Gifts for Graduates

When a young adult is embarking on the next stage of life, the easiest gift is cash. And it's certainly appreciated! Bonus points if the graduate's next step is in another country and you can get some foreign bills at a bank--check ahead of time, it might take a week or more for those bills to be available. If you feel the need to give a more personalized touch, here are some ideas:

GIFT CARDS

Not very different from cash, gift cards can feel more personal because they can be tailored to specific interests and needs. Is the new graduate moving to another city for college, trade school, or work? Gift cards for restaurants, grocery stores, and home furnishing and appliance stores in their new cities can help set up a new apartment. If you're looking for a more fun gift card, consider movie theaters, live theaters, gaming centers, museums, zoos, and other entertainment in the area. Out-of-town stores can often send gift cards through the mail via their websites or over the phone (you might need to offer another dollar or so to cover a stamp and an envelope for small stores). Graduates staying close to home will also appreciate a grown-up or fun reward to celebrate their hard work

If the new graduate is studying or working in a specific field that will require certain supplies, you can give a gift card to a store that sells them: art supply store for the art student, dry cleaning or tailoring vouchers for uniformed service members like police officers or military members, certificates for tools for someone apprenticed to a carpenter, contributions to the university bookstore for people majoring in fields that have lots of expensive books like law and medicine. Giving a gift card rather than the specific item allows the graduate to not worry about duplicate gifts and getting the exact item needed.

MEMENTOS

Especially if they're leaving behind a lot of good memories and friends, many graduates will appreciate a memento of home. If the graduate is moving, be mindful of how much might need to be packed and transported, and how far, before giving a large gift.

Mementos don't have to be huge. A photo collage or scrap book, maybe even signed by the people in the pictures, is a nice way to remember friends embarking on their own paths. A card signed by everyone can also be touching--when my brother graduated high school and moved a few states away for college, I was able to get a lot of his friends to sign a birthday card to send him. He really loved reading all their thoughtful comments a few months into his first significant time away from where he'd always lived.

You can make other mementos, like sewn, knitted, or crocheted blankets or throw pillows in the graduate's high school or college colors, or with designs relating to the graduate's field of study or work (for example, anchors for someone joining the navy). Maybe a pair of earrings or cufflinks with the same themes would be appreciated, or a wall hanging or other decor. Depending on your talents and time, you can make these sorts of things yourself or look to online craft shops like Etsy.

CELEBRATING THE ACCOMPLISHMENT

Regardless of what the graduate's plans for the future are, finishing high school or college is a lot of work. (Some people mark smaller graduations, from preschool or middle school, for example, but in my experience the biggest gift "expected" for those is a treat on the way home from school that day. If you feel compelled to give something larger, you'll obviously want to gear that towards the child's age.)

The new graduate might be heading to work right away. Gifts that allow a person to indulge a bit have special meaning if there are financial pressures. Think about what the graduate enjoys and see if you can facilitate that. If the financial pressures are great, think about gifts that can help with essentials too. And even if the graduate is simply eager to join the workforce, a gift that helps someone feel "allowed" to relax is very nice.

Is the graduate planning a fun trip? Contributions for gasoline, road atlases (not everywhere has wifi signals), or brochures about where they're traveling can be useful. You can often contact a city or county's tourism office and get information mailed to you for free. Maybe a photo album to commemorate the trip, or offering to pay to have one made--Facebook has an option to print photo books from the pictures stored on a person's profile.

Is there a party to celebrate the graduate's achievement? Maybe you can help make some food for it, or help set up or clean up the party. Even just attending and saying congratulations can mean a lot. If you can't make it, write a letter and mail it. People appreciate knowing that they matter to others.

SETTING UP FOR ADULT LIFE

Gifts geared toward new adult responsibilities are especially helpful for those moving out on their own or who will be expected to contribute to the household more. Cash and gift cards are probably more useful for those not moving out of their childhood homes yet or those who will be moving right into dorms or military barracks where many essentials are provided, but are certainly also good for those living on their own or with roommates for the first time (and easy to mail). 

Someone setting up in a new home will definitely appreciate a "gift basket" of cleaning supplies, kitchen staples, yard tools (if they have a yard), or toiletries. Think about what you use every day (like pots, pans, utensils, mops, brooms, towels, etc) and what you don't often need to buy because it's already at your home in bulk (spices, toilet paper, etc). When I graduated high school, one of my aunts gave me a tool kit. I lent it many people in the dorm, and still have it today, more than a decade after I finished college.

