disaster victims stay alive--psychological and self-fulfillment needs can be addressed. They don't need to be strictly linear though; you can comfort someone while providing food, for example.

In the immediate aftermath, there might not be time to go shopping, or even the ability, depending on the time and scope of the disaster. But if you have on hand extra food, blankets, clean water, or a spare room--and you can safely share them--feel free to. Be sure your items are appropriate: you'll have to search long and hard to find someone who wants used underwear, no matter how new it looks. Heat-and-serve meals can be convenient and are often comfort foods, but not very easy to make if there's no home to cook it in. Don't give just the sake of giving; give something useful. 

As the recovery progresses, there is likely to be ongoing needs. This is when hand-made items might be more appropriate--you can invest the time needed to make something after basic needs are met (either by you or someone else; you don't have to do it alone). Sometimes groups will auction off a large items made for a specific. For example, after the 2014 Oso mudslide in Washington, a small group of people came together to commission and sew a quilt that was auctioned off with other donations at a gala (https://www.heraldnet.com/news/oso-memorial-fundraiser-seeks-to-help-build-a-place-to-heal/). All the proceeds, including ticket sales for entry, went to help the community that had been destroyed and build a very moving memorial for the 43 people who died. Similarly, groups like the Linus Project provide handmade blankets to children in hospitals, and other charities make other keepsakes to help families through difficult circumstances. Pre-existing social groups like churches and guilds often organize meal trains or house cleaning when a member is beset by financial, medical, or other catastrophe.

Currently, the world is still dealing with the already months-long COVID19 pandemic. People are stressed over the uncertainty of...everything, and the end is unclear. Initially, the concern was scrambling to have enough hospital space and medical equipment. While that's still being addressed, there are other issues that need attention too. There's plenty of time for those with the ability and resources to sew masks for people, either for donation or sale (no moral objection from me; people need to be able to buy food). People feeling isolated need phone calls, video chats, or letters to feel connected again.

Along similar lines, some charities help victims of long-lasting or widespread disasters funnel their talents into businesses, setting them up for long-term success. Fair trade items, though not without controversy, are a good example of this, and available in a variety of physical and online stores.

BURNOUT AND OXYGEN MASKS

As you help someone through an emergency, watch out for your own well-being. While you can absolutely make a difference to some people, you can't save the entire world. You also won't do much help in the long run if you, for example, visit a disaster-torn area and end up taking much-needed resources from the actual victims of it. 

Burnout is a real thing. Far too often, family ends up sole caretakers for a loved one who needs professional help, and feels too embarrassed or proud to ask for help, or doesn't realize how much the help is needed until it's too late. It's not wrong or unloving to admit that you can't do it alone; on the contrary, I think it takes more love to be able to let people help--your love for your family member is more important than your pride. Take care of yourself and don't spread yourself too thin. You won't be able to continue helping if you run yourself into the ground. As the saying goes, put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others with theirs.

It's okay to say no sometimes. You don't need to help every single person, especially when doing so is detrimental to yourself. Don't metaphorically set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Sheltering an abuse victim is undeniably selfless, but are you opening yourself up to danger from the abuser? It might be better in the long run to get the abuse victim to a safehouse or professional shelter. 

THE LITTLE THINGS

Depending on your circumstances, you might not be able to do much in the way of monetary or in-kind support. You yourself might be one of the victims of the disaster, or maybe the disaster was of a scale that you really need to step aside and let the professionals handle the matter. Those of us who remember the 9/11 terror attacks might also recall that people lined up to donate blood...but there weren't enough people who survived to use that much and blood banks turned people, including my brother, away and asked them to come back in the next few weeks to keep the baseline blood supply adequate.

So, what happens when it seems like there's nothing you can but you're still drawn to help? You remember that your gesture doesn't need to be huge. Even a five dollar donation to a food bank can be added to the small donations from dozens of others and stretched to help far more than you could do on your own.

As you would with someone grieving, you can also show support just by being there. Even if the disaster doesn't come with actual loss of life, it will be jarring to the victims. A card, a phone call, attending a public memorial--this means something to people trying to put their lives together, and helps with the higher parts on Maslow's hierarchy pyramid.

When you feel called to help, take care to offer real, meaningful, and useful help--and answer the call. 

Gifts for Delivery People and Other Service Industry Workers

No man is an island, and all of us rely on people to help us at one time or another. Some people have standing appointments with a regular hairdresser or other beautician; some people need or want food and grocery delivery; some people have household help like cleaners, maids, nannies, and maybe even cooks and drivers; many subscribe to newspapers, landscaping and pest control businesses; and waste management services; and most, if not all, get mail and more from the post office and other parcel delivery companies. Often, people want to display their gratitude around the holidays or at other times. Here are some ideas.

COLD, HARD CASH (OR GIFT CARDS)

You can't go wrong with this! Many people add an extra tip for newspaper delivery, beautician services, and household help around the December holidays, or add a bonus to the last paycheck of the year. Make sure your tip gets to the right person--send or hand it directly to your recipient if possible.

It might be more prudent to give a gift card in some cases. I leave envelopes with coffee shop cards taped to our trash bins for our waste management people, for example--it's a little more secure, it's obviously not garbage, and since they don't always come at the same times each week, it's ready when they are. Same for my letter carrier--it's easy to leave a note on my mailbox, as it's on my porch. When I was in an apartment with dozens of other tenants, I was able to figure out our normal delivery time for days I was home (package tracking will tell you what times packages are left), and hang out to meet the letter carrier.

Some companies limit the value of a gift their employees can receive. For example, US postal workers cannot accept gifts worth more than $20. Check to be sure your efforts are within such guidelines.

