Gifts for Families

With having nieces and nephews, I find it fun to give a gift the family can enjoy. My own family receives gifts for everyone as well, which we also appreciated.

MOVIE NIGHT

You have several options here. For going out, you can give gift cards to movie theaters (or to a play, if the family's children can sit through one) that will cover tickets and snacks or to a drive-in plus some popcorn. You can give a subscription to an online streaming service or a gift card to a rental company like Redbox with movie snacks. If you know what sort of movies the family likes and doesn't yet have, give the treats with the movie itself. Depending on your budget, you could even give some blankets or pillows to sit under or on while watching a movie at home.

For a fun presentation, you can pick up a popcorn tub at a dollar store to wrap the gift in.

EXPERIENCES AND MEMBERSHIPS

If the family lives near a zoo, science center, aquarium, museum, or other such place, you can give a family membership. They're usually good for one year. If that's too much, you can often also find day passes. A place like the YMCA is also great for a membership; it has classes for everyone whether taken individually or together and childcare for when the parents need a break during their own workouts.

There might be a class the family would enjoy taking together, maybe an art or cooking class. A family who enjoys going to the library or farmer's market together could use a tote bag that you buy, sew, knit, crochet, or embroider. Think or ask about what the family likes to do together to get started brainstorming.

There are also play areas specifically geared toward kids. If you know the family likes being able to take their kids places like this, a pass card or membership will be very appreciated. Many indoor play areas require socks--if you knit, handmade socks can be a nice conveyance gift to go along with it.

For families who like outdoor activities, you can give items for a picnic (maybe include a handmade picnic blanket and napkins or homemade trail mix) or a hike. There are lots of little accessories for many outdoor activities that get used quickly--sunscreen, bug spray, camp stove fuel, bicycle inner tubes, flashlight batteries. You'll need to be sure you get the right sizes and specifications. For example, inner tubes must be not only the right diameter and width, but the right valve shape too. If you're unsure of the specifics and don't want to ask, a gift card to a store that sells the right items, like REI, works well. 

Indoor activities can be good ideas, too. Pair a jar of dry ingredients for cookies with some fun cookie cutter shapes, for example. Get plain ceramic cups or plates and food- and oven-safe paint so everyone can decorate them. Give a set of stepping stone kits for everyone to make one. A board game for family game night is fun, too.

Even a gift card to the family's favorite restaurant works well. My kids are always thrilled to know they can get dinner at Spaghetti Factory, and we parents are happy that it's paid for and that the portions are generous enough that it will be dinner the next night, too.

MEMORIES

A family photo album or collage is a nice way to preserve memories. Depending on what you have access to and what the family likes, you can put one together yourself or provide the supplies to do so. For example, a friend of mine likes going camping with her family and to put up pictures of the family, so I've given her a few collage frames that she's since filled with camping pictures.

You can do a lot with family pictures: portraits, mugs, calendars, stationery (one of my aunts prints custom postage stamps from her pictures), home decor, even puzzles. There are many services online and in brick and mortar stores that will help you print gifts.

Another idea is collecting stories or recipes or other such memories from the extended family. I gave my older brother's family an album filled with family recipes, from my side and from my sister-in-law's side (her mom helped). I also sewed matching placemats for the family and got some fun kitchen accessories that I knew my niece and nephews would have fun playing with.

If the family is facing a situation where someone is terminally ill, offer to do some housework or set up a meal train of dinners so they have more time to make memories. When a family member has passed away, do something with the memories you have: write a letter, make a relevant donation, paint or print a picture. If appropriate, offer to use items from the deceased in a way that shares memories, like a quilt or stuffed toy made from the person's clothes or decorative pieces and ornaments made from jewelry.

A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE

If you think a single item won't work for the whole family, you can still make several smaller gifts fit the same thing. You can get each person a specific Christmas ornament or book tailored to individual tastes, or make pillowcases or other items in each person's favorite color or motif. Just don't let your desire for it to be a family gift end up leaving a person out--it wouldn't be fun to feel like the black sheep when the gift gets opened. A well-thought-out family gift, however, will give the family something to enjoy together.