A graduate entering the workforce would likely benefit from help setting up a proper work wardrobe, whether the need is specific uniforms or durable suits. Depending on the job, a sturdy portfolio, quality pen, briefcase, laptop case, messenger bag, or other similar item might be necessary. If the job requires travel, consider suitcases, travel drink cups, AAA membership, options for entertainment during travel like iTunes or Netflix gift cards, books, and other such items.

If none of these ideas jump out at you, think about what you might have received or wanted as a gift when you entered the adult world. What was helpful or meaningful for you?

If You Can Bake, Cook, or Brew, You Can Make...

Food is a great gift if you know your recipient's dietary restrictions. Whether it's a little treat or a full meal, food is a great way to show people that they're appreciated and cared for.

Sweets and small food gifts are great for holidays, birthdays, and saying thanks, congratulations, or welcome. Cookies, candy, brownies, fudge, jam, seasonings and rubs, infused vinegar or oils, vanilla extract, syrups (either for dessert toppings or in drinks), homemade beverages and beverage mixes, bread and pastries; even food grown in your garden. It's always nice to have a little treat.

Providing a home-cooked meal is a great way to help out busy people, like new parents or people who have just moved or who are busy planning events. Not having to worry about what to make for dinner can help people cope with difficult times like drawn-out medical issues or relax and enjoy happy occasions.

You might able to make something extra-special to eat. Old family recipes are great for this: my mom's side of the family always loves getting my great-great-aunt's secret recipe cookies, and my dad's side appreciates the nostalgia of getting a loaf of the bread my great-great-grandmother made for Sunday dinners. If you know someone's favorite food, see if it can be used in a new sort of recipe or given another kind of twist. My sister-in-law likes rhubarb, so rhubarb cake and strawberry rhubarb pie are obvious choices, but rhubarb syrup that can be poured over pancakes or ice cream is a more fun gift to give. Use fun cookie cutters and colored icing to make a delicious bouquet of flowers or special molds to make shaped candies or cupcakes. You can find themed recipes, like a batch of Italian Wedding Soup for an anniversary present.

Regardless of what kind of food you're giving, make it easier on your recipient by giving it in a container that you don't need back. This can be as simple as wrapping a lasagna in heavy foil or as intricate as packing everything in a picnic basket, utensils included. As with any food gift, take into consideration allergies and intolerances, religious and health restrictions, and how long the food will be refrigerated.

Gifts for: Teachers and Other School Employees

Whether you're a student or the parent of one, you will probably find it appropriate to give teachers and school employees gifts once in a while. Right off the bat, the first thing you should do is check your school's policy: some may not allow gifts above a certain monetary amount, or ban homemade food, or not allow gifts at all. 

With that in mind...

HOMEMADE

A caution here: the teacher or other school employee likely has many students. If every student gives the bus driver a knitted scarf, it's going to be difficult for the driver to use the few dozen scarves. Before you craft something, consider whether your recipient will be able to appreciate your effort. Smaller, consumable gifts are safest. If policy allows, food, especially food that can be frozen and enjoyed when the recipient feels it's best, is a great choice. Cookies, bread, homegrown vegetables or flowers; just consider allergies.

That said, I have made non-consumable gifts that were well-received. My oldest child's kindergarten teacher had a classroom mascot, a bee called Super Bee. When it was our turn to have it for an evening, I took some measurements and sewed a superhero cape, which we gave the teacher for Christmas. Later in the year, the teacher had to have surgery and take some time off, and another parent crocheted her a blanket to help keep her comfortable during the recovery (we gave her a gift card to a pizza place that time). I'm not trying to say that you're not allowed to make a present, just that you should be aware that other students are likely to give presents as well. You don't want to overwhelm your recipient.

Common homemade gifts include Christmas ornaments (do check that your recipient celebrates Christmas), accessories like hats and gloves, picture frames, household goods like pillows, hot pads, and throws, and, more often in the case of young students, drawings and notes. Smaller objects that might wear out faster, like dishcloths, are a better bet than big ones unless you know the recipient well. On the other hand, if you're giving a gift to someone who interacts with fewer students like a paraeducator or someone less likely to receive gifts like the school librarian, you don't need to be as concerned.

I mentioned notes in the previous paragraph. I have family members who are teachers, and one thing they cherish is notes from students about the positive impacts they've made. And having been a coach and gotten a few of those myself, they are priceless. I still have them almost a decade later, with the framed pictures of the teams--the athletes signed the frames, too.

