STRAIGHT CASH
In many cases, the immediate need is money. People might need a hotel to stay in while escaping an abuser, new clothes after surviving a fire with only their pajamas, or food and medication to make it through to the next day. When people can choose their own things to buy, it ensures they get the correct items to meet their needs, like correct shoe sizes or things that won't aggravate allergies. It also allows the victims some dignity: asking for help requires a lot of humility. When a wide-spread disaster affects a whole region, buying necessities locally also helps the business owners and employees who are struggling with the same problems. Gift cards are also helpful this way.
Monetary gifts can also be funneled through various charities, which have the advantage of being more efficient through the use of economy of scale, buying in bulk, and already-established connections. However, it is imperative that you be sure the charities are legitimate and reputable. It's all too common for fake charities to pop up in the wake of disasters and scam people who want to help. Be very suspicious of new charities you've never heard of before, and research them. Charity Navigator, Charity Watchdog, and Guidestar are good sources to check, as well as Consumer Reports and news outlets. If you're unsure the legitimacy or efficacy of a given organization, don't give it a cent. If you have reason to believe it's an outright scam, contact someone who can do something about it, like a news reporter, law enforcement, or the attorney general's office (or local equivalent).
IN-KIND DONATIONS AND MASLOW
There is a place for physical gifts--money isn't the only thing that can help. Right after a catastrophe, what's needed? What gets priority? Don't assume that the thing you want to give is the thing that's needed. The season nine M*A*S*H episode "Death Takes a Holiday" drives this point home (spoilers alert: go watch the episode if you're able; it's really good): a main character donates exquisite handmade chocolates to a local war-torn orphanage, continuing his family tradition of giving such luxuries to the less fortunate. He's initially outraged to learn that the orphanage director sold the chocolate on the black market, but softens quickly when the director points out the happiness from the treat would have lasted a moment or two, but the money from their sale will provide food for an entire month. The donor apologizes for his outburst with an eloquent epiphany: "It is sadly inappropriate to give dessert to a child who has had no meal."
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| https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html |
In the immediate aftermath, there might not be time to go shopping, or even the ability, depending on the time and scope of the disaster. But if you have on hand extra food, blankets, clean water, or a spare room--and you can safely share them--feel free to. Be sure your items are appropriate: you'll have to search long and hard to find someone who wants used underwear, no matter how new it looks. Heat-and-serve meals can be convenient and are often comfort foods, but not very easy to make if there's no home to cook it in. Don't give just the sake of giving; give something useful.
As the recovery progresses, there is likely to be ongoing needs. This is when hand-made items might be more appropriate--you can invest the time needed to make something after basic needs are met (either by you or someone else; you don't have to do it alone). Sometimes groups will auction off a large items made for a specific. For example, after the 2014 Oso mudslide in Washington, a small group of people came together to commission and sew a quilt that was auctioned off with other donations at a gala (https://www.heraldnet.com/news/oso-memorial-fundraiser-seeks-to-help-build-a-place-to-heal/). All the proceeds, including ticket sales for entry, went to help the community that had been destroyed and build a very moving memorial for the 43 people who died. Similarly, groups like the Linus Project provide handmade blankets to children in hospitals, and other charities make other keepsakes to help families through difficult circumstances. Pre-existing social groups like churches and guilds often organize meal trains or house cleaning when a member is beset by financial, medical, or other catastrophe.
Currently, the world is still dealing with the already months-long COVID19 pandemic. People are stressed over the uncertainty of...everything, and the end is unclear. Initially, the concern was scrambling to have enough hospital space and medical equipment. While that's still being addressed, there are other issues that need attention too. There's plenty of time for those with the ability and resources to sew masks for people, either for donation or sale (no moral objection from me; people need to be able to buy food). People feeling isolated need phone calls, video chats, or letters to feel connected again.
Along similar lines, some charities help victims of long-lasting or widespread disasters funnel their talents into businesses, setting them up for long-term success. Fair trade items, though not without controversy, are a good example of this, and available in a variety of physical and online stores.
BURNOUT AND OXYGEN MASKS
As you help someone through an emergency, watch out for your own well-being. While you can absolutely make a difference to some people, you can't save the entire world. You also won't do much help in the long run if you, for example, visit a disaster-torn area and end up taking much-needed resources from the actual victims of it.
Burnout is a real thing. Far too often, family ends up sole caretakers for a loved one who needs professional help, and feels too embarrassed or proud to ask for help, or doesn't realize how much the help is needed until it's too late. It's not wrong or unloving to admit that you can't do it alone; on the contrary, I think it takes more love to be able to let people help--your love for your family member is more important than your pride. Take care of yourself and don't spread yourself too thin. You won't be able to continue helping if you run yourself into the ground. As the saying goes, put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others with theirs.
It's okay to say no sometimes. You don't need to help every single person, especially when doing so is detrimental to yourself. Don't metaphorically set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Sheltering an abuse victim is undeniably selfless, but are you opening yourself up to danger from the abuser? It might be better in the long run to get the abuse victim to a safehouse or professional shelter.
THE LITTLE THINGS
Depending on your circumstances, you might not be able to do much in the way of monetary or in-kind support. You yourself might be one of the victims of the disaster, or maybe the disaster was of a scale that you really need to step aside and let the professionals handle the matter. Those of us who remember the 9/11 terror attacks might also recall that people lined up to donate blood...but there weren't enough people who survived to use that much and blood banks turned people, including my brother, away and asked them to come back in the next few weeks to keep the baseline blood supply adequate.
So, what happens when it seems like there's nothing you can but you're still drawn to help? You remember that your gesture doesn't need to be huge. Even a five dollar donation to a food bank can be added to the small donations from dozens of others and stretched to help far more than you could do on your own.
As you would with someone grieving, you can also show support just by being there. Even if the disaster doesn't come with actual loss of life, it will be jarring to the victims. A card, a phone call, attending a public memorial--this means something to people trying to put their lives together, and helps with the higher parts on Maslow's hierarchy pyramid.
When you feel called to help, take care to offer real, meaningful, and useful help--and answer the call.
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