Gifts for: Getting Well

When someone is sick or injured, it's natural to want to help. Here are some ideas:

FOOD

Someone who's recovering is going to be exhausted, physically and mentally. Having food on hand helps people remember to eat. A variety of foods that can be frozen and eaten readily help both the person recovering and anyone helping.

Soups, quiches, casseroles, cookies, and snacks like sausage rolls all freeze well--these kept my parents fed for several days following a medical procedure, so the one who had it could rest and the one who didn't could take care of other things around the house, and both had more time to relax.

As with any gift of food, be aware of allergies, intolerances, cultural and religious taboos, and other dietary restrictions. Try to deliver the food in packaging that doesn't need to be returned to you, like bags, foil, or cheap containers. Have the food cooked if possible (in the picture above, the minestrone soup is cooked but the noodles are still raw, so they don't fall apart before the soup is eaten) and ready for the freezer, with instructions on reheating. Include an ingredient list as well, as some foods interact with medications you might not know the recipient is taking. Consider including utensils and napkins as well. Maybe some flowers, too!

Of course, you don't have to do it all yourself. You might want to organize a meal train, where several people coordinate days to drop off food. Often a person's co-workers, friends, or fellow members of a religious community are happy to help.

And the food needn't be homemade. It might not be practical to try to send homemade food over long distances. When a relative had a baby in the NICU several states away, I wasn't able to mail a lasagna. What I could do was call a few local food delivery places and pay for gift cards to be sent to my family, so they could focus on the new baby (who is now doing great) instead of trying to figure out what to have for dinner. Another time, I signed up for a day on a meal train for a church member with a new baby, and ordered pizza for my night. The pizza parlor had no issue delivering to an address different than that of the person paying for it, and I included a delivery tip in my payment (and told the family I had).

HOUSEHOLD HELP

Everyone has at least one housekeeping task they dread, whether it's dusting or laundry or dishes or something else. If you're close enough to visit during someone's convalescence, offer to help with a task. Be specific: "Let me sweep so you can rest" instead of "Can I do anything?" It's easier to agree to a specific task than think of one. Especially for a long recovery, you can ask if anything's due soon, like a car's oil change.

If you're not close, you can also offer to hire a maid service or to pay for a neighbor to mow the lawn. Some hairdressers and beauticians even offer in-home appointments!

You can even help by proxy. At the moment, I can't visit my grandparents to help with anything directly because of COVID19 concerns, and because of their age, they're supposed to stay home as much as possible. But my next-door neighbor is about their age, and her family can't visit for the same reason. Instead of bringing my grandparents food, I've taken a few meals and some flowers to my neighbor and started taking her waste cans to and from the curb on trash pick up days, and my grandparents' neighbors have checked on them. My grandparents like to hear that I'm looking out for the people around me, and I appreciate those who have helped my grandparents.

SHOW YOU CARE: BE THERE

While neither my neighbor nor my grandparents are sick (thank God), they have felt cut off with the lockdown orders. I can't visit in person, but I can make more of an effort to call and send pictures and letters through email and regular mail. When people are at home for a long time, it's very helpful for them to know the world hasn't left them behind.

In normal circumstances, you can visit a person in the hospital, recovery center, or at home to relieve boredom and provide face-to-face interaction. Even if there's no housework to do or meals needed, a visit can lift spirits.

COMBAT BOREDOM

Depending on the illness or injury, recovery can be long and boring. One of my friends was on bedrest when she was pregnant...for weeks. She felt fine, but had to be in the hospital to keep her twins safe. The hospital staff was excellent to her, but she was far from the only patient, so she craved visits. Another friend had a long recovery at home following knee surgery, so I sent her some puzzles and crossword books. When an out-of-state cousin had a stroke and was ordered home to rest, I mailed her several books in her favorite genre, coloring books for her two children, and snacks for everyone.

RELIEVE THE BURDEN...DON'T BE ONE

Recovery can be hard. The body needs resources to heal, and physical, occupational, and other therapies are exhausting. Some people really like their alone time! When visiting, keep in mind that a person might tire more easily, and be ready to cut your visit short. If you visit someone in a hospital or nursing home, check with a staff member first to be sure the person is ready to receive visitors. If visiting someone at home, be prepared to be told that it's not a good day for a visit. You can be frustrated at the situation, just don't take it out on anyone. Also, trust the person's doctors. This is not the time for quack remedies or empty platitudes--it's one thing to send a thoughtful card with the promise to pray for someone, it's another to blame a person's malady on lack of faith. Be careful not to give gifts that require a lot of energy to use, and don't expect to be waited on. You want to be the one helping!