STOREBOUGHT

Again, be sure you don't overwhelm your recipient. One can only use so many "BEST TEACHER" coffee mugs. A first year teacher, maybe. A twenty-year veteran? Probably less likely.

Teachers I know love gifts they can use in their classrooms. When we moved to a different state in the middle of a school year, I made sure to grab pens and pads of stationery from the souvenir section of a drug store. We gave them to the teacher in the new state just before the holiday break. She used them for sending notes home to parents. We gave one speech therapist stickers, which were used to mark students' progress, and another a ten dollar gift card to Michaels, because she used craft supplies so often.

Speaking of gift cards--they are wonderful for school employees. It's unlikely you know the bus driver well enough to pick up on his favorite colors or the principal well enough to find out her shoe size for knitted socks. But everyone needs to eat, and most employees who do classroom work with students can use funds for stores that sell art and school supplies.

Include a note, even a short one. Most people working in education are doing so because they want to help students, and knowing they've made a positive impact is a great gift. 

Sewing Tutorial: Child's Apron

My kids like to play with their toy kitchen, and help in the real one, too. Although I rarely use an apron (I should though; I spill a lot), they like to. Here's a quick way to make an apron with less than a yard of fabric, which will be a good size for child about seven to ten years old.

SUPPLIES

1/2 yard of fabric
Ribbon, if desired

DIRECTIONS

As always, wash and iron the fabric. Cut two squares, one ten inches by ten inches and the other fifteen inches by fifteen inches. Cut the remaining fabric into three-inch wide strips.

Sew the short ends of the strips together, making one long strip. Fold it in half lengthwise and iron to form a crease. Open and fold the raw edges to the center crease. Iron again.

Using some of the strips, sew a binding along the top and sides of the ten inch square and the bottom and sides of the fifteen inch square.

The remaining strips will be the tie around the waist and the loop to slip over the head. Sew the strips lengthwise so they don't open. Serge or zig-zag the ends too.

Sew on the ties and loop. If desired, you could use wide grosgrain ribbon for this part.

Now you'll attach the skirt to the top. Using a ruler and disappearing ink, mark the two raw edges at their halfway points, then halfway between that and the edge, and halfway between those, for a total of seven marks evenly spaced along the raw edges. Match up the points right sides together, and sew the two piece to each other. Serge or zig-zag the raw edge.

Iron, and you're done! If you want, you could applique a design or pocket for some extra flair.

Gift Traditions and Legends

There are some fun traditions and legends associated with certain gifts. Here are a few:

-Always put something in a purse or wallet, lest it always be empty (I like gift cards in small amounts).

-Never actually give a knife as a gift: tape a penny to it for the recipient to give back to you. That way, the knife was bought, and won't "sever the friendship." Some people apply this to other sharp things like scissors.

-Be wary of the curse of the "boyfriend sweater." Some people are hesitant to start a time-consuming project, like knitting a sweater, for a new significant other. The fear is the relationship will break up before you finish the project.

-Shoes are sometimes said to be another bad idea. The recipient may "walk away" from the relationship.

-Many cultures view mirrors as bad luck, for various reasons from their fragility to the risk of seven years of bad luck if the mirror breaks.

-Gifts that are thought to strengthen relationships are sturdy items: wood, especially furniture, and diamonds, as in the classic diamond engagement ring. Silver, gold, and porcelain are said to foreshadow good fortune.

-Certain numbers are good or bad luck in different cultures. Thirteen is unlucky in the Western world, but four is bad luck in China and nine in Japan. But back in China, nine is a lucky number. In much of Asia, eight is lucky; in the West, it's seven. If you're giving several of an item, keep this in mind.

-A traditional house-warming gift is bread, salt, and wine. To quote It's a Wonderful Life: "Bread, that this house may never know hunger; salt, that life may always have flavor; wine, that joy and prosperity may reign forever."

-The first gift a bride opens at a bridal shower should be the first one she uses, for good luck. Whoever gives the third gift will have a baby soon.

-For gift wrapping, certain colors have specific meanings in certain cultures. Purple is bad luck in Italy; yellow with black writing is used at funerals in some parts of Asia, and white, black, and blue are also mourning colors in most of Asia. Black and purple are mourning colors in South America.

If You are an Artist, You Can Make...

Being able to create art is a wonderful talent, and a great way to make personalized and customized gifts. There are myriad possibilities.