Gifts that Miss the Mark

Unfortunately, not every gift is going to be the right one, no matter how hard you try. Some tips to lessen the chances:

THE RECIPIENT CAN'T USE IT

-Food or drinks that your recipient is allergic to, can't have due to health or religious or ethical reasons.

-Tickets to events or places the recipient can't get to.

-Experiences requiring mobility or health the recipient doesn't have.

-Items meant to be outside for people who don't have yards.

-Gifts in other languages that your recipient doesn't understand.

-Re-gifted items embroidered or otherwise marked with someone else's name, wedding date, etc.

OBLIGATIONS

-Gifts that require time, like concert tickets if you're not sure the recipient wants to go.

-Craft items the recipient can't or doesn't want to use.

-Items meant to be worn or displayed that you insist on seeing used--you have to be okay with the idea that your recipient might use things differently or pass them along to someone who would enjoy it.

-Precious heirlooms that are special to you but not the recipient. There may be someone else in the family who would like it more.

-Animals, and to a lesser extent, plants. 

IT'S INNAPROPRIATE

-Gifts meant for someone younger or older than the recipient, like baby toys for a ten-year-old.

-Clothing in the wrong size or wrong style.

-Super expensive gifts that make the recipient feel awkward receiving or obligated to make up to you.

-Obviously cheap presents that leave the recipient feeling like an afterthought. Note that I don't mean you have to spend a lot, but if I only had five dollars to spend for my dad's birthday, I know he'd be happier with some candy bars than a tacky bumper sticker. If I had no spare cash, a phone call would be much better than some worn-out thing I could dig up from the closet.

-Gifts that you yourself would prefer instead of ones that show you took your recipient's taste into account. Doubly so if you live with the recipient so you end up using it instead.

-Donations to a cause the recipient doesn't support.

A JOKE THAT FALLS FLAT

-Not realizing the gift exchange is meant to be nice gifts instead of gag gifts (this is more on the host of the gift exchange, but always clarify if the theme isn't mentioned).

-Clothing or home decor with sayings that are funny to you but too risque or bland for the recipient.

GIFTS WITH ULTERIOR MOTIVES

-Books or other items meant to "hint" at the recipient's perceived failings, like etiquette books or weight-loss items.

-Many self-help gifts if given out of the blue. Even if your marriage has benefited from counseling or affair prevention books, don't give such things to newlyweds unless they're requested. Offering advice is one thing, assuming everyone has the same stumbling blocks you do is different.

-Basic cleaning products, in most cases. A fancy bar of soap is luxurious, a plain bar of soap by itself is insulting. A new mop, broom, and floor cleaner are nice for someone moving into a first apartment, the same to someone who already has those is a not-so-subtle dig at the state of one's home.

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING

-I used to make beaded bells for my grandmother, at her request. One year, she slipped the two I made that Christmas into a display case and declared, "There, now it's full and looks perfect." She didn't need any more, and found a nice way to tell me. 

-Loads of food that has to be eaten right away and can't be frozen for later.

-Knick knacks, jewelry, hobby accessories, decorations, and other non-consumables that your recipient already has a lot of.

WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE GIFT?

Whether you give or receive a gift you can't use, there's no real obligation to keep it. Thank you notes should be sent (depending on circumstances, emailed or texted thanks can be appropriate) acknowledging the thought put into the gift. For gifts intended to be an insult...feel free to be sarcastic in thanking or fake obtuseness regarding the gift.

Food can be donated to food banks or places like fire stations and most other things can be donated or sold. If the gift was bought and you know where, see if you can return it for cash or store credit. Depending on the relationship between the gift giver and the recipient, it's possible to gently point out why the gift won't work and give it back or suggest someone who might appreciate it more.

Some people say you should never re-gift, but I think it's fine with certain precautions. Be sure the gift isn't personalized to you, with your initials or birth date or something similar. Re-gift to someone in a different social circle so whoever gave it to you first doesn't see someone else being given it. Make sure it's still appropriate for whoever you re-gift it too.

You want your gifts to be enjoyed, so make sure they're gifts, not edicts.