What do you do when someone is leaving for somewhere far away? How can you encourage your relationship to survive the distance? If you want to encourage keeping in touch, you can give...
SOMETHING TO REMEMBER ME BY
We live in a city with military base: people come and go often. When a classmate of my daughter was preparing for a move across the country and sad about missing her friends, I was able to get the teacher to help with a going-away present: the teacher took a picture of the class, emailed it to me so I could print it, and I put it in a wooden frame found cheap at a second-hand store so the class could sign it.
Pictures and cards are good mementos, and easy to pack. For someone you're especially close to, you might be able to make or find something to recall a special time you had together, or a joke you share.
As long as it's not too difficult to pack, maybe you can send along something your area is known for: specialty foods (that won't spoil before they can be used), artwork (that will stay intact), plants (that aren't invasive), or other memories of a former home.
HELP FOR THE JOURNEY
The person who's leaving likely has a long way to go, be it by plane, train, car, boat, or some combination. Money or gift cards for gas, food, and lodging along the way are sure to be helpful. You could make a playlist of songs that are important to the two of you, or buy or make activity books keep the recipient (or the recipient's travel companions, especially young ones) occupied. If the trip includes travel to a foreign country, your recipient might like foreign currency or maybe a handmade or storebought pouch to hold a passport and other travel documents.
WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME
Do you know your recipient's new address, and can you time mail to be there on moving-in day? If not then, maybe a week later--perhaps with gift cards to local places or guides to the new area. Many cities are willing to mail brochures from the chamber of commerce, and companies like AAA are also a wealth of information on where to get started in new places. For foreign countries, a bit of cash in the local currency can be very helpful; you can get this at most banks (although it can take up to a few weeks).
Not everyone will want to advertise that they're new in town, so don't go signing people up for welcome services or registering them at local clubs. Instead, give your recipient the information and leave the decision to the one who will be affected by it.
STAYING IN TOUCH
Don't let "out of sight, out of mind" be true. If you see something that reminds you of the person who moved away, text a quick picture. If an annual event you used to attend together rolls around, maybe send a souvenir or postcard of it.
You can make it easy for your far-flung recipient to stay in touch, too. When another classmate moved away, my daughter's class sent her off with a stack of stamped cards addressed to their classroom (and a few blank ones) so she was able to write to them from time to time.
Moving far away is a big step, and you want to make it easy on those who undertake it while letting them know that distance is something easily overcome by friendship.
Friday, May 15, 2020
Friday, May 1, 2020
Buying Gifts Online: Tips and Resources
The internet is a great resource for obscure items. With so many website selling handmade or secondhand items, it's easier than ever to find just the right gift. Here are some ways to make it easier:
TIMING
Almost anything ordered online will need to be mailed to you or the recipient, with the exception of things like gift cards, email greeting cards, and intangible items you can print or email proof of. Any number of things can delay shipping, especially if you order from another country. Order with plenty of time to spare and you'll not only give yourself a generous cushion for the unexpected, you'll avoid premium fees for expedited shipping. It also gives you time to be sure the gift isn't damaged, especially if it's secondhand (for example, you'll be able to watch a used DVD to be sure it plays correctly).
For bigger items, order when you'll be home during the delivery window. You don't want a big package sitting outside your door when you're on vacation, so unless someone is collecting or holding your mail for you, be careful of when the gift will arrive.
If you're having the gift sent directly to the recipient, consider whether you want options like gift wrapping or having the price hidden. Not every service will offer this. Make sure the recipient isn't heading out of town when the gift will be delivered.
SAVING MONEY
There are a number of websites that help you save money when ordering online. For discount codes and coupons, check sites like RetailMeNot or NaughtyCodes. Both let you enter the name of the site you're ordering from to check what current deals and coupons are available. You can also often get a discount for your first order from an online store if you create an account or sign up for a newsletter. Deals vary from a free item to a percentage off your first purchase.
There are also browser extensions you can use that automatically look for discount codes when you're shopping online. My two favorite are Honey and Wikibuy. Both show me options for deals when I'm on the checkout page of an online store, and both also store small amounts of points from purchases that I can redeem for gift cards.