HOME DECOR

Provided you know your recipient's tastes well enough, a piece of framed artwork is a lovely addition to a home. It's also a fun way to celebrate major milestones, like new babies or weddings. One of my mom's friends works drawing houses for a real estate company; when my older brother got married she drew professional pictures of his and his wife's childhood homes. One of my aunts is a professional photographer, and she's put together some inspiring pictures of family members, landscapes, and even one series of plants--may sound odd, but they're beautiful. 

If you're unsure quite what would be best, you could also offer your services to paint a family portrait or something similar. Explain you'd love to make something, but you want to be sure it fits with your recipient's aesthetic. Be prepared for some people to decline (politely, I hope).

Lots of people like inspirational quotes and images; if you have talent in graphic design, calligraphy, or wood-working this could be a good avenue for you. I have a few friends who make gorgeous home decor like this. 

If your talent leans more toward three dimensional pieces, decorative bowls, vases, candle holders, frames, paperweights, coasters, or other such items work well. Small boxes or bowls to hold things like keys, jewelry, and coins are useful and easy to store. If your items are more utilitarian, make sure your recipient knows that, for example, the plate can safely hold food without leeching anything into food, and how to care for it (handwashing vs dishwasher, proper kinds of soap). Little trinkets like prisms, whose primary purpose is to be beautiful, are also good ideas.

OUTDOOR ITEMS

A family moving to a new house might appreciate a handmade address sign, stepping stones, decorated planting pots, wind chimes, bird feeder, or garden sculpture. Of course, be sure your recipient knows the pieces are safe for the outdoor weather, and take a moment to think about the climate and any pets who might try to chew on something.

OTHER IDEAS

You might be able to craft toys or even board games for children, or make a piece reflecting the child's favorite animal or hobby. You might even be able to illustrate a short book. For babies, perhaps a piece to help parents mark milestones like the first time a baby sits up, smiles, crawls, etc.

I have a few family members who make stationery. Whether made with rubber stamps, graphic design programs, found items like pressed flowers, individual drawings and paintings, homemade paper, other card cut into collage pieces, or anything in between, they're useful and beautiful.

Gifts for: Grandparents

By the time people reach grandparent age, they usually have all the "stuff" they want (and sometimes more!). For this reason, I like to stick to either consumables or small gifts with nostalgic or sentimental significance. 

CONSUMABLE IDEAS

Restaurant gift cards are easy, and easy doesn't mean bad. Both my grandfathers were raised during the Great Depression--a free meal is always nice. You can also consider gift cards for massages, manicures, housekeeping, golf courses, sports events, music or television streaming services, and other events and services.

For other ideas, think of your grandparents' favorite foods. My paternal grandfather, upon learning I like to cook, gave me the recipe for his mother's bread. I was a teenager, and guess what recipe I knew I'd be pulling out every Father's Day, Grandpa's birthday, and Christmas? My maternal grandfather loves unusual and spicy foods, so any display of unconventional food gets a once-over from me. He also has a favorite recipe, "Sacred Cake" without which his birthday is incomplete. Do you grandparents like coffee, and is there a roaster nearby? Tea, snacks, sweets? You could put together jars of dry ingredients for baked goods, if you know your grandparents enjoy baking. Be mindful of dietary restrictions like diabetes, but if there's a treat you know you can find or make, you're set.

For non-edibles, consider stationery, candles, soap, tickets to events or places (and they don't necessarily need to be "for old people;" so long as you know your grandparents would like it, why not tickets to an amusement park or zoo?), art supplies, bulbs and seeds for flowers and other plants, cosmetics, and maybe even help setting up Skype or Facetime or something similar to talk to family members who are far away.

GIFTS REPRESENTING YOUR HOME

A simple idea, great for a group of siblings and/or cousins, is a collection of little gifts representing where you live, especially if there are several locations involved. For example, one year, my two siblings and I each lived in a different state from our grandparents. We gave them three potholders, one representing each state (Arizona, Hawaii, and Texas), and a small consumable gift from each one: Arizona's Fairytale Brownies (a fantastic gift on their own; they're delicious), Hawaiian-made honey, and a Texas snack mix.

If you're looking for very specific fabrics, eBay is a good place to start--you can usually find fat quarters or by-the-yard cuts of an amazing assortment of oddly specific fabrics. In this instance, the Hawaiian fabric was found in a store in Honolulu (Fabric Mart, which has an online shop), and the Texas and Arizona prints were from eBay. Another great website is Spoonflower.