REFRESHMENTS

Some people make a habit of leaving snacks and drinks for service workers. I try to leave a cooler with water bottles for letter carriers, parcel delivery, and waste management workers if it gets above 90 (hot for my area, and they tend to come in the middle of the day). In the winter, I leave out hand warmers. In that same large apartment building, a UPS driver dropped off a package shortly after I put cookies in the oven. I told him he could come back when he finished delivering the rest of the packages on his cart. He did, and it made my day to be able to give him fresh cookies. During the COVID19 lockdowns when people were ordering more and more online, I put out a basket with (fresh) snacks each day, and sewed face masks for delivery people and waste management workers (those I put in Ziploc bags and taped to the trash bins, with notes).

I also printed out this comic strip to adorn the mailbox

If a service worker is fixing something in your home or you have landscapers outside, it seems only polite to at least offer water and use of the bathroom if needed. 

A PERSONAL TOUCH

If you know the service worker well enough, you can make or buy something more personalized, even if the personalization is limited to a heartfelt note. I used to be a nanny for a particular family, for four years. The first December, I was pleasantly surprised to see a large bonus in my paycheck. The following Christmases, after we knew each other better, I got gift cards to stores the family knew I liked and my children were given fancy Christmas dresses. When I found out my letter carrier liked Cherry Coke, I gave him a six-pack of cans for Christmas. 

Although, one time I got a Christmas bonus of a microfiber throw blanket (not as a service worker, in an office)... some co-workers commented they'd seen the same throws at Costco for very cheap, much less than previous years' holiday bonuses... the office manager was later arrested for embezzlement. You don't need to break the bank to give a thank you gift if you feel so inclined--as these people are doing their jobs and hopefully being paid well to do so, you don't need to give anything at all. But whatever you do, don't embezzle to do it!

Planning for the Future...Way in the Future

Nostalgia is powerfully evocative. If you can, you might want to consider hanging on to some things for the future. For example...

GET IT BEFORE YOU FORGET IT

If you get a brilliant idea for a perfect gift, get it sooner rather than later. At least write it down so you won't forget. I've had a Christmas present waiting since the end of December 2019, because I had the opportunity to get it then and didn't want to miss it. I also have a book that I'll pair with a knit baby blanket when a particular friend has a baby--it's a story about a present being broken on the way to a party, the same way the gift I gave my friend for her wedding shower broke.

Plus, the gift that broke--a tea set from her registry--was an inside joke from our childhood

In the past, I've also saved things I found at secondhand stores, waiting for the right time. Once I found a book about a duck family and put it away for when my brother had his first child (like my friend, I knew he wanted a family). He almost got a little teary when I gave it to him and his wife after they announced a baby was on the way--six years after I found the book.


PLAN AHEAD

Some gifts might take a while. Making vanilla extract only takes two ingredients, but requires months to be ready to use. When I grew a cutting of my great-grandparents' houseplant that I inherited for my grandfather (their son) as a birthday present, I needed to start growing it several weeks in advance. Last Christmas, I gave some of my family pumpkin and watermelon seeds from my garden. That meant that when I harvested the plants, I had to remember to set aside the seeds, let them dry, and package them to last until the following spring. I lost them twice in that time! Fortunately I found them again both times, but I should have learned the lesson the first time. I plan to do the same with flower seeds in the future, and I have a better system now!

Be on the lookout for things that can be used for gifts. Bits of wedding invitations can become custom Christmas ornaments. When I knitted dishcloths for party favors at baby showers for my nieces and nephews, I saved a few to give them for housewarming presents when they're adults.

Labeled, just in case

Think of things to mark the passage of time for anniversaries or birthdays, like things made in specific years.

This proof set is from the year I got married--I already gave my husband the penny on our first anniversary, the nickel on our fifth, and the dime on our tenth. The quarters will wait for our twenty-fifth, but I'll likely not wait for a fiftieth anniversary for the half dollar, and definitely not for a hundredth anniversary for the dollar!

You might also have access to some special memorabilia, like clothing or jewelry that belonged to a deceased loved one. Personal effects can be given as is or made into keepsakes, like a throw pillow made from fabric cut from a favorite shirt or earrings made into suncatchers.

I made these throw pillows from fabric a friend's late mother had saved:
one for my friend, one for each of her grandchildren

Plus a few bookmarks and a Christmas ornament from the last few

These medals belonged to my late aunt. I've kept them safe, and have been passing them along when my siblings and cousins have children, so her great-nieces and -nephews have something of hers

SCHEDULE IT

If you want to mark a particular occasion, leave yourself reminders. Paper or electronic calendars are good options, and some email services let you schedule emails for later. As in the picture of the dishcloths, I label gifts that I'm saving. Aside from the possibility I might forget why I'm saving something, there's a chance I'll need to trust someone else to take care of it for me after I'm gone.

Reminders are also good for gifts that require several steps. My parents have three kids; when the last of us was about to get married, I had an idea to get pictures of us siblings together at each of our weddings and put them in a nice frame for a Christmas present. I had gotten married eleven years before and my wedding pictures were taken on film, and unusually sized film at that--plus since I hadn't been planning this already, I needed to zoom in on one of the pictures to crop just us. I ended up having to track down a specialty photo place and wait a few weeks for them to get the pictures developed, and they were also able to make other prints for Mother's Day (Mom with each of us at our weddings), Father's Day (Dad with each of us), and the following Christmas (Mom and Dad at each wedding and at theirs, since that Christmas was shortly before a milestone wedding anniversary. It would have been easier if I'd thought to get those poses at the time, instead of hoping there was something salvageable more than a decade later!

SAVE IT

What do you with a gift while you hold on to it for months or years? You need a dedicated spot to keep it, so it won't get lost. My sister-in-law has a shelf in her closet, I keep two boxes under my bed--whatever works for you. Just be sure it's safe!

Christmas on the left, everything else on the right