You can also track the prices of specific items to see when the lowest prices and buy when the price drops to what you'd prefer to pay. Wikibuy does this, as well as Keepa and CamelCamelCamel, the latter two specifically for Amazon products.
CAVEAT EMPTOR
Be wary of deals that seem too good to be true. If an item is being sold for a fraction of its usual price, especially from a far away country or secondhand, it might not be what you're looking for or it might be broken. If the seller says up front the item will take longer to arrive than the charge dispute window for how you're paying, be careful. For example, you have 180 days to charge a dispute on Paypal. Six months should be plenty of time to get even a custom handmade item, so something that will take longer than that to arrive is a huge red flag.
Make sure you're really getting what you think you are. Read the product description. Are you getting a finished blanket, or the instructions for making one yourself? Is it a full-length mirror, or a handheld one? The book you wanted, or the movie adapted from the book? The soundtrack to that movie? (Fortunately, when that happened to me, it was just something I'd put on hold at the library)
If you're boycotting a particular company or product, you can do some internet research to be sure your gift won't accidentally support something you or the recipient detest. Buycott is a great website to check potential purchases. You can also use it to check items you might want to buy in person.
The internet is vast and you can find the perfect unique gift on it. Just be sure it will arrive on time, intact, for the best price, and that it's something you'll be happy giving.
TIMING
Almost anything ordered online will need to be mailed to you or the recipient, with the exception of things like gift cards, email greeting cards, and intangible items you can print or email proof of. Any number of things can delay shipping, especially if you order from another country. Order with plenty of time to spare and you'll not only give yourself a generous cushion for the unexpected, you'll avoid premium fees for expedited shipping. It also gives you time to be sure the gift isn't damaged, especially if it's secondhand (for example, you'll be able to watch a used DVD to be sure it plays correctly).
For bigger items, order when you'll be home during the delivery window. You don't want a big package sitting outside your door when you're on vacation, so unless someone is collecting or holding your mail for you, be careful of when the gift will arrive.
If you're having the gift sent directly to the recipient, consider whether you want options like gift wrapping or having the price hidden. Not every service will offer this. Make sure the recipient isn't heading out of town when the gift will be delivered.
SAVING MONEY
There are a number of websites that help you save money when ordering online. For discount codes and coupons, check sites like RetailMeNot or NaughtyCodes. Both let you enter the name of the site you're ordering from to check what current deals and coupons are available. You can also often get a discount for your first order from an online store if you create an account or sign up for a newsletter. Deals vary from a free item to a percentage off your first purchase.
There are also browser extensions you can use that automatically look for discount codes when you're shopping online. My two favorite are Honey and Wikibuy. Both show me options for deals when I'm on the checkout page of an online store, and both also store small amounts of points from purchases that I can redeem for gift cards.
You can also track the prices of specific items to see when the lowest prices and buy when the price drops to what you'd prefer to pay. Wikibuy does this, as well as Keepa and CamelCamelCamel, the latter two specifically for Amazon products.
CAVEAT EMPTOR
Be wary of deals that seem too good to be true. If an item is being sold for a fraction of its usual price, especially from a far away country or secondhand, it might not be what you're looking for or it might be broken. If the seller says up front the item will take longer to arrive than the charge dispute window for how you're paying, be careful. For example, you have 180 days to charge a dispute on Paypal. Six months should be plenty of time to get even a custom handmade item, so something that will take longer than that to arrive is a huge red flag.
Make sure you're really getting what you think you are. Read the product description. Are you getting a finished blanket, or the instructions for making one yourself? Is it a full-length mirror, or a handheld one? The book you wanted, or the movie adapted from the book? The soundtrack to that movie? (Fortunately, when that happened to me, it was just something I'd put on hold at the library)
If you're boycotting a particular company or product, you can do some internet research to be sure your gift won't accidentally support something you or the recipient detest. Buycott is a great website to check potential purchases. You can also use it to check items you might want to buy in person.
The internet is vast and you can find the perfect unique gift on it. Just be sure it will arrive on time, intact, for the best price, and that it's something you'll be happy giving.
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