This way, the grandparents had something small and useful as well as fun treats, all of which reminded them of their grandchildren. Most cities and even small towns have some shop with locally-made consumables and/or small items: candles, chocolates, spice mixes, soaps; maybe even a book by a local author or about a place's history or folklore.

GIFTS FROM EVERYONE

If you have lots of cousins and you're close with them, you might be able to get all the grandkids working together for a present. I've done this a few times for grandparents' Christmas presents, and every time not only were the cousins willing to help, they were happy that they didn't need to come up with a gift idea. One year, I had several people help me with knitting afghans. I taught a few how to knit and they did anywhere from a few stitches to a few rows, and others just helped pick colors. 

Our grandmother ended up using this to keep warm during chemotherapy treatments years later;
fortunately she's recovered now.

Another year, I had my cousins send me pictures of their families (aunts and uncles too). Everyone chipped in a bit of money for printing the pictures and for a 100-page 4x6 photo album. At the time, there were a few of us grandchildren were pregnant, so some of the empty pages had sticky notes "saving" them for pictures of the great-grandchildren. We still send pictures now and then to keep the album updated.

Young children can get in on the fun as well. Just recently, I helped my children and my nieces and nephew make stepping stones for my mother-in-law's birthday. I purchased some kits from a craft store that came with cement mix, molds, and stones and glass to set in the cement (and added some of the random buttons and broken jewelry I'd accumulated over the years). Each child decorated a stepping stone and we used the included letter stamps to put their names on their stones. Since my mother-in-law loves gardening, having things in her garden that her grandchildren made was perfect.

Of course, a group gift doesn't need to be elaborate. There have been some Christmases that several of us chip in for a restaurant gift card so our grandparents can enjoy a nice dinner. Every time, regardless of how much work went into a gift, it's fun to write all our names on the "from" section of the gift tag.

GIFTS ABOUT EVERYONE

In my opinion, these are the most fun. I have a large extended family, so if I can think of an idea to showcase all of us, I'm all over it. One I recently saw was in a neighbor's house. She has four children, several grandchildren, and a few great-children. She had a shadowbox with "Counting my Blessings" written across the top, and three labels inside: children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren. Each label had hooks underneath, to hold numbers representing how many of each she had. I might need to do that for my grandparents.

One gift I have made my grandparents is a birthday calendar. If you have the time and inclination, you can make your own. You'll need fourteen screw eyes, several wooden disks (or hearts or whatever shape you want) ideally with two holes already drilled in, small metal rings, hanging wire, a long wooden board, a fine-tipped permanent marker, and paint (I like acrylic best for this). You can also purchase custom ones on sites like Etsy.

Told you it's a big family

While I actually made it, I presented it as from all of us, because I had help from everyone in deciding colors and figuring out birthdays--it was very much a group effort. I was also able to go to a thrift store and buy 50 greeting cards at a dime each: enough for a card for everyone (there are 51 markers up there, but that's including our grandparents themselves and they don't give cards to each other).

Again, these don't need to be big, elaborate endeavors. I find gifts like this fun to plan and make, but I know not everyone does. There was one year we all chipped in for a collage picture frame and put pictures of us in. Our grandparents loved that, too. My in-laws loved the digital picture frame loaded with pictures of the grandkids. And really, the most important thing for them was the time spent with us during the holidays or their birthdays. They absolutely loved the sentiment and thought behind the gifts, but talking with us was the real highlight for them.

Gifts for: Your Parents

As a child, it's usually easy to find gift ideas for parents. Most schoolchildren make little crafts in art class for holidays and Mother's and Father's Days. As you get older though (provided you have a good relationship with your parents), you often want a gift a bit more special or personal. If you know your parents well, thinking of a gift will be easier. If you're stuck, here are some ideas to help you brainstorm.

HANDMADE

Being close to your parents gives you the advantage of having a better chance of knowing or finding out their clothing/accessory preferences and clothing sizes. That information makes picking patterns and colors a lot easier. Just be sure your parent would actually have a use for the item--my dad doesn't wear hats or scarves, so that's not a good gift for me to make him.

Clothing is a fairly personal choice, so you might prefer to make something different. Think about your parent's interests. My dad is a big fan of a particular college sports team, so I used the team colors to write out the college's fight song, motto, and other related things in the shape of its logo. I also did this later with several light bulb jokes (e.g.; "How many hands does it take to change a light bulb? Many, because many hands make light work.") Other sorts of collages can work well, especially if you play on nostalgia, like when my brother spent years saving ticket stubs from Major League Baseball games he went to with my dad. When they had seen every other team play our home team, he put those tickets together in a frame for Father's Day. Hobbies are good wells of ideas too. If your parent cooks and bakes, you can make potholders, pie holders, dish towels, or other kitchen accessories. Several items together can make a nice gift basket.

All the text is light bulb jokes, done in colors to help show the shape of one.

A gift basket I made for my mom: ingredients for raspberry muffins, a knit dishcloth, "pinch, smidgen, and dash" measuring spoon, and muffin forms in the shape of her favorite flowers.

Food itself is also a great gift. My dad has a sweet tooth, so homemade cookies are always a hit. He also loves my lasagna recipe. When I do make dinner for my parents (for example, for my mom's surgery last month), I like to include dessert as well.

One other idea, especially if you're on a budget: write a letter. My brother did this for our mom's birthday his first year away at college, and now Mom wants one every year.

PICTURES

Photographs of family members are often a good starting point. They sort of straddle the line between handmade and storebought, leaning one way or the other depending on what you do with them. Our mom loved getting childhood pictures of us with Santa, so the year I went to visit my brother's family out of state, we all posed in front of his neighbor's Santa decoration and got the picture printed for Mom. If you have siblings (and everyone gets along with each other), you might want to remake a childhood photograph or two, posing in the same place with similar clothing several years after the original was taken. This past Christmas, we gave my parents a set of three pictures: the three of us at each of our weddings. My brother took this a step further--our dad has a picture of his great-uncle standing by a particular rock at a national park, and one of him by the same rock. My brother got a picture of himself in the same place and pose, and had all three of the pictures put together in a nice frame. 

A scrapbook or collage can be nice. You can upload various pictures onto sites that make custom calendars, mugs, puzzles, blankets, mousepads, Christmas ornaments, and other items. Going back to my dad, while there's not much I can sew or knit for him (having already knit him two afghans), he looks forward to getting a calendar with pictures of all his kids and grandkids each Christmas, especially since we live in different states. Shutterfly has a yearly promotion around the end of November for this, so my brothers and I just upload a dozen pictures each to our shared account, arrange them on the right months, and have it mailed to me (because I live closest to our parents). 

STOREBOUGHT

A gift need not be forged by your own two hands to be special. The important part is showing that you care enough to try to think of something the recipient of your gift will enjoy. For the past several years, my mom has requested a membership to a sewing club for Christmas. Split between us kids, it's not expensive. 

One of my dad's favorite gifts is gift cards to restaurants. He enjoys taking people out to eat, and knows that if suggests a particular place because he has a gift card, whoever he invites is less likely to feel indebted for the meal. My godfather is similar--when his (adult) children ask him for ideas for Father's Day, Christmas, or his birthday, he requests a gift card to a place they both like so they can go together and spend some time catching up.

Other storebought ideas to get you thinking: consumables or decorations from your hometown (this works better if you don't live where your parents do), particular things that catch your eye you know they'd like (for example, my dad likes to write notes and he wears a tie to work--I've gotten stationery and a tie with his favorite sports team on them),or any items they've mentioned they would like--a gift doesn't need to be a surprise.

Throwing a Baby Shower

Not everyone marks new babies with showers, but if someone close to you (it's generally frowned upon to throw your own shower) is expecting and you feel like celebrating, here are some pointers:


TIMELINE

Generally, showers I’ve hosted go like this:

First hour:
Guests arrive
Socializing/snacking
Maybe a game to break the ice or introductions if people don’t know each other (”I’m Sally, I’ve known Jane since high school.” ”I’m Mary, Jane’s aunt.”)

Second hour:
Open presents
Maybe another game (easy thing to do is set a timer during gift opening, and whoever’s present is being opened when it goes off gets a little gift; you can set it more than once)
More socializing and snacking as people gradually leave

WHO TO INVITE

Showers are traditionally events for women, although co-ed showers exist, and the guests of honor may well not include women at all. For the stereotypical female-only shower, think about inviting mothers, grandmothers, sisters/-in-law, aunts and cousins, and friends. If men are also invited, extend the list appropriately: fathers, grandfathers, etc. (Of course, not everyone has a good relationship with their families; you should exclude people who are abusive) Ask the guest of honor for a list, and suggest these to start. As to whether you should invite men as well; check with your guest of honor.

Send out the invitations about a month in advance, after clearing the date with the guest of honor (early to mid-third trimester is good; the expectant mother is likely to be more tired after that; or a month or two after the due date and make it a Meet the Baby party; especially good for adopted children). Make sure to send one to your guest of honor as well--imagine the mother-to-be not knowing when or where to show up! Of course, you will want to be keeping her in the dark for a surprise shower, but think carefully before doing that. A surprise shower means that she won't be able to remind to invite her godmother or tell you that her aunt is allergic to chocolate; she won't be prepared for being the center of attention, she might have other plans, and she won't be dressed for the occasion. If she's really hoping for a shower and never hears any plans for one, she might feel forgotten before she realizes the surprise. Some people love surprise parties, but unless you're sure, don't risk it.

GAMES

Have two to three games IF the guest of honor wants them. The best ones don't interrupt the flow of the party.

Gift bingo is good, or you can have a timer go off every three minutes or so during gift opening (the giver of the gift being opened “wins”), especially if there are a lot of gifts. 

Or give everyone a safety pin and set a rule like “no crossing your hands” or “no elbows on the table” and anyone who catches another guest “breaking” a rule gets that person’s safety pin; the guest with the most after X time wins.

Another easy game is guessing the baby food. Take labels off jars of baby food and number them, have people guess based on color--but don’t open them. Give the parent(s) the answer key so the baby can eat the food later. Most babies start food around 4-6 months.

Guests can match the names of baby animals to their parents (e.g.; baby echidnas are puggles). 

One guests can do any time is guessing how many small candies are in a baby bottle.

Unless specifically requested, stay away from melting candy bars in diapers (wastes the diaper and the candy) or guessing how big around Mom is (she probably feels big enough already). If you have the ability to follow through with a prize at a later date, you can also take bets on when the baby will be born.

Not really a game, but a fun activity, is decorating onesies. Get a few in different sizes and some fabric pens, and some magazines or hardcover books to give people a good coloring surface, if a table isn’t available. 

If you play games, have prizes for the winner, and don't forget to account for ties. Remember, neither the parents nor the host can win (although they can play). Easy prizes include soap, lotion, $5 coffee gift cards, fancy candles, a set of blank note cards (for writing letters, or for taking notes), a set of small rubber stamps, some fancy soap and lotion, some small candles, that sort of thing. If you do a guess-how-many-candies-are-in-the-bottle, the winner can get the candy (bring a bag if you want to keep the bottle).

FAVORS

Showers typically have little favors. Consumables are best (lotions, soap, candies, candles). I’ve knitted up dishcloths; those go over well. Flower seeds or seedlings are good too, especially if the baby is due in the spring: you can watch your flower grow with the baby. If the baby is due near Christmas and the attendees celebrate it, you can get one-inch diameter ornaments at places like Michaels and paint them in the nursery colors or the parents’ favorite colors.

FOOD

What sort of food? Go for brunch if it’s around 11:00 (fruit, donuts, quiches; that sort of thing) or light snacks for an afternoon party (cheese and cracker platter, cut vegetables, etc). If you don’t plan it for a meal time, you won’t have to serve a full meal. Remember that some foods and drinks are off-limits for pregnant women, like certain soft cheeses and alcohol. Have at least some things that the guest honor can enjoy.

Serve dessert while the parent(s) is(are) opening presents. Have someone keep a list of who gives what. You can get or make thank you notes or postcards, stamped and addressed (don’t have the other guests address the envelopes themselves, it will be Talked About), so that all parent(s) has(have) to do is write “Thanks for the X; Baby will love it!”

SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS

Second, third, etc baby: Some cultures only give showers for first babies, or only the first baby of each sex. I don't see a problem with celebrating each baby myself, but I like parties. I have both thrown and been given smaller parties for subsequent babies, which we called baby sprinkles. The expectant mothers were all just as excited, but didn't need as much of the big stuff, like cribs. Gifts for sprinkles are more along the lines of things that couldn't be handed down, like disposable diapers, formula, and baby food. You can also frame it as a Meet the Baby party, with less or no focus on gifts.

Shower for a "Rainbow Baby": A Rainbow Baby is a baby born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, or other infant or child death. Be sensitive to the parents' needs when asking if they'd like a shower. Some people may prefer to wait until the baby is born, some may want their deceased child mentioned in some way--there's no wrong way to grieve a child, so follow the parents' lead.

Celebrating an older child: Many adopted children are welcomed into their families at older ages. If you're throwing a shower for a parent or parents whose child isn't a baby, make that fact clear on the invitations, for example, Toddler Shower or Teenager Shower. Gifts would necessarily be geared toward the appropriate age group.

Throwing a Wedding Shower

Not everyone marks weddings with showers, but if someone close to you (it's generally frowned upon to throw your own shower) is engaged and you feel like celebrating, here are some pointers:

TIMELINE

Generally, showers I’ve hosted go like this:

First hour:
Guests arrive
Socializing/snacking
Maybe a game to break the ice and/or introductions if people don’t know each other (If there are a lot of people who don’t know each other, get the “formal” part of the party started by having guests introduce themselves by how they know the bride. "I’m Sally, I’ve known Jane since high school." "I’m Mary, Jane’s aunt.")

Second hour:
Open presents
Maybe another game
More socializing and snacking as people gradually leave

WHO TO INVITE

Showers are traditionally events for women, although co-ed showers exist, and the guests of honor may well not include women at all. For the stereotypical female-only shower, think about inviting mothers, grandmothers, sisters/-in-law, aunts and cousins, and friends. If men are also invited, extend the list appropriately: fathers, grandfathers, etc. (Of course, not everyone has a good relationship with their families; you should exclude people who are abusive)

Ask the guest of honor for a list, and suggest these to start. I say that because I asked a friend for an invite list for her bridal shower and we both forgot to invite her fiance’s mother! As to whether you should invite men as well; check with you guest of honor. Only invite people who have been invited to the wedding, with some exception for destination weddings, as fewer people can make it.

Send out the invitations about a month in advance, after clearing the date with the guest of honor. Make sure to send one to your guest of honor as well--imagine the bride-to-be not knowing when or where to show up! Of course, you will want to be keeping her in the dark for a surprise shower, but think carefully before doing that. A surprise shower means that she won't be able to remind to invite her godmother or tell you that her aunt is allergic to chocolate; she won't be prepared for being the center of attention, she might have other plans, and she won't be dressed for the occasion. If she's really hoping for a shower and never hears any plans for one, she might feel forgotten before she realizes the surprise. Some people love surprise parties, but unless you're sure, don't risk it.

GAMES 

Have two to three games IF the bride wants them. If you play games, have prizes for the winner. Remember, neither the guest of honor nor the host can win, although they can play. Easy prizes include soap, lotion, $5 coffee gift cards, fancy candles, a set of blank note cards (for writing letters or for taking notes), a set of small rubber stamps, that sort of thing. Don't forget to account for ties.

The best games don't interrupt the flow of the party. Gift bingo is good, or you can have a timer go off every three minutes or so during gift opening (the giver of the gift being opened “wins”), especially if there are a lot of gifts. Or give everyone a safety pin and set a rule like “no crossing your hands” or “no elbows on the table” and anyone who catches another guest “breaking” a rule gets that person’s safety pin; the guest with the most after X time wins.

I’ve also done a game with extreme close-up pictures of wedding-related things, like a diamond seen through an electron scanning microscope; guests are to guess what the pictures are of (word bank optional). 

Another game is setting out common kitchen items on a tray, like salad tongs, a spatula, a dishcloth and letting the group observe it for a few minutes. Then hide it and whoever can write down the most items wins.

You can also fill a toasting flute with small candies and whoever guesses the amount closest wins (and wins the candy--have a bag ready if you don't want to part with the flute).

FAVORS

Showers typically have little favors. Consumables are best (lotions, soap, candies, candles). I’ve knitted up dishcloths in wedding colors; those go over well. Flower seeds or seedlings are good too, especially if they're of flowers that will be at the wedding. If the wedding is near Christmas and the attendees celebrate it, you can get one-inch diameter ornaments at places like Michaels and paint them in the wedding colors.

FOOD 

What sort of food? Go for brunch if it’s around 11:00 (fruit, donuts, quiches; that sort of thing) or light snacks for an afternoon party (cheese and cracker platter, cut vegetables, etc). If you don’t plan it for a meal time, you won’t have to serve a full meal.

Serve dessert while the guest of honor is opening presents. Have someone keep a list of who gives what. You can get or make thank you notes or postcards, stamped and addressed (don’t have the other guests address the envelopes themselves, it will be Talked About), so that all guest of honor has to do is write “Thanks for the X; we'll think of you when we use it!”